For the first time, I noticed that the horizon was curved. Maybe it was the refraction caused by the multiple layers of the airplane window, or the effect of the sun setting right in the middle of my view, or maybe it was the fact that I was flying 5000m in the air. Whatever the case, the view was magnificent.
Only a thin redish glow across the horizon served as a reminder where the sun laid down to rest, the sky darkening above it as the night creeps in. There was a clear demarkation between the dark blue of the Indian Ocean and the diminishing warmph of the now orange sky, highlighting the curved horizon.
With some srange reason unknown to me, I was captivated by the scene as we flew further south.
We have always been taught that the Earth was spherical. Early astronomers and physicists were rediculed and condemned for postulating such theories. The world, then, was flat, and was at the centre of the universe. I can only imagine the ramifications will be if the scriptures of the holy books mentions that the Earth was indead the centre of the universe. Perhaps religion would fail back there and then.
The curved horison reminded me that Science prevailed that round, in the never ending debate between the delusions of evangelists and the dreams of scientists. I do not claim that science and religion are exclusive, but there are real grey areas which are stil being debated today, like evolution and creation of the universe.
I guess that is the human's need to seek the truth in all things...
Which brings me to a movie we just watched, "The Invention of Lying." What will happen if lying and falsehood and deceit never existed? The movie potrayed a really good example of what the world would be like.
What really got me thinking was, at the same time, the movie can also be called, "The Invention of Religion." The movie mocks the 10 commandments on two pizza boxes, describes the beauty of the afterlife which no one knew, potrays the evolution of procreation beyond genetics, starts the story of making a story, and even shows the delevoping of a conscience... All created from lying.
When did the human race start lying? Would religion come into play if not for lying? How can they believe that an afterlife exists when no one can truly tell us what lies beyond? What would the world really be like if not for lying? Would we even bother about seeking the truth about all things or would be just take everything for granted as it is?
It was a really good movie for my mind to watch right before the new year.
Happy New Year, everyone.
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Friday, January 01, 2010
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
The Tides
I refrain from using the word "roller coaster" to describe how I have been these past few weeks, and instead, I am using "the Tides" as my title. Partly because I couldn't spell the word 'coaster' but also because I think I was stagnant and it was not a ride.
I finished my final exam exactly 1 month ago. For the others, it was the last exam they will ever have. For me, it was just the beginning of the end. It was the beginning of the long train of goodbyes, people leaving me as they head off for their well earned holidays. This is why I cannot use 'roller coaster' as I am the one stationary and others are zooming around me. The exam was hellish, one of the more difficult exams I've been through... But eventually, I got the good news the week after with the phone call.
I've dreaded phone calls for a long time, especially since I failed my 5th year the first time round, and recieving 2 calls saying that I failed. This phone call was not as bad, and was more of good news to me. I already knew that I had to resit a couple of assessments long ago, and it was not a surprise to me. Even more good news was that I only had to do 2 weeks instead of the 4 weeks as planned previously. This would mean that I could have some time to have a short holiday. I have to say, though I still fear phone calls, I enjoyed recieving that one.
After that, there was the Dedication ceremony. That was goodbye to many of my friends, many of which I would probably never see ever again apart from the Convocation next year. I could not dedicate with them, I could not be up there to hear my name called, I could not be proud to have my parents in the crowd to cheer me on. I had to rush to obtain as many friends' signatures as possible, and in the process forgot to spend time with the people that mattered the most to me. It was a happy occasion, but it was a really sad day for me then, very emotional... I almost cried...
The following Monday, I started my remediation. Again it was many ups and downs. Scared by the consultant and got grilled, but had a good time in the wards. A different consultant marked my assessments, which gave me better marks than I expected, but I had to show my log book and got grilled again. I was pretty broken at the end of it though. But I got through.
I finally made it. I finally graduated from 6 1/2 years of Med School. The relief was overwhelming. I was happy that I have passed. I was nervous of starting afresh in Adelaide.
That was a Friday... and I had no hopes of getting home early. And I grew sad that I could not meet up with my friends in Singapore. I grew sad that I had said goodbye to everyone, especially to those whom I will really really miss. I miss them already...
Friday, they promised that I would get the documents ready on Monday. But Monday, the deans were busy with the 5th years' results. Tuesday, they still were busy... I was already half annoyed by then... But they finally gave me a call at lunch time and had it all prepared for me. And that was it. I was done. Officially, with documents and all, I was done.
I finally could book my flight home and pack all my things.
My life in Perth could fit in 4 boxes.
That was my 'ride'. So many ups and downs, more than what I could fit in here. Ironically I felt stagnant, like the tides, rising and falling throughout the day. I stay there, watching things come, and friends go. I never liked saying goodbye, and I said it more often tham I would have liked. I am really going to miss all of you. I am emotionally drained, but the burden have finally been lifted off my aching shoulders. A chapter ends, and another one begins.
I finished my final exam exactly 1 month ago. For the others, it was the last exam they will ever have. For me, it was just the beginning of the end. It was the beginning of the long train of goodbyes, people leaving me as they head off for their well earned holidays. This is why I cannot use 'roller coaster' as I am the one stationary and others are zooming around me. The exam was hellish, one of the more difficult exams I've been through... But eventually, I got the good news the week after with the phone call.
I've dreaded phone calls for a long time, especially since I failed my 5th year the first time round, and recieving 2 calls saying that I failed. This phone call was not as bad, and was more of good news to me. I already knew that I had to resit a couple of assessments long ago, and it was not a surprise to me. Even more good news was that I only had to do 2 weeks instead of the 4 weeks as planned previously. This would mean that I could have some time to have a short holiday. I have to say, though I still fear phone calls, I enjoyed recieving that one.
After that, there was the Dedication ceremony. That was goodbye to many of my friends, many of which I would probably never see ever again apart from the Convocation next year. I could not dedicate with them, I could not be up there to hear my name called, I could not be proud to have my parents in the crowd to cheer me on. I had to rush to obtain as many friends' signatures as possible, and in the process forgot to spend time with the people that mattered the most to me. It was a happy occasion, but it was a really sad day for me then, very emotional... I almost cried...
The following Monday, I started my remediation. Again it was many ups and downs. Scared by the consultant and got grilled, but had a good time in the wards. A different consultant marked my assessments, which gave me better marks than I expected, but I had to show my log book and got grilled again. I was pretty broken at the end of it though. But I got through.
I finally made it. I finally graduated from 6 1/2 years of Med School. The relief was overwhelming. I was happy that I have passed. I was nervous of starting afresh in Adelaide.
That was a Friday... and I had no hopes of getting home early. And I grew sad that I could not meet up with my friends in Singapore. I grew sad that I had said goodbye to everyone, especially to those whom I will really really miss. I miss them already...
Friday, they promised that I would get the documents ready on Monday. But Monday, the deans were busy with the 5th years' results. Tuesday, they still were busy... I was already half annoyed by then... But they finally gave me a call at lunch time and had it all prepared for me. And that was it. I was done. Officially, with documents and all, I was done.
I finally could book my flight home and pack all my things.
My life in Perth could fit in 4 boxes.
That was my 'ride'. So many ups and downs, more than what I could fit in here. Ironically I felt stagnant, like the tides, rising and falling throughout the day. I stay there, watching things come, and friends go. I never liked saying goodbye, and I said it more often tham I would have liked. I am really going to miss all of you. I am emotionally drained, but the burden have finally been lifted off my aching shoulders. A chapter ends, and another one begins.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Vivendi ratio, Moriendi ratio, Amandi ratio, Pugnandi ratio
I feel that most apocalyptic movies try to potray different aspects of the end of times, mostly the good human qualities such as honour, justice, heroism, self-sacrifice... But 2012 showed many other real human reactions. Despite the cheesey storyline and exagerated graphics (which were still cool), I acually kind of like it.
How would you handle the end of days? Living life as there is no tomorrow? Drowning yourself in indulgence? Taking your own life to prove that you are stil in control? Doing what is good and right until the end? Congregate en mass in prayer? Make amends with long lost relationsships? Spending every last seconds with someone you love and care about?
What are you willing to do before the end? What are you willing to give in order to survive?
In 2012, they could only save a selected few. Who would you choose? This was like selecting the 23 people for the next Zion in the Matrix. You would want the brightest scientists, best leaders... I would also think they will select workers and fit and healthy people. But in reality, to undertake such a project, they needed so much funding that they have to sell seats to the rich and famous as well. And some of the rich and famous are not nice people... I felt that it became more of a political, business-like situation, which tickles me a lot.
It was so also hilariously iconic to see cameos of famous figures. Imagine a moderately obese lady with in a blue English schoolgirl outfit and matching blue bowler hat, carrying a big typically old lady handbag dragging her 2 Welsh Corgie dogs. Imagine an Autrian sounding blond in front of a podium annoucing to the people of LA that everything is alright.
Anyway, there were also many miniscule plots which at first I thought just wasted time, but actually potrayed these human reactions and added to my experience of the show. They could have done more destruction and less of the adventure stuff in the movie.
There were also many interpretations of the movie which I found interesting. Like how the 3 major developed continents (save Australia); North America, Europe, and Asia were the ones that made it... just like Christopher Columbus and his 3 ships found America... and how they ended up going to Africa, where human life first begin...
Concurrently, this movie just reminds me of my last two weeks here. It was all about goodbyes. I would probably never see any of my friends here in Perth anymore, not for a very long time. I hate to say goodbye to the people I care about. I said too many goodbyes these last two weeks. I am exhausted with all emotions that I have been feeling. I wish that we all can be in same ark, to start our new working lives together... I don't know what I would give to have that.
I will miss all of you...
How would you handle the end of days? Living life as there is no tomorrow? Drowning yourself in indulgence? Taking your own life to prove that you are stil in control? Doing what is good and right until the end? Congregate en mass in prayer? Make amends with long lost relationsships? Spending every last seconds with someone you love and care about?
What are you willing to do before the end? What are you willing to give in order to survive?
In 2012, they could only save a selected few. Who would you choose? This was like selecting the 23 people for the next Zion in the Matrix. You would want the brightest scientists, best leaders... I would also think they will select workers and fit and healthy people. But in reality, to undertake such a project, they needed so much funding that they have to sell seats to the rich and famous as well. And some of the rich and famous are not nice people... I felt that it became more of a political, business-like situation, which tickles me a lot.
It was so also hilariously iconic to see cameos of famous figures. Imagine a moderately obese lady with in a blue English schoolgirl outfit and matching blue bowler hat, carrying a big typically old lady handbag dragging her 2 Welsh Corgie dogs. Imagine an Autrian sounding blond in front of a podium annoucing to the people of LA that everything is alright.
Anyway, there were also many miniscule plots which at first I thought just wasted time, but actually potrayed these human reactions and added to my experience of the show. They could have done more destruction and less of the adventure stuff in the movie.
There were also many interpretations of the movie which I found interesting. Like how the 3 major developed continents (save Australia); North America, Europe, and Asia were the ones that made it... just like Christopher Columbus and his 3 ships found America... and how they ended up going to Africa, where human life first begin...
Concurrently, this movie just reminds me of my last two weeks here. It was all about goodbyes. I would probably never see any of my friends here in Perth anymore, not for a very long time. I hate to say goodbye to the people I care about. I said too many goodbyes these last two weeks. I am exhausted with all emotions that I have been feeling. I wish that we all can be in same ark, to start our new working lives together... I don't know what I would give to have that.
I will miss all of you...
Friday, November 13, 2009
FlashForwards
What if you had a glimpse of your future, down to the very feeling you will be having at that point in time? What if you felt so sure that this ‘future’ you experienced will come true? Would you strive your best to achieve that ‘future’? Or would you do whatever you can to prevent it from coming true? Or would you just let time runs its course?
Is our future set in stone, with every second of our lives already been predetermined? Or does our future change depend on what we do? Does everything we do determine what effect will happen in the future and what we do is an effect of what happened in the past? Is the future then, theoretically calculatable with all the factors, internal and external, considered?
Can time not be a linear progression? Or is it an ever diverging multiverse, creating alternate universes where different scenarios are occurring?
All of these questions arose in my head just by watching the first 10 minutes of the show FlashForward.
Everyone in the world experienced the world in 6 months time, and with all the information gathered, they were painting a mosaic of what it would be like. Everyone could log in, share their experience and affirm what other people have posted, and creating a clear picture of the future.
Sounds easy enough, but what the show constantly debates about is whether this future is the real future or just a possibility of a future, or just a dream... I am intrigued about the idea of time travelling, may it be via a modified Delorean, or a stationary machine with a window for which you can watch time pass you by. However when it comes to the age old paradox of, “If you travelled back through time and killed your grandfather, would you be born to commit such an act?” and “If time travel is possible, why haven’t we seen anyone from the future?” I have a hard time taking a stand.
On the one hand, I like the idea of linearity, everything that will happen, has happened. Getting a visit from a future you means you will be going back to visit in the future. You won’t be able to kill your grandfather no matter what you tried, and your grandfather can tell you of the tale that someone tried to kill him. I like the idea of Chaos Theory, Butterfly Effect, or Ripple Effect, where one small event would have sequential causes and effects which eventually leads us to where we all are now, and will continue to cascade to our futures. It does also get depressing when you think about it, that whatever happened in the future, will happen and there is nothing you can do about it. In other words, whatever you have done or are doing, it will lead up to that future.
On the other hand, I wish that time travelling can happen, so that we can ascertain the truth about what happened in the past. Is the earth really 6 billion years old? Did the chicken come first? Did Sam really steal my crayon? I also wish that I can travel to the future, just for curiosity.
The closest possible technology I can think of to allow time travelling is cryonics. Of course it doesn’t work the other way around…
Anyway, it doesn’t stop me from wanting to know my future in 6 months time, even if it is just for 2 minutes and 17 seconds.
May this series fare better light than Lost is now…
Is our future set in stone, with every second of our lives already been predetermined? Or does our future change depend on what we do? Does everything we do determine what effect will happen in the future and what we do is an effect of what happened in the past? Is the future then, theoretically calculatable with all the factors, internal and external, considered?
Can time not be a linear progression? Or is it an ever diverging multiverse, creating alternate universes where different scenarios are occurring?
All of these questions arose in my head just by watching the first 10 minutes of the show FlashForward.
Everyone in the world experienced the world in 6 months time, and with all the information gathered, they were painting a mosaic of what it would be like. Everyone could log in, share their experience and affirm what other people have posted, and creating a clear picture of the future.
Sounds easy enough, but what the show constantly debates about is whether this future is the real future or just a possibility of a future, or just a dream... I am intrigued about the idea of time travelling, may it be via a modified Delorean, or a stationary machine with a window for which you can watch time pass you by. However when it comes to the age old paradox of, “If you travelled back through time and killed your grandfather, would you be born to commit such an act?” and “If time travel is possible, why haven’t we seen anyone from the future?” I have a hard time taking a stand.
On the one hand, I like the idea of linearity, everything that will happen, has happened. Getting a visit from a future you means you will be going back to visit in the future. You won’t be able to kill your grandfather no matter what you tried, and your grandfather can tell you of the tale that someone tried to kill him. I like the idea of Chaos Theory, Butterfly Effect, or Ripple Effect, where one small event would have sequential causes and effects which eventually leads us to where we all are now, and will continue to cascade to our futures. It does also get depressing when you think about it, that whatever happened in the future, will happen and there is nothing you can do about it. In other words, whatever you have done or are doing, it will lead up to that future.
On the other hand, I wish that time travelling can happen, so that we can ascertain the truth about what happened in the past. Is the earth really 6 billion years old? Did the chicken come first? Did Sam really steal my crayon? I also wish that I can travel to the future, just for curiosity.
The closest possible technology I can think of to allow time travelling is cryonics. Of course it doesn’t work the other way around…
Anyway, it doesn’t stop me from wanting to know my future in 6 months time, even if it is just for 2 minutes and 17 seconds.
May this series fare better light than Lost is now…
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Exams
I used to know a lot of things. I even called myself ‘Jack of all Trades, Master or None,’ because I know a little about everything, but nothing more than that. I cannot claim something to be my forte. But even now, I cannot claim the title of ‘Jack.’
Of course I haven’t been reading as much as I used to, indulging myself in trivial entertainment. There is simply too much to know about everything. I am guessing that there is more studying needed to know a little about everything than to study a particular subject.
Which brings me to the point, I need to study. My exams are just a few days away.
Anyways, it is not stopping me from planning for after exam activities, which mainly include visual entertainment. This is a list of movies that are I want to watch (in no particular order):
the informant
daybreakers
astroboy
up in the air
from paris with love
a christmas carol
alice in wonderland
couples retreat
9
did you hear about the morgans
transylmania
fame
fantastic mr fox
the vampire's assistant
pandorum
avatar
cloudy with a chance of meatballs
new moon
one good man
adventures of power
julie and julia
blind date
white on rice
peter and vandy
inception
gentlemen broncos
the boys are back
pretty ugly people
the box
gamer
armored
the men who stared at goats
the lovely bones
the blind side
the wolfman
untitled
the forth kind
youth in revolt
brief interviews with hideious men
how to seduce difficult women
book of eli
toy story 3
law abiding citizen
precious
black dynamite
you cant handle the tooth
oh my god
invictus
bad lieutenant
serious moonlight
the flying scissors
valentine's day
humble pie
uncertainty
the imaginarium of doctor parnassus
takers
the messenger
that evening sun
stan helsing
bull
amelia
splinterheadsthe road
everybody's fine
motherhood
love
Now, back to studying.
Of course I haven’t been reading as much as I used to, indulging myself in trivial entertainment. There is simply too much to know about everything. I am guessing that there is more studying needed to know a little about everything than to study a particular subject.
Which brings me to the point, I need to study. My exams are just a few days away.
Anyways, it is not stopping me from planning for after exam activities, which mainly include visual entertainment. This is a list of movies that are I want to watch (in no particular order):
the informant
daybreakers
astroboy
up in the air
from paris with love
a christmas carol
alice in wonderland
couples retreat
9
did you hear about the morgans
transylmania
fame
fantastic mr fox
the vampire's assistant
pandorum
avatar
cloudy with a chance of meatballs
new moon
one good man
adventures of power
julie and julia
blind date
white on rice
peter and vandy
inception
gentlemen broncos
the boys are back
pretty ugly people
the box
gamer
armored
the men who stared at goats
the lovely bones
the blind side
the wolfman
untitled
the forth kind
youth in revolt
brief interviews with hideious men
how to seduce difficult women
book of eli
toy story 3
law abiding citizen
precious
black dynamite
you cant handle the tooth
oh my god
invictus
bad lieutenant
serious moonlight
the flying scissors
valentine's day
humble pie
uncertainty
the imaginarium of doctor parnassus
takers
the messenger
that evening sun
stan helsing
bull
amelia
splinterheadsthe road
everybody's fine
motherhood
love
Now, back to studying.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Its better to have love lost, than to have never loved at all... BUT...
Should I smile because you're my friend? Or cry because that is all we will ever be?
There are times when I can't decide whether to see you or not, I want to see you because I miss you but there are times when I don't want to see you because everytime I do, the fact that you don't see me the way that I see you hurts me even more...
A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried.
Forget the times you walked by,
Forget the times you've made me cry,
Forget the time you held my hand,
Forget the sweet things if I can,
I can no longer pretend,
I have to remember now that you're just a friend.
When I look at you my heart skips a beat but later that beat could mean a lifetime of tears wasted on something I knew I could never have
How can you be friends with someone if every time you look at them it makes you want them even more?
My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now is in pieces because of you
Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does.
Even when I pour my heart out to you, I'm not sure it shows, that I love you more than you'll ever know.
Sometimes it's hard to love someone because you're so afraid of losing them
I was reborn when you first kissed me. Part of me died when you left me. But now I still live, waiting for the day you return to me.
The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.
There is one pain I often feel which you will never know because it is caused by the absence of you.
Who do you turn to when the only person who can stop you from crying is the one who is making you cry?
I understand that with loves comes pain, but why did I have to love so much?
The part that hurts me the most, is knowing that I once had you and then lost you...
The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned.
Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do.
How do you heal a broken heart? I have no idea where to start because everything I do reminds me of you.
Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and you can never have them?
As I sat here I was trying to think of all the times you hurt me and made me cry... Hoping and wishing it would make me like you less. But it didn't. Because all the times I could remember were the ones when you showed me that you cared... I didn't want to believe that you ever did. You walk by me everyday and say hello. Everyday you take time out to listen to me. You talk to me, smile at me, laugh with me, and have fun with me. Well, I talk, smile and laugh too, but inside I'm hurting. Deep down it hurts to be with you because I love you and you are only a friend.
The weirdest thing happened the other morning... I woke up with tears in my eyes... and one rolling down my cheek... and I knew I must have been dreaming of you again.
I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care,I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there, I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do, I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you.
You're not worth the tears, you're not worth the heartache. I don't know why I give you the time. You're not worth the pain, you're not worth the emptiness. I don't know why I wish you were mine.
One day you'll ask me, "which is more important to you, me or your life" I'll say, "My life" and you'll go and leave me with out knowing that you are my life...
I'm sorry for crying over you, because I said I wouldn't. But I didn't promise you that, because I knew it would be a promise I would never be able to keep.
Nothing hurts more than realising she meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to her.
Never say "I love you" if you don't really care,
Never talk about feeling if they aren't really there.
Never hold my hand if you're going to break my heart.
Never say you're to, if you never plan to start.
Never look into my eyes if all you do is lie.
Never say hello, if you really mean goodbye.
If you really mean forever, then say you will try.
Never say forever 'cause forever makes me cry.
Taken from Really Sad Love Quotes
Inspired to collect by (500) Days of Summer
There are times when I can't decide whether to see you or not, I want to see you because I miss you but there are times when I don't want to see you because everytime I do, the fact that you don't see me the way that I see you hurts me even more...
A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried.
Forget the times you walked by,
Forget the times you've made me cry,
Forget the time you held my hand,
Forget the sweet things if I can,
I can no longer pretend,
I have to remember now that you're just a friend.
When I look at you my heart skips a beat but later that beat could mean a lifetime of tears wasted on something I knew I could never have
How can you be friends with someone if every time you look at them it makes you want them even more?
My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now is in pieces because of you
Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does.
Even when I pour my heart out to you, I'm not sure it shows, that I love you more than you'll ever know.
Sometimes it's hard to love someone because you're so afraid of losing them
I was reborn when you first kissed me. Part of me died when you left me. But now I still live, waiting for the day you return to me.
The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.
There is one pain I often feel which you will never know because it is caused by the absence of you.
Who do you turn to when the only person who can stop you from crying is the one who is making you cry?
I understand that with loves comes pain, but why did I have to love so much?
The part that hurts me the most, is knowing that I once had you and then lost you...
The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned.
Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do.
How do you heal a broken heart? I have no idea where to start because everything I do reminds me of you.
Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and you can never have them?
As I sat here I was trying to think of all the times you hurt me and made me cry... Hoping and wishing it would make me like you less. But it didn't. Because all the times I could remember were the ones when you showed me that you cared... I didn't want to believe that you ever did. You walk by me everyday and say hello. Everyday you take time out to listen to me. You talk to me, smile at me, laugh with me, and have fun with me. Well, I talk, smile and laugh too, but inside I'm hurting. Deep down it hurts to be with you because I love you and you are only a friend.
The weirdest thing happened the other morning... I woke up with tears in my eyes... and one rolling down my cheek... and I knew I must have been dreaming of you again.
I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care,I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there, I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do, I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you.
You're not worth the tears, you're not worth the heartache. I don't know why I give you the time. You're not worth the pain, you're not worth the emptiness. I don't know why I wish you were mine.
One day you'll ask me, "which is more important to you, me or your life" I'll say, "My life" and you'll go and leave me with out knowing that you are my life...
I'm sorry for crying over you, because I said I wouldn't. But I didn't promise you that, because I knew it would be a promise I would never be able to keep.
Nothing hurts more than realising she meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to her.
Never say "I love you" if you don't really care,
Never talk about feeling if they aren't really there.
Never hold my hand if you're going to break my heart.
Never say you're to, if you never plan to start.
Never look into my eyes if all you do is lie.
Never say hello, if you really mean goodbye.
If you really mean forever, then say you will try.
Never say forever 'cause forever makes me cry.
Taken from Really Sad Love Quotes
Inspired to collect by (500) Days of Summer
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Growing old
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9.. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36.. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood..
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time.. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9.. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36.. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood..
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time.. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 22
Highlight of the day: Punch biopsy
Lowlight of the day: Staring into nothing at the end of the day.
I finished another Anime series, titled, “Zam’d,” a drama set in a fantasy world where North fights South with innocents in the middle, science versus religion, good and evil, cause and consequence, love and hate.
The pace was very slow, but it was intriguing to watch. Every scene added to a very rich storyline. Everybody had a role to play in the plot. Each character was developed nicely and their personalities really were obvious. What made me want to watch it even more, was the dynamics of each of the relationships between the characters. It seemed like everyone had a story of their own, and it intertwined with each other. The last few episodes revealed all of the relationship resolutions, dealing with all those conflicts.
I probably relate to it, because of those conflicts. I would probably call it internal emotional turmoil, having mixed feelings about myself and my surroundings. I almost cried at the last few episodes when each of the conflicts resolve. It is nice to know that there is an ending for everything, and that things will work out. No matter how much I want things to remain as they are, or change for the better, things can go the other way as well. But everything will be alright.
At least that is what everyone tells me.
Lowlight of the day: Staring into nothing at the end of the day.
I finished another Anime series, titled, “Zam’d,” a drama set in a fantasy world where North fights South with innocents in the middle, science versus religion, good and evil, cause and consequence, love and hate.
The pace was very slow, but it was intriguing to watch. Every scene added to a very rich storyline. Everybody had a role to play in the plot. Each character was developed nicely and their personalities really were obvious. What made me want to watch it even more, was the dynamics of each of the relationships between the characters. It seemed like everyone had a story of their own, and it intertwined with each other. The last few episodes revealed all of the relationship resolutions, dealing with all those conflicts.
I probably relate to it, because of those conflicts. I would probably call it internal emotional turmoil, having mixed feelings about myself and my surroundings. I almost cried at the last few episodes when each of the conflicts resolve. It is nice to know that there is an ending for everything, and that things will work out. No matter how much I want things to remain as they are, or change for the better, things can go the other way as well. But everything will be alright.
At least that is what everyone tells me.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 16
Today’s topic: Psychiatry.
My general theory for psychiatry now is thoughts. A crazy person thinks too much.
If the thoughts are generally sad ones, like guilt, worthlessness, and suicidal, then the person would become depressed.
If the thoughts are general happy and grandiose, then the person would be more manic.
If the thoughts becomes like a voice on its own, it becomes more like a schizophrenia type disorder.
Content of the thoughts, intensity of the thoughts and the frequency of the thoughts are what makes a person crazier than others. But we cannot not think, at least I can’t. I tried meditation before, and they told us to not think about anything, not to have any worries on our minds. I can’t stop thinking. I wasn’t thinking about my problems or anyone else’s problems. I just can’t stop thinking about things. I would be thinking about breathing, thinking about not thinking about anything, thinking about how dark it is, etc. Maybe I am crazy.
I just wish that my thoughts are focused so that I can pass my exams.
Joke of the day:
To a worker in a scaffolding business: “Hey, how are you holding up?”
I was laughing inside throughout the whole consult.
And I was also thinking of other greeting for other jobs:
To a deepsea fisherman: “Hi, business keeping afloat?”
To a Coles cashier: “Hello, everything checking out okay?”
To an exterminator: “So, what’s been bugging you?”
To a property salesman: “House everything?”
My general theory for psychiatry now is thoughts. A crazy person thinks too much.
If the thoughts are generally sad ones, like guilt, worthlessness, and suicidal, then the person would become depressed.
If the thoughts are general happy and grandiose, then the person would be more manic.
If the thoughts becomes like a voice on its own, it becomes more like a schizophrenia type disorder.
Content of the thoughts, intensity of the thoughts and the frequency of the thoughts are what makes a person crazier than others. But we cannot not think, at least I can’t. I tried meditation before, and they told us to not think about anything, not to have any worries on our minds. I can’t stop thinking. I wasn’t thinking about my problems or anyone else’s problems. I just can’t stop thinking about things. I would be thinking about breathing, thinking about not thinking about anything, thinking about how dark it is, etc. Maybe I am crazy.
I just wish that my thoughts are focused so that I can pass my exams.
Joke of the day:
To a worker in a scaffolding business: “Hey, how are you holding up?”
I was laughing inside throughout the whole consult.
And I was also thinking of other greeting for other jobs:
To a deepsea fisherman: “Hi, business keeping afloat?”
To a Coles cashier: “Hello, everything checking out okay?”
To an exterminator: “So, what’s been bugging you?”
To a property salesman: “House everything?”
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Letter to my Friend VI
Dear J
Sorry for the late reply. I just started a new term and we're just getting down to doing the intern work. I am glad to be in my team, because I get to see all the fresh patients from the Emergency Department, with all their untreated medical illnesses. They really have great signs, like pulmonary edema, heart murmurs, etc. Well, some better than others. I had a demented old lady who came in, was quite aware of where she was, but while I was talking to her, she started becoming drowsy and well... long story short, the next day, she didn't remember me, couldn't tell me correctly where she was, or why she is in hospital. And I have to write a report on her to be marked.
Apart from that, I went on a movie spree. Well, not much of a back to back or day after day, but I watched half a dozen movies since I wrote to you last. Lets see if I can list them down:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - awesome movie, but elements of which did not follow the original comics, but was still a good watch.
Star Trek - The awesome beginning to a whole fandom that is Star Trek. I enjoy the pewpew war in Star Wars, but Star Trek is about how space adventure is meant to be. I converted to a trekkie fan after the movie too.
Angels & Demons - the title has not much reference to angels or demons, though it can be potrayed by the struggle between science and religion, the revalation of the antagonist's good and bad side, or just by the sheer number of angel statues in the movie. The puzzles stuck with the book, mostly, and left out the contraversial ending of the novel. But it was still a good watch.
The Notebook - it was different from what I thought it would be. Touching and sad... but a fairytale.
The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants II - it was like watching a familiar story, of childhood dreams and promises falling apart, growing older and travelling down your own path in life. Friends will be friends, but we will have to leave the nest one day.
Thats all I can think of, movies that struck and stuck.
Apart from that, I was meant to tell you my adventures in gambling. I guess everyone will be enticed by it at some point in life. It is such an easy way to win. The thrill of winning releases hormones that make you high, so you want more. That's if you win. If you lose, you fill with regret and makes you strive to 'win back' that money. The only thing that can save you is to know when to quit. Preferably before you actually put money down, but anytime down the road is always good.
Not only in Burswood Casino, my friend also started me on buying Lotto every week. The jackpot has rose to 20million and we still dream of having that much money. Sadly, even being educated, math-inclined individuals, we still want to try our luck with it. It's only $3.70 a week, but having $15 a month is equal to me playing WoW. Just that I have no chance of earning anything from WoW.
There is also a syndrome or condition or something about gambling. It applies to relationships and it was what I experienced in my past. My ex would throw tantrums about things that she is not happy about, expecting me to make things better. Sometimes, yes I feel guilty and do something about it, but other times, it became annoying or helpless that I didn't or couldn't do anything. It's like gambling. Sometimes she wins and gets what she wants, but she also loses. Eventhough losing hurts, but she would still went on with her behaviour hoping that things get done. And she kept doing it. and doing it. and doing it. and eventually I lost it. That's gambling for you.
And so what is this 'inspiration' doing to you? What does it add to your life? You have to tell me more than that...
Until next time.
Ken Rhee
Sorry for the late reply. I just started a new term and we're just getting down to doing the intern work. I am glad to be in my team, because I get to see all the fresh patients from the Emergency Department, with all their untreated medical illnesses. They really have great signs, like pulmonary edema, heart murmurs, etc. Well, some better than others. I had a demented old lady who came in, was quite aware of where she was, but while I was talking to her, she started becoming drowsy and well... long story short, the next day, she didn't remember me, couldn't tell me correctly where she was, or why she is in hospital. And I have to write a report on her to be marked.
Apart from that, I went on a movie spree. Well, not much of a back to back or day after day, but I watched half a dozen movies since I wrote to you last. Lets see if I can list them down:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - awesome movie, but elements of which did not follow the original comics, but was still a good watch.
Star Trek - The awesome beginning to a whole fandom that is Star Trek. I enjoy the pewpew war in Star Wars, but Star Trek is about how space adventure is meant to be. I converted to a trekkie fan after the movie too.
Angels & Demons - the title has not much reference to angels or demons, though it can be potrayed by the struggle between science and religion, the revalation of the antagonist's good and bad side, or just by the sheer number of angel statues in the movie. The puzzles stuck with the book, mostly, and left out the contraversial ending of the novel. But it was still a good watch.
The Notebook - it was different from what I thought it would be. Touching and sad... but a fairytale.
The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants II - it was like watching a familiar story, of childhood dreams and promises falling apart, growing older and travelling down your own path in life. Friends will be friends, but we will have to leave the nest one day.
Thats all I can think of, movies that struck and stuck.
Apart from that, I was meant to tell you my adventures in gambling. I guess everyone will be enticed by it at some point in life. It is such an easy way to win. The thrill of winning releases hormones that make you high, so you want more. That's if you win. If you lose, you fill with regret and makes you strive to 'win back' that money. The only thing that can save you is to know when to quit. Preferably before you actually put money down, but anytime down the road is always good.
Not only in Burswood Casino, my friend also started me on buying Lotto every week. The jackpot has rose to 20million and we still dream of having that much money. Sadly, even being educated, math-inclined individuals, we still want to try our luck with it. It's only $3.70 a week, but having $15 a month is equal to me playing WoW. Just that I have no chance of earning anything from WoW.
There is also a syndrome or condition or something about gambling. It applies to relationships and it was what I experienced in my past. My ex would throw tantrums about things that she is not happy about, expecting me to make things better. Sometimes, yes I feel guilty and do something about it, but other times, it became annoying or helpless that I didn't or couldn't do anything. It's like gambling. Sometimes she wins and gets what she wants, but she also loses. Eventhough losing hurts, but she would still went on with her behaviour hoping that things get done. And she kept doing it. and doing it. and doing it. and eventually I lost it. That's gambling for you.
And so what is this 'inspiration' doing to you? What does it add to your life? You have to tell me more than that...
Until next time.
Ken Rhee
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The long table...
Another birthday celebration, another dinner party. The birthday girl got a new radio, a scarf, and a box of chocolates. She celebrated with a lots of close friends and had a wonderful time. She turned 21... again...
I would like to go into my thoughts on birthdays again, but I shouldn't. However, I would like to extend my distaste for any special days, including, Mothers' Day, Valentines' Day and New Years. Why must I have a special day to do all that? These days have been highly commercialised, with card companies and florists reaping the benefit.
I used to get excited whenever I found out that a day was named a certain day, like Grandparents' day, or Secretaries' Day, or Sister's Day, or Rememberance Day, or Earth Day, or Hugging Day, or Sweetest Day, or May Day. The list goes on... I guess what sparked my awareness of this commercialization is the increase in prices of mooncake and the explosion of jelly mooncakes, tiramisu flavoured, ginseng flavoured, snowskin mooncakes and what not during the Mid-Autumn festival. While others enjoy their mooncake with their favourite durian flavour, I see a lost in the tradition and history behind them. I applaud those who can tell me straight up without referring what mooncakes started out as.
Same goes for birthdays. Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Time...
I just reformatted my HD and reinstalled all the programs that I needed...
Now I am in the process of adding sites to my bookmarks. I guess it became a habit of mine back when I was in Singapore to visit a certain series of websites, decipher.com, ecircles.com, circles99.com, communityzero.com, hotmail.com and a few more that I cannot remember. Anyway, I since it was imprinted in my memory, I decided to visit them for old times sake. Or rather I was lost to which sites I currently visit nowadays...
Surprisingly, my old circles99 groups are still there. I even checked the M203 group, which surprisingly had visits all the way since 2006 where we all dispersed from Bukit Jalil campus, albeit the once a month random visit. Last entry was Febuary this year and the previous one was August 2006.
With this feeling of nostalgia, I confided in my partner in crime, Raj, and visited old chat programs, mainly ICQ and Yahoo! Messenger. ICQ was THE chat program of the last century. I vaguely recalled my number, thus I spent 30 minutes locating ME. 41290931. I remember the time when I refused to use MSN because ICQ does it all. Anyway, I logged in... and... found no one online... (2hrs later while writing this, it is still empty). I can't really say that I am surprised, but I had a look at all my contacts, most of whom I had not talked to in a very very long time. (I also checked my 7 Yahoo! Messenger contacts, who were also not online...)
Even at one time, Friendster was a huge hit. I still see many of my contacts there log in and update stuff, but I seldom log in there now... I am putting up a message that I have permanently moved to Facebook. Yeah, Facebook... the replacement for Friendster, which replaced circles99, which replaced communityzero.com, which replaced ecircles. Facebook looks like it is going strong. I doubt that it will fall apart anytime soon. With all the applications (Graffiti, my favourite), walls and connectivity, I would give it 1 more year at least. Though, with that being said, I know of a few friends who already gave up on facebook.
Of course there is the everlasting Blogs which existed in my life since 1999. Never really got into blogs... but it's out there...
I also have a MySpace page and MSN Live Spaces. I also recently recently registered under twitter.com, pownce.com, orkut.com and jaiku.com. All ready to become the Internet's Top Community Program. Stay tuned. As for my websites, I have this blog and Picassa. And not to mention the various free porn sites. Seriously, not going to mention them.
I've come to a point where there are so many Tom, Dick and Harry Community programs, I just want to stick with one although no one wants to stick with it anymore. I used to join all these things bcause I was afraid of being left out. Frankly, I still am, but I decided to keep in contact to the people who matter and those in the immediate vicinity. I mean, like getting home addresses and occupation and stuff. It sounds like I only know a person for their use... HAHA...
I guess this is how the times have changed over the years...
Now I am in the process of adding sites to my bookmarks. I guess it became a habit of mine back when I was in Singapore to visit a certain series of websites, decipher.com, ecircles.com, circles99.com, communityzero.com, hotmail.com and a few more that I cannot remember. Anyway, I since it was imprinted in my memory, I decided to visit them for old times sake. Or rather I was lost to which sites I currently visit nowadays...
Surprisingly, my old circles99 groups are still there. I even checked the M203 group, which surprisingly had visits all the way since 2006 where we all dispersed from Bukit Jalil campus, albeit the once a month random visit. Last entry was Febuary this year and the previous one was August 2006.
With this feeling of nostalgia, I confided in my partner in crime, Raj, and visited old chat programs, mainly ICQ and Yahoo! Messenger. ICQ was THE chat program of the last century. I vaguely recalled my number, thus I spent 30 minutes locating ME. 41290931. I remember the time when I refused to use MSN because ICQ does it all. Anyway, I logged in... and... found no one online... (2hrs later while writing this, it is still empty). I can't really say that I am surprised, but I had a look at all my contacts, most of whom I had not talked to in a very very long time. (I also checked my 7 Yahoo! Messenger contacts, who were also not online...)
Even at one time, Friendster was a huge hit. I still see many of my contacts there log in and update stuff, but I seldom log in there now... I am putting up a message that I have permanently moved to Facebook. Yeah, Facebook... the replacement for Friendster, which replaced circles99, which replaced communityzero.com, which replaced ecircles. Facebook looks like it is going strong. I doubt that it will fall apart anytime soon. With all the applications (Graffiti, my favourite), walls and connectivity, I would give it 1 more year at least. Though, with that being said, I know of a few friends who already gave up on facebook.
Of course there is the everlasting Blogs which existed in my life since 1999. Never really got into blogs... but it's out there...
I also have a MySpace page and MSN Live Spaces. I also recently recently registered under twitter.com, pownce.com, orkut.com and jaiku.com. All ready to become the Internet's Top Community Program. Stay tuned. As for my websites, I have this blog and Picassa. And not to mention the various free porn sites. Seriously, not going to mention them.
I've come to a point where there are so many Tom, Dick and Harry Community programs, I just want to stick with one although no one wants to stick with it anymore. I used to join all these things bcause I was afraid of being left out. Frankly, I still am, but I decided to keep in contact to the people who matter and those in the immediate vicinity. I mean, like getting home addresses and occupation and stuff. It sounds like I only know a person for their use... HAHA...
I guess this is how the times have changed over the years...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Ken Rhee
Hi, my name is Ken Rhee.
Henry?
No, Ken Rhee.
Kendrick?
No. Ken. Rhee
Ken what?
Just call me Ken.
I have introduced myself as Ken Rhee for so long, and it's not something that anyone can pick up first off and remember it. It takes time getting use to. So, to save that few seconds of people's time, I introduce myself as Ken now. Though, I rather people call me Ken Rhee whenever they can. But with that being said, they can only call me Ken Rhee after knowing me for a while. So as a message to all my friends (well, those reading my blog anyway) to call me Ken Rhee and not just Ken.
Strangely, when I told my friend to do this, she decided to call herself Ken Rhee too. She would not respond to her own name now, but will look if I call her Ken Rhee. It takes time getting use to, but saying 'Ken Rhee' is a mouthful... to me at least. Yet, I always like it if someone calls me Ken Rhee. I know it may be hard for you, but I really appreciate you all now. Thank you.
Yeah, I am saying my name now repeatedly in a few different tones, which I unfortunately cannot convey them through the blog. From a semi-erotic tone to a blasting angry tone.
SAY MY NAME!
Yeah baby, SAY MY NAME!
ken rhee
Henry?
No, Ken Rhee.
Kendrick?
No. Ken. Rhee
Ken what?
Just call me Ken.
I have introduced myself as Ken Rhee for so long, and it's not something that anyone can pick up first off and remember it. It takes time getting use to. So, to save that few seconds of people's time, I introduce myself as Ken now. Though, I rather people call me Ken Rhee whenever they can. But with that being said, they can only call me Ken Rhee after knowing me for a while. So as a message to all my friends (well, those reading my blog anyway) to call me Ken Rhee and not just Ken.
Strangely, when I told my friend to do this, she decided to call herself Ken Rhee too. She would not respond to her own name now, but will look if I call her Ken Rhee. It takes time getting use to, but saying 'Ken Rhee' is a mouthful... to me at least. Yet, I always like it if someone calls me Ken Rhee. I know it may be hard for you, but I really appreciate you all now. Thank you.
Yeah, I am saying my name now repeatedly in a few different tones, which I unfortunately cannot convey them through the blog. From a semi-erotic tone to a blasting angry tone.
SAY MY NAME!
Yeah baby, SAY MY NAME!
ken rhee
Monday, April 14, 2008
bzzzt
A picture is said to be worth a thousand words. That's why in OSPE's we are required to do lots of descriptions on a bunch of cells that look all the same and make a pathological diagnosis. BUT no, I am not going into some medical mumbo-jumbo discussion about this topic. What I want to say though, is about body language and non-verbal communication. (Yeah, sounds medical again, but no)
It is like given a picture of a person, facial expressions and body language can tell a lot. If I extrapolate that to a series of moving pictures, like a video, more information can be added. Then, add sound into the mix, and you get something REAL LIFE, with literally millions of bits of data.
This is interesting because a what may sound like a grunt is actually a series of sentences in a complex mixture of high-/low-pitched noise compressed into a short burst of sound. So a:
'Hmrph'
could actually mean:
'I waited for you for so long, but you didn't call or let me know that you will be running late and I started to get worried that something dreadful might have happened to you on your way here, but here you are not even with the slightest idea of how I worried I've been and how I felt, I wish you would be ever so thoughtful and to let me know about these things in the future.'
And what may look like a simple frown may actually be gestures and movements that lasts for only a few miliseconds and are so fast that our naked eyes miss out on the elaborate dance of Swan Lake that the person is performing. Yet, our brains can fully interpret that:
a raised eyebrow
actually means:
'You are not being serious, are you? I mean, you've actualy paid a ridiculus amount for something so miniscule, are you sure it is actually worth it? There has to be a really good reason to why you have done such a thing and I want to hear it now. It better be good. You're such a spendthrift, you know that? It's like money grows on trees for you, doesn't it?'
So why am I elaborating on this subject? This is the summary:
RS: X
Ken: A
RS: but X!
Ken: D, A.
RS: Y...
(10 mins later)
RS: X
Ken: C
RS: Z
Ken: C. A.
RS: XXX!!!
Ken: D. C.
(10 mins later)
RS: X :'(
Ken: D
RS: XXX!!!
Ken: B.
RS: Y
Ken: B!
RS: Y
Click on comment to find out more.
Isn't life easier with all these short ques?
It is like given a picture of a person, facial expressions and body language can tell a lot. If I extrapolate that to a series of moving pictures, like a video, more information can be added. Then, add sound into the mix, and you get something REAL LIFE, with literally millions of bits of data.
This is interesting because a what may sound like a grunt is actually a series of sentences in a complex mixture of high-/low-pitched noise compressed into a short burst of sound. So a:
'Hmrph'
could actually mean:
'I waited for you for so long, but you didn't call or let me know that you will be running late and I started to get worried that something dreadful might have happened to you on your way here, but here you are not even with the slightest idea of how I worried I've been and how I felt, I wish you would be ever so thoughtful and to let me know about these things in the future.'
And what may look like a simple frown may actually be gestures and movements that lasts for only a few miliseconds and are so fast that our naked eyes miss out on the elaborate dance of Swan Lake that the person is performing. Yet, our brains can fully interpret that:
a raised eyebrow
actually means:
'You are not being serious, are you? I mean, you've actualy paid a ridiculus amount for something so miniscule, are you sure it is actually worth it? There has to be a really good reason to why you have done such a thing and I want to hear it now. It better be good. You're such a spendthrift, you know that? It's like money grows on trees for you, doesn't it?'
So why am I elaborating on this subject? This is the summary:
RS: X
Ken: A
RS: but X!
Ken: D, A.
RS: Y...
(10 mins later)
RS: X
Ken: C
RS: Z
Ken: C. A.
RS: XXX!!!
Ken: D. C.
(10 mins later)
RS: X :'(
Ken: D
RS: XXX!!!
Ken: B.
RS: Y
Ken: B!
RS: Y
Click on comment to find out more.
Isn't life easier with all these short ques?
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Stress makes you Stupid
It starts with a Nut. An Almond nut. The Amygdala.
Or so we were told today by our charismatic and entertaining lecturer, who is a psychologist. Everything starts when we are born, everything that we are starts there. How we express ourselves, how we react to stimuli, how we interpret things, how we cope with life events. As we develop, our mid brain develop first; thats where all our autonomic responses are processed. Then comes to the lymbic system where most of our emotions and fears are. Last is our cognitive function such as speech and rationalization. And everything is a learning process that begins when we are born, with our attachments to the people around us and the environment.
So, I am the way I am, because that's how I have learnt and have been since then.
But...
Who am I?
I never like to talk. I prefer typing. To me, typing eliminates most of the emotional side of things, body language, tone; something that I do not handle well. I would probably score good marks on a EQ written test, but put into a real situation I don't think I will be able to convey genuine empathy, sympathy and end up with just apathy.
Which brings to the next part of the lecture: EMOTIONS. :)
The basic idea is that emotions are in the lymbic system and not in the cortex. So when you get stressed or emotional, you aren't thinking rationally. So, as an aspiring General Practioner, we have to learn about how TO handle difficult patients and how WE handle difficult patients.
Then the question arose, to avoid getting stressed and becoming better doctors, do we forgo our stressful studying practises?
When you are stressed, it has been proven that more blood goes to your lymbic system and midbrain than your cortex, to you appear to be less intelligent. STRESS MAKES YOU STUPID
So when you relax, more blood goes to the rest of your brain and you are able to process information better and makes you be less emotional and more rational. THE BRAIN IS LIKE A SPONGE; IT ABSORBS BETTER RELAXED
Or so we were told today by our charismatic and entertaining lecturer, who is a psychologist. Everything starts when we are born, everything that we are starts there. How we express ourselves, how we react to stimuli, how we interpret things, how we cope with life events. As we develop, our mid brain develop first; thats where all our autonomic responses are processed. Then comes to the lymbic system where most of our emotions and fears are. Last is our cognitive function such as speech and rationalization. And everything is a learning process that begins when we are born, with our attachments to the people around us and the environment.
So, I am the way I am, because that's how I have learnt and have been since then.
But...
Who am I?
I never like to talk. I prefer typing. To me, typing eliminates most of the emotional side of things, body language, tone; something that I do not handle well. I would probably score good marks on a EQ written test, but put into a real situation I don't think I will be able to convey genuine empathy, sympathy and end up with just apathy.
Which brings to the next part of the lecture: EMOTIONS. :)
The basic idea is that emotions are in the lymbic system and not in the cortex. So when you get stressed or emotional, you aren't thinking rationally. So, as an aspiring General Practioner, we have to learn about how TO handle difficult patients and how WE handle difficult patients.
Then the question arose, to avoid getting stressed and becoming better doctors, do we forgo our stressful studying practises?
When you are stressed, it has been proven that more blood goes to your lymbic system and midbrain than your cortex, to you appear to be less intelligent. STRESS MAKES YOU STUPID
So when you relax, more blood goes to the rest of your brain and you are able to process information better and makes you be less emotional and more rational. THE BRAIN IS LIKE A SPONGE; IT ABSORBS BETTER RELAXED
Monday, March 31, 2008
A Circle
I am beginning to feel like a tennis player. Love means nothing to me now. I tried to court her but I didn’t have the balls to do it. I served whatever I had over to her side, and it was never returned. I was about to call it deuce, then it hit me.
My life is at a plateau… its all flattering. Sometimes I feel like I am going to explode with this built up energy. If it happens, I would probably make Ma cry. I don’t want to burn her hopes. It is hard when everything feels like its all going down slope. I guess I have to be cool and hold myself together.
I’ve thought about it. Having only my current circle of friends is pointless; it’s like drawing with a broken pencil. I might leave an impression, but it can be damaging. If only I can find a way to make our cliques click. Hopefully something will overlap, and there will be some interest… and then my life will make more sense. I guess all I want is some change. Only then, can I coin my life to be wealthy.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Rhee-son to Live
" I've decided that you will be the one I will sacrifice my life for "
I had a very interesting talk with a friend I barely knew today. He was doing his options in PMH, just as I was last year: Cystic Fibrosis. The topic we talked about, was Christianity.
(Maybe it's the people, maybe it's Christianity, but I always feel welcomed among them.)
Anyway, we started out talking about Easter. Then we got into Big Bang Theory and all that argument. Then we talked about our reason to being. Why are we here. At frist, I believed in Karma, you do good, you get good. Now, though its the same thing, I think in retrograde: I am here because of what I did in the past; I am put here for a reason.
His point of view was, if there is no purpose in life or nothing to look forward to, why do we not just eat sleep and be merry? So he chose to believe in God. Thinking the way I am, I've never really questioned what is the purpose of life nor I do not really look forward to anything. What I do believe is that I do what I do because I can, and I am here because I was put here. I don't know which reason to live is better... still pondering over it.
But in the end, both Karma and this idea on purposes of life told me the same thing. I am here because I was put here, I want to do good because I can. I'm just doing this to pass my time here on Earth.
Oh yeah, the quote that was mentioned, I adapted from an Anime. About a guardian who told a girl he barely knew that she will be the one. I watched this anime 8 years back, after my first encounter with anime through 'Evangelion". This anime was entitled 'X'. I don't remember much of the storyline, but what I recalled is what I hold true at this point. So it was a perpetual cyclic war between the Dragons of Earth and the Dragons of Heaven. The guardians of each are unknown to each other, but they battle nontheless and even to their deaths. And one of the dragons of the heavens said "I've decided that you will be the one I will sacrifice my life for" to his comrade. He made that his purpose, his reason to live.
When he first said it, 'You'll be the one' on the first day he saw her, I was really curious as to whether one can feel like that at first sight. I cannot call it Love at First Sight. Love itself has so many levels I won't go though. Was it love that compelled him to do what he did? He never knew her, and will never get to, but he did it anyway. I wish that I can experience this feeling, and to find someone to be who I will be able to say those words to...
I had a very interesting talk with a friend I barely knew today. He was doing his options in PMH, just as I was last year: Cystic Fibrosis. The topic we talked about, was Christianity.
(Maybe it's the people, maybe it's Christianity, but I always feel welcomed among them.)
Anyway, we started out talking about Easter. Then we got into Big Bang Theory and all that argument. Then we talked about our reason to being. Why are we here. At frist, I believed in Karma, you do good, you get good. Now, though its the same thing, I think in retrograde: I am here because of what I did in the past; I am put here for a reason.
His point of view was, if there is no purpose in life or nothing to look forward to, why do we not just eat sleep and be merry? So he chose to believe in God. Thinking the way I am, I've never really questioned what is the purpose of life nor I do not really look forward to anything. What I do believe is that I do what I do because I can, and I am here because I was put here. I don't know which reason to live is better... still pondering over it.
But in the end, both Karma and this idea on purposes of life told me the same thing. I am here because I was put here, I want to do good because I can. I'm just doing this to pass my time here on Earth.
Oh yeah, the quote that was mentioned, I adapted from an Anime. About a guardian who told a girl he barely knew that she will be the one. I watched this anime 8 years back, after my first encounter with anime through 'Evangelion". This anime was entitled 'X'. I don't remember much of the storyline, but what I recalled is what I hold true at this point. So it was a perpetual cyclic war between the Dragons of Earth and the Dragons of Heaven. The guardians of each are unknown to each other, but they battle nontheless and even to their deaths. And one of the dragons of the heavens said "I've decided that you will be the one I will sacrifice my life for" to his comrade. He made that his purpose, his reason to live.
When he first said it, 'You'll be the one' on the first day he saw her, I was really curious as to whether one can feel like that at first sight. I cannot call it Love at First Sight. Love itself has so many levels I won't go though. Was it love that compelled him to do what he did? He never knew her, and will never get to, but he did it anyway. I wish that I can experience this feeling, and to find someone to be who I will be able to say those words to...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Time of the year (again)
Easter brings back so many memories. Last year, I was stranded in the middle of Freo train station at 10pm. The previous 2 years, an interesting surmon. Years before that, I saw a girl cry watching a reenactment of the crucification. Every year (almost) I go to church on this day, this very day in which I cannot find myself to believe in yet. How ironic is that.
Strangely, with every Easter, I learn something new, I hear a new surmon. This year, was about stones. Yes, synonymous with boulder, and pebble. What about stones? Stones are a physical undefined mass of solidified magma and minerals. They rock our world. Stare in ore at the wonder of this piece of gravel. I mean stones can be obstacles, a hinderence, and usually accompanied by sticks that break bones.
There are just so many stones! I have to admid that I have tripped over many, hid in the shade of one and even peed on some in hopes that water will break it eventually. I know of some who sees one and starts chiseling to make it into something beautiful. And even another that puts pressure on it and produces gems from it. But what the pastor said was true, there are many stones, but we must keep having faith. Faith, is something I am severely lacking.
I find it hard to believe that I lack faith.
It was against my principle to put all hope on faith.
I dont trust that faith will see me through.
I have yet to accept that faith will ge the job done.
(There, an attempt to copy "How I Met Your Mother" jokes)
Strangely, with every Easter, I learn something new, I hear a new surmon. This year, was about stones. Yes, synonymous with boulder, and pebble. What about stones? Stones are a physical undefined mass of solidified magma and minerals. They rock our world. Stare in ore at the wonder of this piece of gravel. I mean stones can be obstacles, a hinderence, and usually accompanied by sticks that break bones.
There are just so many stones! I have to admid that I have tripped over many, hid in the shade of one and even peed on some in hopes that water will break it eventually. I know of some who sees one and starts chiseling to make it into something beautiful. And even another that puts pressure on it and produces gems from it. But what the pastor said was true, there are many stones, but we must keep having faith. Faith, is something I am severely lacking.
I find it hard to believe that I lack faith.
It was against my principle to put all hope on faith.
I dont trust that faith will see me through.
I have yet to accept that faith will ge the job done.
(There, an attempt to copy "How I Met Your Mother" jokes)
Labels:
Christianity,
Easter,
How I Met Your Mother,
Medicine,
Thoughts
Monday, November 05, 2007
EXAMS!
I have 14 days left before my final exams. Over the last few months, I have seen friends get panic attacks, one by one, prompting them to study excessively for the exams. Frankly, I was more worried about not being worried about the incoming exams. I guess I am a too over-confident with myself and I keep putting off studying to 'tomorrow'. That was a few months ago.
I guess you can say I finally woken up from my year long sleep. The sudden realization occured during my manic episode yesterday. We went out for Dim-Sum for lunch and went shopping in the city after. I already planned to get a new computer for next year if I passed my exams, so I went to get myself new speakers. While lugging back that 10kg box home, the beautiful computer that I am going to build next year kept popping in my head. I got home, slowly put my speakers together and basking in the awesomeness surround sound from my speakers. I have no idea why, but I found more pleasure listening to 'Fields of Hope' than any other heavy bass songs that I had. It had perfect soft bass running in the background and soothed my senses...
Enough of that. As I continued listening and imagining my new computer, I came to a realization that if I do not stay in Australia, I will have to transport back my computer and speaker home. It hit me... I MUST NOT GO BACK.
So, to prevent spending a fortune on transporting back my computer and not to mention the cost of studying medicine for 5 years, I finally got started on my studying. I have 14 days left.
Oh, half a day already passed. 13 1/2 days to go.
I guess you can say I finally woken up from my year long sleep. The sudden realization occured during my manic episode yesterday. We went out for Dim-Sum for lunch and went shopping in the city after. I already planned to get a new computer for next year if I passed my exams, so I went to get myself new speakers. While lugging back that 10kg box home, the beautiful computer that I am going to build next year kept popping in my head. I got home, slowly put my speakers together and basking in the awesomeness surround sound from my speakers. I have no idea why, but I found more pleasure listening to 'Fields of Hope' than any other heavy bass songs that I had. It had perfect soft bass running in the background and soothed my senses...
Enough of that. As I continued listening and imagining my new computer, I came to a realization that if I do not stay in Australia, I will have to transport back my computer and speaker home. It hit me... I MUST NOT GO BACK.
So, to prevent spending a fortune on transporting back my computer and not to mention the cost of studying medicine for 5 years, I finally got started on my studying. I have 14 days left.
Oh, half a day already passed. 13 1/2 days to go.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
On Crying
I find it interesting that there is a different quality of a child's cry compared to an adult. Most babies and children I know cry out loud, demanding to be heard, screaming their hearts out. Older ones cry softly, sobbing to themselves. Adults just shed tears. I believe that all of us go through an equal type of sadness, but what makes us cry to ourselves and what makes kids cry out loud?
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