Highlight of the day: I sutured my friend's grandma. I sms-ed him, and he thinks it's cool too.
The day started with normal ward rounds and sutures in the morning. I managed to signed off a procedural sheet for 3 sutures that I had done. Again, I really felt that I am doing something with these hands that God gave me. I started doing Medicine so that I can work with my hands and my brain. I feel that both represents my being. I don't have a golden figure, or a golden kick, or a golden voice, but I have my hands and my brain.
I've mentioned about my fear of getting dementia, or losing control of my brain and thinking. I don't think I have mentioned much about my hands. I like craftwork. I started out liking origami, which slowly branched out to other art stuff, including drawing and paper crafts. I slowly branched into beads, and jewelry at the beginning of the year. I am proud of what I have done, but I do wish that I can use them for something much more useful.
That's how I first got interested in Medicine. I wanted to do surgery. My second choice was dentistry, where again, there is a bit of handwork. When I failed to get into either course in NUS, I went to IMU, with the intention to be a surgeon in Singapore. I didn't like the racism in Malaysia, and I never wanted to go back there. Singapore was the next best thing and I really liked it there. However, IMU being in Malaysia, I had no choice if I wanted to be a surgeon.
In IMU, I had less chances to use my hands, but I still did arts and craft. I still have a model Titanic with weekly parts that I have to finish, but I never had the time to complete. Model making was the next handiwork I could do with my hands and I enjoyed it. Now that I think back, it really deviated a lot from what I initially started out with.
Then, I came to Perth. I really enjoyed scrubbing in and taking part in the surgeries I observed. I liked to watch the surgeon's nimble hands doing sutures, tying 5-0 and 6-0 threads onto blood vessels or doing perfect subcuticular stitches. Despite that, I had really little experience doing the sutures myself. Neither surgical terms I had allowed me to do that.
However, when it comes to being in ED and GP, and having a GP who lets me do stuff, I managed to finally do what I wanted to do all these while.
The question now is: Where do I go from here.
Showing posts with label My Past. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Past. Show all posts
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 15
Today’s topic: Criminals.
Crime is bound by law, and is bound by what is considered the norm. If everybody thinks that murder is a normal thing, then it wouldn’t be a crime to do it. Every religion tells us to be peaceful, and that killing is wrong. However, just basic common sense is enough to keep you from breaking the law.
My conclusion is that all criminals are mentally ill.
That’s what I felt when I visited the prison again today. I guess it is in the Hippocratic Oath that I shall not discriminate who I doctor, but sometimes I do not feel like these crazy people deserve any medical treatment. It gets hard though, if we start labeling them as crazy, as they can use it as a defense against their action. But the fact still remains; no sane person will kill someone else.
On a lighter note, I had dinner with Dr. Tompkins and her family tonight. She took me on the scenic route from the city centre to the hospital, giving me a good view of Middleton Beach. It was really beautiful to see the beach and the ocean. All I needed now is time and transport so that I can enjoy the sun and sand more easily.
Dinner was simple, but I really enjoy being in a family environment. The dogs were extra friendly, and the children are just as shy. Dr. Tompkins read a few bedtime stories and I was actually intrigued by the stories and I was brought back to my own childhood with bedtime stories.
Actually, I cannot remember many bed time stories. I remember borrowing a book from the public library with 365 stories in it. It is mostly short stories, so it was a fast read. And given that I was probably 9 years old, I managed to read the entire book just in time to return it a week later. My parents encouraged us to read a lot. I guess they would have read a few to me. You can never place a price on books. I love books.
But nowadays I tend to pick my books. There are some that I cannot last reading, there are some that I cannot put down until it ends. I haven’t read any books of late. I brought a novel with me, titled, “The GoodFellas.” It is supposed to be a nice read, but I have to wait until I have the mood to read it. And yes nowadays I prefer watching stuff…
Crime is bound by law, and is bound by what is considered the norm. If everybody thinks that murder is a normal thing, then it wouldn’t be a crime to do it. Every religion tells us to be peaceful, and that killing is wrong. However, just basic common sense is enough to keep you from breaking the law.
My conclusion is that all criminals are mentally ill.
That’s what I felt when I visited the prison again today. I guess it is in the Hippocratic Oath that I shall not discriminate who I doctor, but sometimes I do not feel like these crazy people deserve any medical treatment. It gets hard though, if we start labeling them as crazy, as they can use it as a defense against their action. But the fact still remains; no sane person will kill someone else.
On a lighter note, I had dinner with Dr. Tompkins and her family tonight. She took me on the scenic route from the city centre to the hospital, giving me a good view of Middleton Beach. It was really beautiful to see the beach and the ocean. All I needed now is time and transport so that I can enjoy the sun and sand more easily.
Dinner was simple, but I really enjoy being in a family environment. The dogs were extra friendly, and the children are just as shy. Dr. Tompkins read a few bedtime stories and I was actually intrigued by the stories and I was brought back to my own childhood with bedtime stories.
Actually, I cannot remember many bed time stories. I remember borrowing a book from the public library with 365 stories in it. It is mostly short stories, so it was a fast read. And given that I was probably 9 years old, I managed to read the entire book just in time to return it a week later. My parents encouraged us to read a lot. I guess they would have read a few to me. You can never place a price on books. I love books.
But nowadays I tend to pick my books. There are some that I cannot last reading, there are some that I cannot put down until it ends. I haven’t read any books of late. I brought a novel with me, titled, “The GoodFellas.” It is supposed to be a nice read, but I have to wait until I have the mood to read it. And yes nowadays I prefer watching stuff…
Friday, May 16, 2008
Time...
I just reformatted my HD and reinstalled all the programs that I needed...
Now I am in the process of adding sites to my bookmarks. I guess it became a habit of mine back when I was in Singapore to visit a certain series of websites, decipher.com, ecircles.com, circles99.com, communityzero.com, hotmail.com and a few more that I cannot remember. Anyway, I since it was imprinted in my memory, I decided to visit them for old times sake. Or rather I was lost to which sites I currently visit nowadays...
Surprisingly, my old circles99 groups are still there. I even checked the M203 group, which surprisingly had visits all the way since 2006 where we all dispersed from Bukit Jalil campus, albeit the once a month random visit. Last entry was Febuary this year and the previous one was August 2006.
With this feeling of nostalgia, I confided in my partner in crime, Raj, and visited old chat programs, mainly ICQ and Yahoo! Messenger. ICQ was THE chat program of the last century. I vaguely recalled my number, thus I spent 30 minutes locating ME. 41290931. I remember the time when I refused to use MSN because ICQ does it all. Anyway, I logged in... and... found no one online... (2hrs later while writing this, it is still empty). I can't really say that I am surprised, but I had a look at all my contacts, most of whom I had not talked to in a very very long time. (I also checked my 7 Yahoo! Messenger contacts, who were also not online...)
Even at one time, Friendster was a huge hit. I still see many of my contacts there log in and update stuff, but I seldom log in there now... I am putting up a message that I have permanently moved to Facebook. Yeah, Facebook... the replacement for Friendster, which replaced circles99, which replaced communityzero.com, which replaced ecircles. Facebook looks like it is going strong. I doubt that it will fall apart anytime soon. With all the applications (Graffiti, my favourite), walls and connectivity, I would give it 1 more year at least. Though, with that being said, I know of a few friends who already gave up on facebook.
Of course there is the everlasting Blogs which existed in my life since 1999. Never really got into blogs... but it's out there...
I also have a MySpace page and MSN Live Spaces. I also recently recently registered under twitter.com, pownce.com, orkut.com and jaiku.com. All ready to become the Internet's Top Community Program. Stay tuned. As for my websites, I have this blog and Picassa. And not to mention the various free porn sites. Seriously, not going to mention them.
I've come to a point where there are so many Tom, Dick and Harry Community programs, I just want to stick with one although no one wants to stick with it anymore. I used to join all these things bcause I was afraid of being left out. Frankly, I still am, but I decided to keep in contact to the people who matter and those in the immediate vicinity. I mean, like getting home addresses and occupation and stuff. It sounds like I only know a person for their use... HAHA...
I guess this is how the times have changed over the years...
Now I am in the process of adding sites to my bookmarks. I guess it became a habit of mine back when I was in Singapore to visit a certain series of websites, decipher.com, ecircles.com, circles99.com, communityzero.com, hotmail.com and a few more that I cannot remember. Anyway, I since it was imprinted in my memory, I decided to visit them for old times sake. Or rather I was lost to which sites I currently visit nowadays...
Surprisingly, my old circles99 groups are still there. I even checked the M203 group, which surprisingly had visits all the way since 2006 where we all dispersed from Bukit Jalil campus, albeit the once a month random visit. Last entry was Febuary this year and the previous one was August 2006.
With this feeling of nostalgia, I confided in my partner in crime, Raj, and visited old chat programs, mainly ICQ and Yahoo! Messenger. ICQ was THE chat program of the last century. I vaguely recalled my number, thus I spent 30 minutes locating ME. 41290931. I remember the time when I refused to use MSN because ICQ does it all. Anyway, I logged in... and... found no one online... (2hrs later while writing this, it is still empty). I can't really say that I am surprised, but I had a look at all my contacts, most of whom I had not talked to in a very very long time. (I also checked my 7 Yahoo! Messenger contacts, who were also not online...)
Even at one time, Friendster was a huge hit. I still see many of my contacts there log in and update stuff, but I seldom log in there now... I am putting up a message that I have permanently moved to Facebook. Yeah, Facebook... the replacement for Friendster, which replaced circles99, which replaced communityzero.com, which replaced ecircles. Facebook looks like it is going strong. I doubt that it will fall apart anytime soon. With all the applications (Graffiti, my favourite), walls and connectivity, I would give it 1 more year at least. Though, with that being said, I know of a few friends who already gave up on facebook.
Of course there is the everlasting Blogs which existed in my life since 1999. Never really got into blogs... but it's out there...
I also have a MySpace page and MSN Live Spaces. I also recently recently registered under twitter.com, pownce.com, orkut.com and jaiku.com. All ready to become the Internet's Top Community Program. Stay tuned. As for my websites, I have this blog and Picassa. And not to mention the various free porn sites. Seriously, not going to mention them.
I've come to a point where there are so many Tom, Dick and Harry Community programs, I just want to stick with one although no one wants to stick with it anymore. I used to join all these things bcause I was afraid of being left out. Frankly, I still am, but I decided to keep in contact to the people who matter and those in the immediate vicinity. I mean, like getting home addresses and occupation and stuff. It sounds like I only know a person for their use... HAHA...
I guess this is how the times have changed over the years...
Saturday, March 03, 2007
My Birthday
I don't like celebrating my birthday. Frankly, I don't know what the significance of birthdays is anymore. It's not like I don't want to be reminded that I am old. I grow older every day. I mean I am only one day older than yesterday, not one year. To me, time is a relative thing. It is an arbitrary unit created by quantifying events that happen. Why does an hour have 60 minutes? Why 24 hours in one day? If the people who created the units on Mars, would we get the same results? Mass and length do.
Back to birthdays, I just don't like it because I don't know how to feel on that day. Happy and grateful that I've survived another year? Sad and depressed that I've grown older but not wiser? Angry that no one remembers or cares about it? I sometimes feel alone and I want to be alone. Sometimes I even want to forget that day even. Every year I plan to hide and not be known. But every year I will go through those feelings and I hate that uncomfortable feeling the whole day.
I feel like I want a celebration, but I don’t like telling others my birthday. It is like there isn’t a point in giving out that information because I am not going to get anything. Even with loved ones, good friends, they all don’t remember. I don’t want to be reminding them; that is just blunt.
Others celebrate their birthdays by throwing a party and inviting a lot of people. I don’t do that anymore. I used to give out sweets to everyone in class and close friends on my birthday because that is the thing to do. My last biggest celebration was when I was 10 when even my father’s friends came. I have no idea why. As I grew older, the parties got smaller, even to a point of just a wish from my family. We used to be able to pick our own presents and nothing was ever a big surprise. From the kiddie toys to the story books, everything was what I wanted. In my teenage years, my gifts became more like everything I needed, practical items. This, was always given by my sister. In the end, whenever I get gifts or receive any, I would prefer something more lasting. I don’t like perishable goods, like chocolates or candy.
For the past few years now, I didn’t get any presents for my birthday. I am just getting used to that. Then it hit me as to why… it is just another day.
Back to birthdays, I just don't like it because I don't know how to feel on that day. Happy and grateful that I've survived another year? Sad and depressed that I've grown older but not wiser? Angry that no one remembers or cares about it? I sometimes feel alone and I want to be alone. Sometimes I even want to forget that day even. Every year I plan to hide and not be known. But every year I will go through those feelings and I hate that uncomfortable feeling the whole day.
I feel like I want a celebration, but I don’t like telling others my birthday. It is like there isn’t a point in giving out that information because I am not going to get anything. Even with loved ones, good friends, they all don’t remember. I don’t want to be reminding them; that is just blunt.
Others celebrate their birthdays by throwing a party and inviting a lot of people. I don’t do that anymore. I used to give out sweets to everyone in class and close friends on my birthday because that is the thing to do. My last biggest celebration was when I was 10 when even my father’s friends came. I have no idea why. As I grew older, the parties got smaller, even to a point of just a wish from my family. We used to be able to pick our own presents and nothing was ever a big surprise. From the kiddie toys to the story books, everything was what I wanted. In my teenage years, my gifts became more like everything I needed, practical items. This, was always given by my sister. In the end, whenever I get gifts or receive any, I would prefer something more lasting. I don’t like perishable goods, like chocolates or candy.
For the past few years now, I didn’t get any presents for my birthday. I am just getting used to that. Then it hit me as to why… it is just another day.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Bath of a lifetime
She told me that she was going to do something special with me that fine day. I knew from the look in her eye that I was, going to enjoy it. All I could do was to smile back.
I did not have any clue at all as to what it was. But to me, doing anything with this lady whom I have grew to love will be good. Everything that she has done so far was to show how much she loved me. I could not even begin to show how much I loved her in return.
That night, we both got ready for what was planned for me. I was excited. She had already allowed me to touch and suck on her lovely breasts, and that was a really lovely time, truly an enriching moment. I could only wonder what she would let me do later.
She called me from the bedroom, telling me that she was ready. I replied that I was ready too. She picked me up and started undressing me like she always did. Soon, was stark naked in front of this beautiful and wonderful lady. She led me into the bathroom and revealed that she was going to give me a bath!
She had the tub filled with warm water. She tested the water, making sure that it was perfect for me. She was always careful with everything she does with me and again I really appreciated her presence. Slowly, I was lowered into the water. It was a little shocking at first, but her face was so calm and she was encouraging me. As I got used to the water, I started laughing.
She got down on her knees and started rubbing me everywhere. She used a mixture of the warn water and some soap to clean my body. Every stoke was a gentle carress, which I enjoyed more and more. She touched me in places that I would not have thought of. She did not even spare the inbetween of my toes and I was subjected to a little torture of being tickled. I never knew that taking a bath could he so much fun!
About 30 minutes later, we were done.
This was nearly 24 years ago and the memory has been long forgotten, but my parents both can recall this memorable moment. All I can say now is that I love them and can only wish that I could show the same kind of love to my children.
I did not have any clue at all as to what it was. But to me, doing anything with this lady whom I have grew to love will be good. Everything that she has done so far was to show how much she loved me. I could not even begin to show how much I loved her in return.
That night, we both got ready for what was planned for me. I was excited. She had already allowed me to touch and suck on her lovely breasts, and that was a really lovely time, truly an enriching moment. I could only wonder what she would let me do later.
She called me from the bedroom, telling me that she was ready. I replied that I was ready too. She picked me up and started undressing me like she always did. Soon, was stark naked in front of this beautiful and wonderful lady. She led me into the bathroom and revealed that she was going to give me a bath!
She had the tub filled with warm water. She tested the water, making sure that it was perfect for me. She was always careful with everything she does with me and again I really appreciated her presence. Slowly, I was lowered into the water. It was a little shocking at first, but her face was so calm and she was encouraging me. As I got used to the water, I started laughing.
She got down on her knees and started rubbing me everywhere. She used a mixture of the warn water and some soap to clean my body. Every stoke was a gentle carress, which I enjoyed more and more. She touched me in places that I would not have thought of. She did not even spare the inbetween of my toes and I was subjected to a little torture of being tickled. I never knew that taking a bath could he so much fun!
About 30 minutes later, we were done.
This was nearly 24 years ago and the memory has been long forgotten, but my parents both can recall this memorable moment. All I can say now is that I love them and can only wish that I could show the same kind of love to my children.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Update
Well...
Been on World of Warcraft all this while. Finally got my cat mount, I am so happy.
Moved to the new place. Tiring, but I managed it alone.
Watched countless movies. Will try to make reviews later. As of now, go watch HAPPY FEET.
Finally home. To think that there will be so much to do... Oh, the food... I have yet to eat everything that I want to...
Right now, all I am doing is watching Scrubs and all the movies that has been collecting dust over the years. I am also enjoying Animal Planet and National Geographic on my limited Astro service. Computer games seems unappealing nowadays as I cannot replace WoW. I watch all there is to watch, and try to read as much as I can. Even though 1 month is quite a long time, it will pass.
Anyway, this is the list of movies that I have watched over this few weeks:
Ali G: bling bling
Borat
Monster House
Happy Feet
World Trade Centre
Underworld: Evolution
Cheaper by the Dozen II
American Pie: Band Camp
Heart and Souls
You, Me and Dupree
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (first half)
I went on my first walk since I got back. Its probably the first walk I had this year. Its nice to finally feel the wet earth benneth your feet, with the smell of fresh rubber off the tree, skipping stones acorss the muddy pond teeming with tadpoles. A fresh wave of mosquitoes hovering over your body. I miss all of this. Sure, I have a river I walk along every once in a while, but the jungle is something that I grew up with. I wish I can get back to my primal state, and not rely on the comforts of life anymore.
I remember the times when we used to climb trees and go on little adventures around the neighbourhood with my siblings. We used to play in the mud, capture tadpoles and get all dirty, before taking baths together. I can't remember when was the last time I was able to take a bath in the rain, or under the moonlight. That little walk I had just brought back so many memories of home.
Well, back to indulging in being home
Been on World of Warcraft all this while. Finally got my cat mount, I am so happy.
Moved to the new place. Tiring, but I managed it alone.
Watched countless movies. Will try to make reviews later. As of now, go watch HAPPY FEET.
Finally home. To think that there will be so much to do... Oh, the food... I have yet to eat everything that I want to...
Right now, all I am doing is watching Scrubs and all the movies that has been collecting dust over the years. I am also enjoying Animal Planet and National Geographic on my limited Astro service. Computer games seems unappealing nowadays as I cannot replace WoW. I watch all there is to watch, and try to read as much as I can. Even though 1 month is quite a long time, it will pass.
Anyway, this is the list of movies that I have watched over this few weeks:
Ali G: bling bling
Borat
Monster House
Happy Feet
World Trade Centre
Underworld: Evolution
Cheaper by the Dozen II
American Pie: Band Camp
Heart and Souls
You, Me and Dupree
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (first half)
I went on my first walk since I got back. Its probably the first walk I had this year. Its nice to finally feel the wet earth benneth your feet, with the smell of fresh rubber off the tree, skipping stones acorss the muddy pond teeming with tadpoles. A fresh wave of mosquitoes hovering over your body. I miss all of this. Sure, I have a river I walk along every once in a while, but the jungle is something that I grew up with. I wish I can get back to my primal state, and not rely on the comforts of life anymore.
I remember the times when we used to climb trees and go on little adventures around the neighbourhood with my siblings. We used to play in the mud, capture tadpoles and get all dirty, before taking baths together. I can't remember when was the last time I was able to take a bath in the rain, or under the moonlight. That little walk I had just brought back so many memories of home.
Well, back to indulging in being home
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Se7en
There was once a timid shy boy. He didn't speak any other languages other than English and loved maths. He didn't really like kindergarden and at any opportunity, he would skip kindergarden and basically did nothing at home. He found the activities in kindergarden a bore most of times as most of the things taught were mostly already known to him. He had very good parents who taught him everything he knew. Other day activities in kindergarden involved playing with plasticine and drawing pictures. This boy also liked trying new things and did everything he can.
Another boy, was also as shy. He loved school and didn't play truant like the first boy. He also excelled in his studies and was very good nutured. He was popular among the teachers and but being this good, he wasn't into sports. He didn't do well in games but he tried mixing around. He had some close friends. He also became a prefect, naturally and other students look up to him. But he was still a shy boy and never liked public speaking and stuff. He never liked breaking the rules and always abide to them.
This thrid boy, was a very playful boy. He had very playful friends and often get into trouble with them, despite being a prefect. They didn't do anything illegal or harmful, but just fun. They also had loads of fun doing stuff other than studies. However, he also excelled in his studies and was quite independant. As the boy before, other people look up to him, but there were others who despised him. However, he never got into that sort of trouble.
Another boy, a one I met in Singapore, was an adventurous one. He loved trying out new things and made lots of friends. He was very independant and studious. He always tried to abide by rules and never complain about anything. He was also a leader in various ways, and the juniors like to go to him if they had any problems. He would try his very best to help out. He also joined many service societies and did a lot of voluntary work. He seldom thinks about himself and don't usually think about what others think about him.
The second boy in Singapore was not so good in his studies, but he did everything that he wanted. He had a good bunch of friends, but he never felt like he belonged anywhere. He was everywhere and nowhere. He was not such an outstanding leader, nor was he that talented. He didn't shine as others would have. He didn't have any complains though, and enjoyed whatever he did.
This next story is about a young man struggling to go through life. He was rather dependant on others to survive, mainly getting support from his peers. Others often go to him for help in artsy stuff and he took pride this thing that he had. Some say that he was being used, but he liked being useful. He also liked dance, movies and music. He even joined the Cheerleading team to give whatever support he could to his friends. He had a few close friends, but nobody actually knew him. He had 2 failed relationships in which he came out off tired and emotionally drained.
Finally, this story is about another young man, who is shy and timid. He has many friends, but nobody is close to him. He is on a emotional and spiritual journey to discover his purpose in life. He isn't doing well in his studies and is struggling to achieve what he had set out to do 6 years ago. He is plagued by disappointments and failures which gives him much distress. He constantly feels lonely and only has his computer as a companion.
This is me. My life.
Currently reading: lecture notes
Currently listening: Akatsuki no Kuruma by Yuuka
Currently playing: Civilization IV
Currently watching: Fate Stay Night, Bleach, Utawarerumono, Gundam SEED
Currently studying: for my semester exam
Another boy, was also as shy. He loved school and didn't play truant like the first boy. He also excelled in his studies and was very good nutured. He was popular among the teachers and but being this good, he wasn't into sports. He didn't do well in games but he tried mixing around. He had some close friends. He also became a prefect, naturally and other students look up to him. But he was still a shy boy and never liked public speaking and stuff. He never liked breaking the rules and always abide to them.
This thrid boy, was a very playful boy. He had very playful friends and often get into trouble with them, despite being a prefect. They didn't do anything illegal or harmful, but just fun. They also had loads of fun doing stuff other than studies. However, he also excelled in his studies and was quite independant. As the boy before, other people look up to him, but there were others who despised him. However, he never got into that sort of trouble.
Another boy, a one I met in Singapore, was an adventurous one. He loved trying out new things and made lots of friends. He was very independant and studious. He always tried to abide by rules and never complain about anything. He was also a leader in various ways, and the juniors like to go to him if they had any problems. He would try his very best to help out. He also joined many service societies and did a lot of voluntary work. He seldom thinks about himself and don't usually think about what others think about him.
The second boy in Singapore was not so good in his studies, but he did everything that he wanted. He had a good bunch of friends, but he never felt like he belonged anywhere. He was everywhere and nowhere. He was not such an outstanding leader, nor was he that talented. He didn't shine as others would have. He didn't have any complains though, and enjoyed whatever he did.
This next story is about a young man struggling to go through life. He was rather dependant on others to survive, mainly getting support from his peers. Others often go to him for help in artsy stuff and he took pride this thing that he had. Some say that he was being used, but he liked being useful. He also liked dance, movies and music. He even joined the Cheerleading team to give whatever support he could to his friends. He had a few close friends, but nobody actually knew him. He had 2 failed relationships in which he came out off tired and emotionally drained.
Finally, this story is about another young man, who is shy and timid. He has many friends, but nobody is close to him. He is on a emotional and spiritual journey to discover his purpose in life. He isn't doing well in his studies and is struggling to achieve what he had set out to do 6 years ago. He is plagued by disappointments and failures which gives him much distress. He constantly feels lonely and only has his computer as a companion.
This is me. My life.
Currently reading: lecture notes
Currently listening: Akatsuki no Kuruma by Yuuka
Currently playing: Civilization IV
Currently watching: Fate Stay Night, Bleach, Utawarerumono, Gundam SEED
Currently studying: for my semester exam
Monday, June 05, 2006
Top 100 Games by PC Power Play Australia
(* played before, + want to play)
From 100...
Space Tripper
Chessmaster 10th Ed
Gothic 2
Star Control 2
Pro Evolution Soccer 5
* Worms World Party (you've played one, you've played it all)
+ Myst 4: Revelation (definite must if you're a fan of the series like me)
+ The Last Express (cartoon aventure... no stressing yourself for good graphic cards)
+ Total Annihilation (can you believe I have not played this one??)
Silent Storm
MVP Baseball 2005
Codename: Panzers Phase 2
Manhunt
* Fahrenheit (good game with multiple storylines to one ending. Tests reflexes more than skill...)
* Zeus (I love greek mythology...)
Live for Speed
X-Com: Enemy Unknown
* The Longest Journey (the BEST adventure game so far... language use was so natural)
Tiger Woods 2005
Anachronox
* Mechwarrior 4: Mercenaries (BATTLETECH!!!)
Mafia
Silent Hunter 3
+ Alien vs Predator (start a face hugger, end an ultimate killing machine)
* Homeworld (takes RTS to the next level with 3D field)
Falcon 4: Allied Force
* Grim Fandango (takes Death to the next level...)
Microsoft Flight Simulator 2004
Grand Prix 4
* C&C Generals (I can never get over them C&C games...)
Lock on: Modern Air Combat
DOOM 2 (Raj probably will kill me for not playing or even wanting to play this)
Football manager 2005
Silent Hill 2 (takes Resident Evil to the next level...)
Planetside
Freedom Force vs the Third Reich
Outcast
* Neverwinter Nights (so long D&D boardgames... one of the best RPGs...)
Hidden & Dangerous 2
Rise of Nations
City of Villians
Master of Orion 2
Sacrifice
+ Sim City 4 (who can resist Sim City games??? With you since your first...)
SWAT 4
* Freespace 2 (The BEST space sim of all time...)
* The Movies (unless you have time and a good script, don't bother, ^_^)
+ Dawn of War (Come on.. Warhammer 40K? Who'd miss that?)
Trackmania Sunrise
* Baldur's Gate 2 (precursor to Neverwinter Nights. Multiple character control though...)
Ghost Recon
Hostile Waters: Antaeus Rising
* Diablo 2 (Who'd resist Blizzard games???)
IL-2 Sturmovik
+ No One Lives Forever (James Bond? Ladies style...)
+ Sid Meier's Pirates (Another game thanks to Raj)
+ Battle for Middle Earth (LotR fans must-buy)
* Quake 3 Arena (story? what story?)
Fallout 2
Darwinia
Guild Wars
+ Halo (Good enough for X-Box, good enough for me)
* Morrowind (First person sword fighting???)
EVE online
* Knight of the Old Republic 2 (RPG + Star Wars... Oh yeah!!!)
Far Cry
* The Sims 2 (censorgridsize=0 anyone? woohoo!!!)
* Alpha Centauri (Where Civilization II space craft landed...)
Gran Prix Legends
* Warcraft 3 (What? no 31 only???)
* Unreal Tournament 2004 (I miss Raj...)
* Counter-Strike (even my sister plays this...)
* F.E.A.R. (Headaches, sleepless nights... hell, still a good game)
V8 Supercars 3
+ Beyond Good and Evil (don't get me wrong, I'm just attracted to the name...)
System Shock 2
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
Battle Realms
+ Age of Mythology (I repeat, I love Greek mythology!)
Chronicles of Riddick
+ Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (ahh, remember the good old platform games?)
* StarCraft (*neuclear launch detected...)
Age of Empires III
+ Half Life (what? I haven't played this game???)
DOOM 3
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Vampire: Bloodlines
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (Wasn't this the game with the ingame porn?)
Thief: Deadly Shadows (again, first person sword fighting??)
GTA: San Andreas
Psychonauts (aww, aren't they cute little things...)
* World of Warcraft (drool...)
Planescape Torment
Call of Duty
+ Civilization IV (some day... some day...)
5
Deus Ex
4
* Rome: Total War (Civ 4 + Battle for Middle Earth...)
3
* Battlefield 2 (The plane is MINE, MINE I tell you!!!)
2
* The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (If only I had better graphics card...)
.
.
.
.
.
1
* Half Life 2 (Best scripted FPS game ever!)
(* played before, + want to play)
From 100...
Space Tripper
Chessmaster 10th Ed
Gothic 2
Star Control 2
Pro Evolution Soccer 5
* Worms World Party (you've played one, you've played it all)
+ Myst 4: Revelation (definite must if you're a fan of the series like me)
+ The Last Express (cartoon aventure... no stressing yourself for good graphic cards)
+ Total Annihilation (can you believe I have not played this one??)
Silent Storm
MVP Baseball 2005
Codename: Panzers Phase 2
Manhunt
* Fahrenheit (good game with multiple storylines to one ending. Tests reflexes more than skill...)
* Zeus (I love greek mythology...)
Live for Speed
X-Com: Enemy Unknown
* The Longest Journey (the BEST adventure game so far... language use was so natural)
Tiger Woods 2005
Anachronox
* Mechwarrior 4: Mercenaries (BATTLETECH!!!)
Mafia
Silent Hunter 3
+ Alien vs Predator (start a face hugger, end an ultimate killing machine)
* Homeworld (takes RTS to the next level with 3D field)
Falcon 4: Allied Force
* Grim Fandango (takes Death to the next level...)
Microsoft Flight Simulator 2004
Grand Prix 4
* C&C Generals (I can never get over them C&C games...)
Lock on: Modern Air Combat
DOOM 2 (Raj probably will kill me for not playing or even wanting to play this)
Football manager 2005
Silent Hill 2 (takes Resident Evil to the next level...)
Planetside
Freedom Force vs the Third Reich
Outcast
* Neverwinter Nights (so long D&D boardgames... one of the best RPGs...)
Hidden & Dangerous 2
Rise of Nations
City of Villians
Master of Orion 2
Sacrifice
+ Sim City 4 (who can resist Sim City games??? With you since your first...)
SWAT 4
* Freespace 2 (The BEST space sim of all time...)
* The Movies (unless you have time and a good script, don't bother, ^_^)
+ Dawn of War (Come on.. Warhammer 40K? Who'd miss that?)
Trackmania Sunrise
* Baldur's Gate 2 (precursor to Neverwinter Nights. Multiple character control though...)
Ghost Recon
Hostile Waters: Antaeus Rising
* Diablo 2 (Who'd resist Blizzard games???)
IL-2 Sturmovik
+ No One Lives Forever (James Bond? Ladies style...)
+ Sid Meier's Pirates (Another game thanks to Raj)
+ Battle for Middle Earth (LotR fans must-buy)
* Quake 3 Arena (story? what story?)
Fallout 2
Darwinia
Guild Wars
+ Halo (Good enough for X-Box, good enough for me)
* Morrowind (First person sword fighting???)
EVE online
* Knight of the Old Republic 2 (RPG + Star Wars... Oh yeah!!!)
Far Cry
* The Sims 2 (censorgridsize=0 anyone? woohoo!!!)
* Alpha Centauri (Where Civilization II space craft landed...)
Gran Prix Legends
* Warcraft 3 (What? no 31 only???)
* Unreal Tournament 2004 (I miss Raj...)
* Counter-Strike (even my sister plays this...)
* F.E.A.R. (Headaches, sleepless nights... hell, still a good game)
V8 Supercars 3
+ Beyond Good and Evil (don't get me wrong, I'm just attracted to the name...)
System Shock 2
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
Battle Realms
+ Age of Mythology (I repeat, I love Greek mythology!)
Chronicles of Riddick
+ Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (ahh, remember the good old platform games?)
* StarCraft (*neuclear launch detected...)
Age of Empires III
+ Half Life (what? I haven't played this game???)
DOOM 3
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Vampire: Bloodlines
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (Wasn't this the game with the ingame porn?)
Thief: Deadly Shadows (again, first person sword fighting??)
GTA: San Andreas
Psychonauts (aww, aren't they cute little things...)
* World of Warcraft (drool...)
Planescape Torment
Call of Duty
+ Civilization IV (some day... some day...)
5
Deus Ex
4
* Rome: Total War (Civ 4 + Battle for Middle Earth...)
3
* Battlefield 2 (The plane is MINE, MINE I tell you!!!)
2
* The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (If only I had better graphics card...)
.
.
.
.
.
1
* Half Life 2 (Best scripted FPS game ever!)
Friday, May 26, 2006
I went again to see this marvelous show. STOMP really defines me and my character. I like everything about it. I am everything out of it.
Percussion: I was only in the percussion section for 1 1/2 years, but it has affected me greatly. I still remember how I handled the drum with lots of beads in it, to make sounds of the waves in Song of Sailor and Sea... I remember I had to play the bass guitar in I remember I had to play many instruments myself and any mistake I make would be made known to all... I was never a solo player. But I actually learnt to be confident with myself and go all out. Confidence is what I still lack, but I will slowly get there. Slowly.
Percussion also made known to me the wonders of rhythm. I grew to love rhythms more and more and the deep resonating hums of the drums always get me going. It reminds me of the 'lub-dub' sounds that keeps us alive. I love the necessary accessory sounds, which gives the piece a sparkle and liveliness...
Dance: Another form of activity in which I enjoy doing. I have not danced in a while... and watching STOMP brings back many memories, from my first attemps from watching Backstreet Boys', 5ive's, and N'sync's music video back in secondary school, to Orientation in NJC, to cheerleading times in IMU. I wish I could learn more, I wish I could do more.
Trash: I love trash. One man's wine is another man's poison. Or rather, another man's poison is my wine. I keep everything, and my mother always complains that I keep all these junk. But I never like throwing things out, coz everything I see has some purpose. You will never know when you just might need the use of a paper cup or straws. Straws I make into flowers. Cups I make into... cups. but you catch my drift... In STOMP, everythings can be made into music. Throw in a few trash cans, some brooms, some basket balls and heck, even the kitchen sink, and you will have an orchestra of wonderful noise.
Comedy: Everyone needs comedy. But it is something that does not come by practise. You can try, like me, but if you have it, you have it. If you don't, sometimes it's hard. I was always in company of person who has interesting and funny things to say or do. And I've always enjoyed a good laugh. I love watching comedies, reading sarcastic wit, and just acting crazy. Everyone loves humour. Laughter is contagious, and it is the best medicine.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
The Final Cut 
As I watched the movie, I can't help but think of the Private and Confidential part that doctors do. Only the Cutter would know the whole story. The whole life story.
A Zoe implant is placed even before birth, into the brain. It records EVERYTHING that the person sees and hears, and so it records everything the person does. Memories can be preserved, like the first step, first word, first day of school, first kiss, first sex... Loved ones would want to have that lasting memory of that person, so that he or she can be remembered as that.
Here comes the tricky part. In the show itself, there are many Anti-zoe groups out there. They oppose the technology and with many viewpoints. Some say memories are meant to fade, some say the Rememory doesn't show who the person really is, and some say that the memory is personal. This POV of having a personal life is where the P&C the doctors do.
The Zoe Chip takes away your personal life, revealing all of your secrets and wrong doings. But with that in mind, a person can change, only doing the right thing to look good. Can you really be a saint when you do good things? Of course there must be the part about needing to be good in the heart first. I feel that the goodness of the deed is based on the purity of the heart. I used to think that I do things for the sake of doing them, not for fame or fortune. But I realized that it was not because my heart is pure either. Why do I keep helping people out and forsaking my own life? Why did I say yes to make the IMU Cup banner? Why have I taken that burden that will affect my future? I’ve done it all my life and I have become like a mindless drone that will do everything that he’s told.
Even if I had a Zoe chip, I doubt that my intensions can be seen. Of course there would be secrets that I do not want people to know, things that I’ve done, crimes I’ve committed. I still remember the time I threw away the milk powder so that I can buy a new tin of milk just to get a wooden skeleton of a dinosaur. I remember the time I stomped on my friend’s bag to act like a bully.
And of course I want to see the fun times as well, like memories of my grandfather singing to me when I was little, of my grandmother playing mahjong with me, of my siblings ‘Happy Club’ with our anthem and shows… These are memories that made me happy.
Back to about the movie, these scenes are viewed by the cutter and made into a ‘Rememory’ for all the deceased’s loved ones. Your spouse, your siblings, your children, and maybe your parents, would want to see and remember you by. A cutter’s job is to view a person’s life and summarize it. A cutter sees it all, and other people will get to see life through the deceased’s eyes. It’s something more personal than a dairy, a journal, a blog.
A doctor takes a patient’s history, and it all goes into a P&C folder. Both the cutter and doctor would know things that other people would never know, like a trip to the prostitute den, a secret trip to Africa, a time with stupid drug addict friends, an illness that could jeopardize your career, or the real reason why you are limping.
How does the cutter or doctor live with that kind of information? How does one react when he meets with a fellow criminal, or the girl he’s having an affair with, or knowledge of secrets nobody needs to know? For Alan (Robbin Williams), he edits with no feelings. He can’t have any. It’s the same with House, having emotions mixed in will tear a person apart. There is only so much that a person can handle. But without those feelings, wouldn’t the person seem less human? In the movie, Alan had a secret past, in which he sorts to forgiving other people for their wrong doings. He takes out memories, in hope that someone would take that memory of his out as well. And with such secretive information that both doctors and cutters have, not only do they have to experience the emotions that come with it, but also to guard that information with their lives.
All these from a 1 hour and 40 minutes show…
As I watched the movie, I can't help but think of the Private and Confidential part that doctors do. Only the Cutter would know the whole story. The whole life story.
A Zoe implant is placed even before birth, into the brain. It records EVERYTHING that the person sees and hears, and so it records everything the person does. Memories can be preserved, like the first step, first word, first day of school, first kiss, first sex... Loved ones would want to have that lasting memory of that person, so that he or she can be remembered as that.
Here comes the tricky part. In the show itself, there are many Anti-zoe groups out there. They oppose the technology and with many viewpoints. Some say memories are meant to fade, some say the Rememory doesn't show who the person really is, and some say that the memory is personal. This POV of having a personal life is where the P&C the doctors do.
The Zoe Chip takes away your personal life, revealing all of your secrets and wrong doings. But with that in mind, a person can change, only doing the right thing to look good. Can you really be a saint when you do good things? Of course there must be the part about needing to be good in the heart first. I feel that the goodness of the deed is based on the purity of the heart. I used to think that I do things for the sake of doing them, not for fame or fortune. But I realized that it was not because my heart is pure either. Why do I keep helping people out and forsaking my own life? Why did I say yes to make the IMU Cup banner? Why have I taken that burden that will affect my future? I’ve done it all my life and I have become like a mindless drone that will do everything that he’s told.
Even if I had a Zoe chip, I doubt that my intensions can be seen. Of course there would be secrets that I do not want people to know, things that I’ve done, crimes I’ve committed. I still remember the time I threw away the milk powder so that I can buy a new tin of milk just to get a wooden skeleton of a dinosaur. I remember the time I stomped on my friend’s bag to act like a bully.
And of course I want to see the fun times as well, like memories of my grandfather singing to me when I was little, of my grandmother playing mahjong with me, of my siblings ‘Happy Club’ with our anthem and shows… These are memories that made me happy.
Back to about the movie, these scenes are viewed by the cutter and made into a ‘Rememory’ for all the deceased’s loved ones. Your spouse, your siblings, your children, and maybe your parents, would want to see and remember you by. A cutter’s job is to view a person’s life and summarize it. A cutter sees it all, and other people will get to see life through the deceased’s eyes. It’s something more personal than a dairy, a journal, a blog.
A doctor takes a patient’s history, and it all goes into a P&C folder. Both the cutter and doctor would know things that other people would never know, like a trip to the prostitute den, a secret trip to Africa, a time with stupid drug addict friends, an illness that could jeopardize your career, or the real reason why you are limping.
How does the cutter or doctor live with that kind of information? How does one react when he meets with a fellow criminal, or the girl he’s having an affair with, or knowledge of secrets nobody needs to know? For Alan (Robbin Williams), he edits with no feelings. He can’t have any. It’s the same with House, having emotions mixed in will tear a person apart. There is only so much that a person can handle. But without those feelings, wouldn’t the person seem less human? In the movie, Alan had a secret past, in which he sorts to forgiving other people for their wrong doings. He takes out memories, in hope that someone would take that memory of his out as well. And with such secretive information that both doctors and cutters have, not only do they have to experience the emotions that come with it, but also to guard that information with their lives.
All these from a 1 hour and 40 minutes show…
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Year 5
This isn't really about studying in Singapore, but I was still in Singapore at this time. I applied to be a house tutor, which basically puts me in higher than the block head. I don't have to study, but I have to tend to the welfare of the boarders. I had to do my share of administrative matters in exchange for a free stay in Boarding. And of course I needed to support myself to LIVE in Singapore, so I set out to find work.
I went to where my seniors used to work, as they had a fun time working there and earn close to a thousand dollars a month. So I decided to work there, but all didn't turn out well. The management had already got their business running and not keen on temporary workers. My seniors had a fun time because they helped the business from it's opening days. Everyone was learning with each other and enjoyed everything together. But now, they were quite established and had difficulty training us new people.
Most of my hours were concentrated on giving out flyers at the nearby escalator. Whenever they had a slow business day, our manager would come to me and observe and critique the way I did the promotion. He would "show me the way to do things" and when the business starts getting busy, he headed back and I continued the distribution. It irritated me at first, but I had to learn. I enjoyed giving out flyers. On the one hand, I didn't have to wait on tables, but I had to stand there without a chair for ages and ages, until they decided that the traffic is too slow or the business is roaring.
There were other restaurants in the area and their employees also had their share of distributing flyers. I made a few friends that way. We just stood there, giving out flyers talking to the potential customers, and occasionally chatted with each other. Some of them were like me, waiting for their A-level results and some were still studying.
Every morning, I was there at 11am to clean up the tables and laying out the utensils. When people came, I took down orders and served them drinks. Got ready the appetisers and served them. I distributed flyers. It was MONOTONOUS yet so many things that I could not adapt to. We all had some degree of scolding, and we adjusted from time and time. We learnt new things and were thought more difficult tasks. At the end of the day, we packed up the utensils and I had to throw away the rubbish. That was my day.
When my results came back, I decided to quit. To look for other jobs. And at that time, there was the SARS outbreak. The highest paying job at that time was the medical screening in schools as it was a high risk job. My friend and I took it. We made lots, just for that few weeks. And that was my last job. The money that I earned lasted until mid-May. After that, I was living off my parent's money. I failed.
Also, after the results, we had to apply for our university courses. I wanted to do medic, or at least dentistry. And given my history of interviews, I screwed everything up again. I got Engineering. I was offered the ASEAN scholarship. I could stay in Boarding for free and get free studies PLUS allowance. (my friend, Jonathan took my place instead and is enjoying what I could have...) But I chose to do Medicine instead.
So here I am, back in Malaysia. In IMU. Studying medicine.
Thus ends my career and life in Singapore... I still think back and really feel distant from all my friends that I have made then... I miss them all...
Cheerio.
This isn't really about studying in Singapore, but I was still in Singapore at this time. I applied to be a house tutor, which basically puts me in higher than the block head. I don't have to study, but I have to tend to the welfare of the boarders. I had to do my share of administrative matters in exchange for a free stay in Boarding. And of course I needed to support myself to LIVE in Singapore, so I set out to find work.
I went to where my seniors used to work, as they had a fun time working there and earn close to a thousand dollars a month. So I decided to work there, but all didn't turn out well. The management had already got their business running and not keen on temporary workers. My seniors had a fun time because they helped the business from it's opening days. Everyone was learning with each other and enjoyed everything together. But now, they were quite established and had difficulty training us new people.
Most of my hours were concentrated on giving out flyers at the nearby escalator. Whenever they had a slow business day, our manager would come to me and observe and critique the way I did the promotion. He would "show me the way to do things" and when the business starts getting busy, he headed back and I continued the distribution. It irritated me at first, but I had to learn. I enjoyed giving out flyers. On the one hand, I didn't have to wait on tables, but I had to stand there without a chair for ages and ages, until they decided that the traffic is too slow or the business is roaring.
There were other restaurants in the area and their employees also had their share of distributing flyers. I made a few friends that way. We just stood there, giving out flyers talking to the potential customers, and occasionally chatted with each other. Some of them were like me, waiting for their A-level results and some were still studying.
Every morning, I was there at 11am to clean up the tables and laying out the utensils. When people came, I took down orders and served them drinks. Got ready the appetisers and served them. I distributed flyers. It was MONOTONOUS yet so many things that I could not adapt to. We all had some degree of scolding, and we adjusted from time and time. We learnt new things and were thought more difficult tasks. At the end of the day, we packed up the utensils and I had to throw away the rubbish. That was my day.
When my results came back, I decided to quit. To look for other jobs. And at that time, there was the SARS outbreak. The highest paying job at that time was the medical screening in schools as it was a high risk job. My friend and I took it. We made lots, just for that few weeks. And that was my last job. The money that I earned lasted until mid-May. After that, I was living off my parent's money. I failed.
Also, after the results, we had to apply for our university courses. I wanted to do medic, or at least dentistry. And given my history of interviews, I screwed everything up again. I got Engineering. I was offered the ASEAN scholarship. I could stay in Boarding for free and get free studies PLUS allowance. (my friend, Jonathan took my place instead and is enjoying what I could have...) But I chose to do Medicine instead.
So here I am, back in Malaysia. In IMU. Studying medicine.
Thus ends my career and life in Singapore... I still think back and really feel distant from all my friends that I have made then... I miss them all...
Cheerio.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Year 4
Another new year brings in many new faces, again in Boarding, in the ASEAN community and in the Band. Another batch of juniors to teach you new things and people who will look up to you. A new year is a time to meet new people and make more friends.
I've never felt so lost before. Now I am the super senior, nobody I can turn to except the adults and myself. At this time, I needed my friends more than anything, to confide in and to share my feelings with. Juniors and friends turning to me too. This was the time that I felt so close to people, yet still distant from everyone.
My studies were affected. I failed a few more subjects and I didn't understand the lessons. I slept in lectures and didn't do my tutorials. Comparing this final crucial year with when I first came, this was a different me. I was becoming lazy and over-confident, yet worried about everything. I failed in Biology and Chemistry, and yet excelled in Maths. My english was improving, but will never be good. Imagine speaking the language all your life and it being your forte, I reallised I will never be as good as they wanted us to be.
I had to study, I knew I just had to start, but I was getting distracted easily. I could never find the will power to start. I could tell everyone to study and buck up, but I could never do it myself. I relied very much on friends to keep me out of the depressing state. I really miss them. I felt stronger when I'm with them. There are also times when I would crawl to my friend's room and sleep with them, instead of my own bed.
Towards the end of the year, we all had to step down from our CCAs. I felt more lost when I had to step down from the Band. I was no longer playing the anthem and school song. I no longer had to meet in the Band room. I was to queue up with the rest of my class and that felt weird. Change. Change feels funny. Change needs to get use to.
Finally, there were the A-Levels...
...working in Singapore
Another new year brings in many new faces, again in Boarding, in the ASEAN community and in the Band. Another batch of juniors to teach you new things and people who will look up to you. A new year is a time to meet new people and make more friends.
I've never felt so lost before. Now I am the super senior, nobody I can turn to except the adults and myself. At this time, I needed my friends more than anything, to confide in and to share my feelings with. Juniors and friends turning to me too. This was the time that I felt so close to people, yet still distant from everyone.
My studies were affected. I failed a few more subjects and I didn't understand the lessons. I slept in lectures and didn't do my tutorials. Comparing this final crucial year with when I first came, this was a different me. I was becoming lazy and over-confident, yet worried about everything. I failed in Biology and Chemistry, and yet excelled in Maths. My english was improving, but will never be good. Imagine speaking the language all your life and it being your forte, I reallised I will never be as good as they wanted us to be.
I had to study, I knew I just had to start, but I was getting distracted easily. I could never find the will power to start. I could tell everyone to study and buck up, but I could never do it myself. I relied very much on friends to keep me out of the depressing state. I really miss them. I felt stronger when I'm with them. There are also times when I would crawl to my friend's room and sleep with them, instead of my own bed.
Towards the end of the year, we all had to step down from our CCAs. I felt more lost when I had to step down from the Band. I was no longer playing the anthem and school song. I no longer had to meet in the Band room. I was to queue up with the rest of my class and that felt weird. Change. Change feels funny. Change needs to get use to.
Finally, there were the A-Levels...
...working in Singapore
Monday, July 11, 2005
Year 3
From the first school in Singapore, to the first Junior College in Singapore...
As I mentioned, I chose to come to National Junior College for the wrong reason. And I was left all alone with no seniors, no friends to tag along. My first day was scary, but I put on a little courage and instantly made a new friend, Jason Wong. I wonder where he is now... He gave me a really interesting point about Singapore's education system. It's a vicious circle, the better gets better and the unfortunate will never prosper. The best students get where the best schools and become better, where as the slower ones will never get as good teachers. I wanted to be a big fish in a small pond, and regarded NJC as a lesser JC, but for others, this was their first choice. This was the best choice. I had to rethink my arrogance...
Anyway, since I was also in the thrill seeking and experience finding mood, I joined the Symphonic Band. In the middle of last year, I began an interest in music, mostly movie themes, and decided to take it further by joining the Band. This wasn't a good year to join as there was a competition and I had to choose between getting an award or to learn something new. I got the award, but only a Silver. I missed the chance of learning something new. But I was posted in the Percussion Section and soo, I was banging here and there on the instruments. Percussionist were usually unnoticed, but the things they play were mostly SOLO acts. Many things happened and I did get the experience I wanted.
I tried to pick up my interest in helping others, but I could not join the Interact Club there. I just didn't have the time nor the will to do it. It was disappointing. Another reason why I tried to join the Interact Club, was to at least get a leadership position to boost my record. But I couldn't get it.
I also tried my luck with the Student Council and the House Reps. I failed very badly and didn't get through the interviews. Have I told you that I do not do well in interviews? The only interview I know I did well was the one that got me into IMU. Not even the one that got me into the top school in Singapore. Anyway. I didn't get ANY roles at all. The Band took up all my time and with late night practices, the Band Room became my second home. Third actually, considering my second home was Boarding.
Speaking of Boarding, I had to give up my post to the secondary school students and they gave me the role of treasurer. I screwed up that post too.
I had to switch classes after my O-Level results, and that lost me my Class Rep status too. Anyway, with all the switching around, the only friends that I could turn to was the ASEAN scholars. At first, I was the only one in my class, and the only one from Boarding. When I switched class, there was another 2 of them, and now I could get information of outings. And I enjoyed the outings. I can't really say that I bonded well with them, as I was also a part of my Band, Class, and Boarding. I'm everywhere but no where.
The year was a disappointing year, and my arrogance was finally shattered. I am no longer the best and can never be the best. There are people better than me and I can only struggle to keep up.
But for the best of it, I had a support of good friends...
...to be continued in the most stressful time of my life
From the first school in Singapore, to the first Junior College in Singapore...
As I mentioned, I chose to come to National Junior College for the wrong reason. And I was left all alone with no seniors, no friends to tag along. My first day was scary, but I put on a little courage and instantly made a new friend, Jason Wong. I wonder where he is now... He gave me a really interesting point about Singapore's education system. It's a vicious circle, the better gets better and the unfortunate will never prosper. The best students get where the best schools and become better, where as the slower ones will never get as good teachers. I wanted to be a big fish in a small pond, and regarded NJC as a lesser JC, but for others, this was their first choice. This was the best choice. I had to rethink my arrogance...
Anyway, since I was also in the thrill seeking and experience finding mood, I joined the Symphonic Band. In the middle of last year, I began an interest in music, mostly movie themes, and decided to take it further by joining the Band. This wasn't a good year to join as there was a competition and I had to choose between getting an award or to learn something new. I got the award, but only a Silver. I missed the chance of learning something new. But I was posted in the Percussion Section and soo, I was banging here and there on the instruments. Percussionist were usually unnoticed, but the things they play were mostly SOLO acts. Many things happened and I did get the experience I wanted.
I tried to pick up my interest in helping others, but I could not join the Interact Club there. I just didn't have the time nor the will to do it. It was disappointing. Another reason why I tried to join the Interact Club, was to at least get a leadership position to boost my record. But I couldn't get it.
I also tried my luck with the Student Council and the House Reps. I failed very badly and didn't get through the interviews. Have I told you that I do not do well in interviews? The only interview I know I did well was the one that got me into IMU. Not even the one that got me into the top school in Singapore. Anyway. I didn't get ANY roles at all. The Band took up all my time and with late night practices, the Band Room became my second home. Third actually, considering my second home was Boarding.
Speaking of Boarding, I had to give up my post to the secondary school students and they gave me the role of treasurer. I screwed up that post too.
I had to switch classes after my O-Level results, and that lost me my Class Rep status too. Anyway, with all the switching around, the only friends that I could turn to was the ASEAN scholars. At first, I was the only one in my class, and the only one from Boarding. When I switched class, there was another 2 of them, and now I could get information of outings. And I enjoyed the outings. I can't really say that I bonded well with them, as I was also a part of my Band, Class, and Boarding. I'm everywhere but no where.
The year was a disappointing year, and my arrogance was finally shattered. I am no longer the best and can never be the best. There are people better than me and I can only struggle to keep up.
But for the best of it, I had a support of good friends...
...to be continued in the most stressful time of my life
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Year 2
The year started out great. I was appointed to be the vice chairperson of the Block. I used to doubt my leadership skills as I was the teacher's son before in Malaysia, and everything was because my father and mother are well known in the town. But now, on my own accord, I see how much a leader I really am. Our first task for the term was to organise the formal dinner in my boarding, and to show the video that we started producing last year.
Apart from that, as a house senior, we had to come up with various duty rosters and other administration stuff. As house seniors also, juniors started comnig up to us for help. I really felt like I have grown up...
Also, I was elected as the class Treasurer, another time where my leadership skills were tested. I get a new collar pin, and I was proud of it. So I decided I needed more pins and joined other clubs so that I can get the pins. Another club which I joined was the Archives club. OK, it was mostly becuase of my friend, Teddy. He was a prefect and president of the club. He was also in the track team and plays badminton. HE was a leader, and RI produces them.
Despite the Exam year, I was getting busier and busier. Apart from the things I already joined, I joined the Raffles Players (a drama club). I really felt like expanding my interests and broaden my experiences. There were so many things that I wanted to do, but there was just too little time.
Towards the end of the year, everything that I did paid off... Although I was disappointed because I couldn't become a committee member of any club, I still worked hard in the Interact Club, and in the end, I was awarded the Interactor Award. I am not bragging, but that was how much I did charity work and I miss having that feeling of doing good.
The Trial Exams were tough. I failed a subject. I had to go through a crash course and had to study extra hard. With the help of friends, I managed to pull it through.
Another hard time was the decision of which Junior College to go to. All I can say is that I may have choosen on the wrong reason. This was the saying that was told to everyone, "To be a big fish in a small pond, or a small fish in a big pond." I chose the former.
And that was it. My most Exciting, Thrilling, Fulfiling, Wonderful year of my life.
And from the next year onwards, it will be a rollercoster ride of emotions...
...and on to the next year
O-levels came at last and this was my first MAJOR exam.
The year started out great. I was appointed to be the vice chairperson of the Block. I used to doubt my leadership skills as I was the teacher's son before in Malaysia, and everything was because my father and mother are well known in the town. But now, on my own accord, I see how much a leader I really am. Our first task for the term was to organise the formal dinner in my boarding, and to show the video that we started producing last year.
Apart from that, as a house senior, we had to come up with various duty rosters and other administration stuff. As house seniors also, juniors started comnig up to us for help. I really felt like I have grown up...
Also, I was elected as the class Treasurer, another time where my leadership skills were tested. I get a new collar pin, and I was proud of it. So I decided I needed more pins and joined other clubs so that I can get the pins. Another club which I joined was the Archives club. OK, it was mostly becuase of my friend, Teddy. He was a prefect and president of the club. He was also in the track team and plays badminton. HE was a leader, and RI produces them.
Despite the Exam year, I was getting busier and busier. Apart from the things I already joined, I joined the Raffles Players (a drama club). I really felt like expanding my interests and broaden my experiences. There were so many things that I wanted to do, but there was just too little time.
Towards the end of the year, everything that I did paid off... Although I was disappointed because I couldn't become a committee member of any club, I still worked hard in the Interact Club, and in the end, I was awarded the Interactor Award. I am not bragging, but that was how much I did charity work and I miss having that feeling of doing good.
The Trial Exams were tough. I failed a subject. I had to go through a crash course and had to study extra hard. With the help of friends, I managed to pull it through.
Another hard time was the decision of which Junior College to go to. All I can say is that I may have choosen on the wrong reason. This was the saying that was told to everyone, "To be a big fish in a small pond, or a small fish in a big pond." I chose the former.
And that was it. My most Exciting, Thrilling, Fulfiling, Wonderful year of my life.
And from the next year onwards, it will be a rollercoster ride of emotions...
...and on to the next year
O-levels came at last and this was my first MAJOR exam.
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