Easter 09

Some people go to church and become Christians only on Sundays. Me, I go once a year. It's Easter once again, and I make my annual trip to church in Curtin.

The Easter service held by the Zion Praise Harvest was better this year. They called in a guest speaker who was also an ex convict, 3 time world kungfu title holder, ex hired thug, ex body guard, who basically told his life story and how he became a christian. To me, it is not one of those typical 'everything was going bad, but Jesus showed me the way' story. Although it did boil down to that, but I find his story interesting. Due to copy right issues I don't think I should provoke an ex-murderer and tell this story here...

He ended his talk with a nice presentation, about heaven and hell, and how we all have impure souls coz we all are lying thiefs who thinks of murder. So we are all going to hell.

Then he says how we can save ourselves. Instead of the 'become a christian, baptise, etc' talk, he gave it in two steps. Turn away from all the things that are wrong. And to surrender yourself to Jesus.

I have told many people that the only thing that is stopping me from becoming a Christian is today, the part of where Jesus is ressurected. The believing in Jesus. The surrendering of my soul to this... being...

I do not know what surrendering to Jesus entails that is different from what I have already been thinking and doing. And how different will I be if I do that. It's just mind boggling...

Also today, I met a new friend, an intern graduated from Adelaide. She really made my day today, and I do want to thank her for that. And it being Easter at Curtin Uni, I get to listen once again to the girl with the beautiful voice. And again, I did not have the courage to go up to her to say, "You have such a beautiful voice, and after one year, I am still in love with your voice." I really wish that I can get to know you and listen to it again...

On a side note, I went to see Dragonball: Evolution later that night. Graphics were good, but the acting was mediocre and the story was lacking. Only Goku had his character development laid out, and the others were poorly done. Master Roshi's pervertness was only shown at the beginning and no where else. Yamcha was super calefare, with a sudden love sparks with Bulma, of all people. Chi Chi's plot was disjointed and when Mai assumes her identity for a scene, continuity confusion!!!

Revelations at the end was so random, yet predictable. Suddenly confusing advice from the start of the show miraculously fall into place and suppose to make sense.

Reviews were right. 3/10.

Happy Easter everyone...

Rhee-son to Live

" I've decided that you will be the one I will sacrifice my life for "

I had a very interesting talk with a friend I barely knew today. He was doing his options in PMH, just as I was last year: Cystic Fibrosis. The topic we talked about, was Christianity.

(Maybe it's the people, maybe it's Christianity, but I always feel welcomed among them.)

Anyway, we started out talking about Easter. Then we got into Big Bang Theory and all that argument. Then we talked about our reason to being. Why are we here. At frist, I believed in Karma, you do good, you get good. Now, though its the same thing, I think in retrograde: I am here because of what I did in the past; I am put here for a reason.

His point of view was, if there is no purpose in life or nothing to look forward to, why do we not just eat sleep and be merry? So he chose to believe in God. Thinking the way I am, I've never really questioned what is the purpose of life nor I do not really look forward to anything. What I do believe is that I do what I do because I can, and I am here because I was put here. I don't know which reason to live is better... still pondering over it.

But in the end, both Karma and this idea on purposes of life told me the same thing. I am here because I was put here, I want to do good because I can. I'm just doing this to pass my time here on Earth.

Oh yeah, the quote that was mentioned, I adapted from an Anime. About a guardian who told a girl he barely knew that she will be the one. I watched this anime 8 years back, after my first encounter with anime through 'Evangelion". This anime was entitled 'X'. I don't remember much of the storyline, but what I recalled is what I hold true at this point. So it was a perpetual cyclic war between the Dragons of Earth and the Dragons of Heaven. The guardians of each are unknown to each other, but they battle nontheless and even to their deaths. And one of the dragons of the heavens said "I've decided that you will be the one I will sacrifice my life for" to his comrade. He made that his purpose, his reason to live.

When he first said it, 'You'll be the one' on the first day he saw her, I was really curious as to whether one can feel like that at first sight. I cannot call it Love at First Sight. Love itself has so many levels I won't go though. Was it love that compelled him to do what he did? He never knew her, and will never get to, but he did it anyway. I wish that I can experience this feeling, and to find someone to be who I will be able to say those words to...

Time of the year (again)

Easter brings back so many memories. Last year, I was stranded in the middle of Freo train station at 10pm. The previous 2 years, an interesting surmon. Years before that, I saw a girl cry watching a reenactment of the crucification. Every year (almost) I go to church on this day, this very day in which I cannot find myself to believe in yet. How ironic is that.

Strangely, with every Easter, I learn something new, I hear a new surmon. This year, was about stones. Yes, synonymous with boulder, and pebble. What about stones? Stones are a physical undefined mass of solidified magma and minerals. They rock our world. Stare in ore at the wonder of this piece of gravel. I mean stones can be obstacles, a hinderence, and usually accompanied by sticks that break bones.

There are just so many stones! I have to admid that I have tripped over many, hid in the shade of one and even peed on some in hopes that water will break it eventually. I know of some who sees one and starts chiseling to make it into something beautiful. And even another that puts pressure on it and produces gems from it. But what the pastor said was true, there are many stones, but we must keep having faith. Faith, is something I am severely lacking.

I find it hard to believe that I lack faith.
It was against my principle to put all hope on faith.
I dont trust that faith will see me through.
I have yet to accept that faith will ge the job done.

(There, an attempt to copy "How I Met Your Mother" jokes)

Religious Turmoil

Currently reading: The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
Currently listening: The DaVinci Code Soundtrack
Currently playing: Diablo II: Lord of Destruction
Currently watching: none (summer is here, and all series has ended)
Anime watching: Tactics, Mai Otome, Fate Stay Night, Bleach
Currently studying: General Medicine

First Review:
Life of Pi is a smart little book. An Indian boy, who grew up a Hindu, who embraced Lord Jesus as his Savior, and Praised Allah. Quoting Ghandi (I believe), Piscine Molitor Patel told his parents in front of three religious heads that all religions are true, and that the religions all praise one God, and that all he wanted to do was to love God. It was interesting to read about how the three religious heads at each other's throats about whose religion is wrong and whose was right, and to be shut up at the reason this young boy gave. If all the religions are true, it either means all of us are doomed to hell, or all of us will be in heaven.

His story starts out with jumbled pieces of his life, telling us more about his childhood and he what person he turned out to be. His tells us his adventures in religion, and in his father's zoo. Then, how he ended up on a trip to Canada, in which the ship sank and cause him to be in a boat with an Orang Utan, a Zebra, a Hyena and a Bengal Tiger. At first, I thought his story was not credible at all. How could all these animals be on that boat? Then as the story progressed, I believed it more and more to be true. It was not impossible and he basically tells us about laws of survival.

This story tells us about how Pi survived those months on the boat, and about the animal in all of us, and what the desire to survive can do to us.

As I read the last chapters of the book (100 in all) a friend called about going out to watch the movie Posseidon. Great, another story about a sinking ship... (oh, btw, this book is going to be a movie next year)

Second Review:
As my friend and I reached the ticket counter, we asked for tickets for the movie but unfortunately Posseidon was scheduled to be out only oh Thursday, so fortunately, we could watch the Da Vinci Code instead. Oh well, not a sinking ship, but still related to the Life of Pi - Religion.

As I felt myself drawing closer and deeper into Christianity, this movie was a reminder about finding the truth of things. If the facts and fiction in the book/movie were true, I want to know why it is being manipulated. Why can't she be real? Why must she be hidden?

In the book, it says that History is determined by the winner, and that is the history that we know. I recalled the history we learnt in Malaysia, and compare it with the history we learnt in Singapore. Both sides tell different stories, but based on the same facts. Some more hidden than others, and thus... there is a cast of doubt over the best selling book of all time, written by men, who were disciples of Jesus and of God, but still men, who were the winners and heroes of their time.

I learnt before, that followers of Christianity belief in something that they had not witness, but they still have that kind of faith in them. That faith is something that I still cannot embrace nor comprehend.

I will now continue on this journey of mine... in search of the Truth.

Black and White
(Post for Easter)

How often can you, at the end of the day, lie in bed and think about the day, and not wish that something was different? Last Friday was a day that I can think back and truly say that I don’t want anything changed. No “what if” questions, no worries about tomorrow, and no “I should have done this, done that.” It really was a Good Friday for me…

The church service in the morning was interesting. The pastor questioned, Though we live luxuriously (compared to the past), why are we still not happy? What will make everyone happier?

It isn’t hard for us to split everyone into 2 groups; one good, one bad. We just need to get rid of the ‘bad’ and everyone would be living peacefully. It’s just so easy to do that and it’s not impossible… Relationship to Black and White? It’s all about good and bad.

In the game, there are almost always 2 ways to solve a problem or mission; a good way, and an evil way. As time progresses, you and your creature would either start glowing in an angelic halo, or bear scars and claws of anger and hatred. The good way, naturally takes more time and nobody gets hurt, and the evil, speeds up the game tremendously.
In all, it shows our nature about things, we all have the potential to do good and bad. And it’s not about splitting the world into 2, but more like our own hearts that is split up. And it is up to us to show which side of it.

Later that night, there was another church event, with dinner and performances. There is something about being in this group of people gives me courage and make me build my own confidence… There were many talented performers that night, and I was wishing that I could be as talented as them; Rachel, Lydia, Katie, Steve... even the little Abby, who was helping out diligently. ^_^

There was also a talk, on the topic of Jesus and the Simpsons. The speaker showed many remarks by the characters about God and religion and how God in the Simpsons have 5 fingers when the other characters all had 4. It’s how like I see stuff in House and make me wonder about things. The Simpsons do have some ideas on how life is in reality, and there are really moral values that can be learnt from that series.

But then again, which show doesn't have moral values?

T-minus 1
(well it should have been if not for my health...)

What scares me is now is that I am watching the series Lost. It's about a plane that crashed on course from Australia to Singapore... It features a bunch of survivors who miraculously survived the crash. They all survived, and the main cast all have a tale to tell, and they are actually in fact, emotionally and spiritually... Lost.

So begins the story. Miracles happening and all that. Every episode will star a character, and the problems he/she is facing for the day, and at the same time, will reveal his/her story which he/she will have to relive and find themselves to get through their stay in the island.

Then enter the shamanistic character, Locke. He was a cripple, and the crash made him able to walk. After his episode, he became this sort of a preacher. He believes strongly that the island is filled with mystical powers which brought all those who survived there for a reason. He started taking it like a duty to spread this knowledge, teaching everyone. In the beginning, he was the righteous one. After a while, I felt a tinge of evangelistic sentiments being weaved into the show.

When I look back, Christianity has always been beside me almost all the way of my life. Though I am a Buddhist, I have asked questions about the religion. I feel that I do know much about Christianity, but then, so did Lucifer. Anyway, I am also reading a book "The Case for a Creator." The first few chapters already is shattering my beliefs in Darwinism. I held to the Theory so much because it was the most logical sensical fact in my life. I am still mulling over whether I still hold on to it because I am stubborn or because it is true...

The part which scares me is that I am in this period of not believing anything. Nothing has been going my way these couple of weeks. And I do feel Lost. And an interesting discussion I had yesterday, about the 7 deadly sins. I am committing all of them at this very moment and I don't know what to do. Evelyn tried showing me the other good 14... but I can't see any of it...

Anyway, that's just a gist of what is going on in my mind now. Back to being lost.. I mean, watching Lost