After disappointing news yet again from the job agencies in WA and NSW, the chances of me staying in Perth is no longer visible. I would have to either take up the job offer I have in Singapore, or to attempt to contact other states in Australia where I did not apply. I never had the intention to leave Perth, but to leave Australia entirely is a different question. I still could not decide which is better; to go back to my original plan to work and live in Singapore nearby family and familiar territory, or to venture forth into the unknown but still be in the health system of Australia.
Conclusion still pending.
Apart from that, its a small victory for me in GP land. I finally got a praise, albeit sarcastic in nature, that I do know something at least, from my 6 years of training. They say that you can throw away half the stuff you learnt back in pre-clinical years, but this year, I find myself going back to the stuff that I memorized so hard to pass my exams in IMU. They are called fundamentals for a reason and I have to revisit mine in order to get through this year at least.
Even the basics of explaining to patients what a disease is, proves to be a challenge. You can treat the disease all you want, knowing it inside out, but I still find it hard to explain to the patient without jargon and make them aware about their conditions and the basis of treatments. Basically, explaining the whole hour worth of lecture on a topic in 7minutes or less.
After GP, I took a detour, travelling on a different route to get back to the hospital.
Notes to self:
1. Don't travel in the dark through a graveyard if you don't want to be scared.
2. Don't stop to smell the roses (in this case stop to take photos of calla lilies) in the dark in someone's yard.
3. Don't give your home address to evangelists.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 23
It hurts to know,
You don’t feel the way I do,
It hurts to know,
There’s nothing I can do.
It hurts to know,
no matter how I feel,
or what I show,
My fate is already sealed.
It just hurts so much,
When I think about it,
Like my future and such,
The pieces just don’t fit.
It hurts to know,
I’ll be leaving,
It hurts to know,
I can’t do a thing.
It hurts to know,
I’ll no longer be with you,
Without your positive glow,
I find it hard to start anew.
It hurts so bad,
I cry every night,
It hurts, and I am sad,
To be in this plight.
It hurts to know,
That this could be the end,
That I have to go,
My love, my dear friend.
You don’t feel the way I do,
It hurts to know,
There’s nothing I can do.
It hurts to know,
no matter how I feel,
or what I show,
My fate is already sealed.
It just hurts so much,
When I think about it,
Like my future and such,
The pieces just don’t fit.
It hurts to know,
I’ll be leaving,
It hurts to know,
I can’t do a thing.
It hurts to know,
I’ll no longer be with you,
Without your positive glow,
I find it hard to start anew.
It hurts so bad,
I cry every night,
It hurts, and I am sad,
To be in this plight.
It hurts to know,
That this could be the end,
That I have to go,
My love, my dear friend.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 22
Highlight of the day: Punch biopsy
Lowlight of the day: Staring into nothing at the end of the day.
I finished another Anime series, titled, “Zam’d,” a drama set in a fantasy world where North fights South with innocents in the middle, science versus religion, good and evil, cause and consequence, love and hate.
The pace was very slow, but it was intriguing to watch. Every scene added to a very rich storyline. Everybody had a role to play in the plot. Each character was developed nicely and their personalities really were obvious. What made me want to watch it even more, was the dynamics of each of the relationships between the characters. It seemed like everyone had a story of their own, and it intertwined with each other. The last few episodes revealed all of the relationship resolutions, dealing with all those conflicts.
I probably relate to it, because of those conflicts. I would probably call it internal emotional turmoil, having mixed feelings about myself and my surroundings. I almost cried at the last few episodes when each of the conflicts resolve. It is nice to know that there is an ending for everything, and that things will work out. No matter how much I want things to remain as they are, or change for the better, things can go the other way as well. But everything will be alright.
At least that is what everyone tells me.
Lowlight of the day: Staring into nothing at the end of the day.
I finished another Anime series, titled, “Zam’d,” a drama set in a fantasy world where North fights South with innocents in the middle, science versus religion, good and evil, cause and consequence, love and hate.
The pace was very slow, but it was intriguing to watch. Every scene added to a very rich storyline. Everybody had a role to play in the plot. Each character was developed nicely and their personalities really were obvious. What made me want to watch it even more, was the dynamics of each of the relationships between the characters. It seemed like everyone had a story of their own, and it intertwined with each other. The last few episodes revealed all of the relationship resolutions, dealing with all those conflicts.
I probably relate to it, because of those conflicts. I would probably call it internal emotional turmoil, having mixed feelings about myself and my surroundings. I almost cried at the last few episodes when each of the conflicts resolve. It is nice to know that there is an ending for everything, and that things will work out. No matter how much I want things to remain as they are, or change for the better, things can go the other way as well. But everything will be alright.
At least that is what everyone tells me.
Adventures in Albany - Day 21
Post holiday.
Having a car made me lazy, as I could stay up late and take my time driving down. I pumped petrol at a gas station all by myself (first time yo) and returned the car well before it was due. Driving was fun. I miss driving already.
Being able to drive means that I wouldn’t be depending on other people for transport. I can go anywhere I want, whenever I want, without any worry of what the driver thinks. It was like taking my own holiday during the weekend. I found myself stopping to wait on the whales to surface for minutes. For that brief 1 second worth of air spray and a glimpse of the dorsal fin, I can spend 20 minutes just standing there. I would also spend a great deal of time on taking a picture of a flower. I mean it is just a flower, I don’t know if anyone would share the same enthusiasm as I do towards macro shots.
I like flowers, I don’t know why. I don’t know since when either. I used to like taking photos of animals, but all my photos of them sucks the life out of them. They lay there inanimate and 2-dimentional. Maybe it is my technique of photography, maybe it is my camera, but I cannot seem to get the right shot. So I think I shall stick to flowers, where I can still capture their essence in a 2-dimentional picture. I am just thinking how many dimensions I need to capture if I want a good picture of an animal though.
Anyway, I managed to sit in with Dr. Knight today, just because Dr. Legget was on call and was not in the practice at the time. Having a much more enthusiastic teacher who lets me do things makes me feel more involved and I grow more confident by doing it. It was also a challenge to tell patients what diseases they have. I have never described Thrush or Hypertension to a patient before. I know what they are, I know what they can do and I know how to treat it. But it still feels weird to explain it to patients. Well, I have explained things to my parents, I guess that is a start.
This is sort of my final week of my term here in Albany. I really felt like I want to stay here in Albany a bit longer, or am I just regretting for wasting time earlier. I have to stop taking the good things for granted and missing out on opportunities when they come knocking.
WAKE UP.
Having a car made me lazy, as I could stay up late and take my time driving down. I pumped petrol at a gas station all by myself (first time yo) and returned the car well before it was due. Driving was fun. I miss driving already.
Being able to drive means that I wouldn’t be depending on other people for transport. I can go anywhere I want, whenever I want, without any worry of what the driver thinks. It was like taking my own holiday during the weekend. I found myself stopping to wait on the whales to surface for minutes. For that brief 1 second worth of air spray and a glimpse of the dorsal fin, I can spend 20 minutes just standing there. I would also spend a great deal of time on taking a picture of a flower. I mean it is just a flower, I don’t know if anyone would share the same enthusiasm as I do towards macro shots.
I like flowers, I don’t know why. I don’t know since when either. I used to like taking photos of animals, but all my photos of them sucks the life out of them. They lay there inanimate and 2-dimentional. Maybe it is my technique of photography, maybe it is my camera, but I cannot seem to get the right shot. So I think I shall stick to flowers, where I can still capture their essence in a 2-dimentional picture. I am just thinking how many dimensions I need to capture if I want a good picture of an animal though.
Anyway, I managed to sit in with Dr. Knight today, just because Dr. Legget was on call and was not in the practice at the time. Having a much more enthusiastic teacher who lets me do things makes me feel more involved and I grow more confident by doing it. It was also a challenge to tell patients what diseases they have. I have never described Thrush or Hypertension to a patient before. I know what they are, I know what they can do and I know how to treat it. But it still feels weird to explain it to patients. Well, I have explained things to my parents, I guess that is a start.
This is sort of my final week of my term here in Albany. I really felt like I want to stay here in Albany a bit longer, or am I just regretting for wasting time earlier. I have to stop taking the good things for granted and missing out on opportunities when they come knocking.
WAKE UP.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 20
It is a wonderful day.
And all I could think of is you.
I wished that you were here with me. More so, because I needed someone to take photos of me, but I also wish to share the moments with you.
I want to tell you how much I hated those who kill whales.
I also want to tell you that I also understand that people needed to earn a living from it.
But more importantly I want to know what you think about it.
I want to show off my knowledge of whales, of nature, to you. I want to show you how much I care about nature.
And I want to know how much you care.
I drove around the natural rock formations, wishing that you were navigating beside me.
And I wished that I could drive you around, instead of being driven.
I wanted to watch the waves with you, as they rhythmically splash into the rocks, creating mists of white. Just like my feelings are when I am with you, a sense of calmness among the haphazard chaos.
I want to know what your feelings were.
I felt like I could spread my wings and fly if you by my side, as I stood at the peak of the hill overlooking the peninsular.
I wanted to complain about how tired I am walking alongside the coast, but if you were there, I would only think about how the coast looks as beautiful you.
And finally, as I stood watching the sunset, I wish that I could sit through every sunset with you from this day on, till the end of days.
I wish there was a you.
And all I could think of is you.
I wished that you were here with me. More so, because I needed someone to take photos of me, but I also wish to share the moments with you.
I want to tell you how much I hated those who kill whales.
I also want to tell you that I also understand that people needed to earn a living from it.
But more importantly I want to know what you think about it.
I want to show off my knowledge of whales, of nature, to you. I want to show you how much I care about nature.
And I want to know how much you care.
I drove around the natural rock formations, wishing that you were navigating beside me.
And I wished that I could drive you around, instead of being driven.
I wanted to watch the waves with you, as they rhythmically splash into the rocks, creating mists of white. Just like my feelings are when I am with you, a sense of calmness among the haphazard chaos.
I want to know what your feelings were.
I felt like I could spread my wings and fly if you by my side, as I stood at the peak of the hill overlooking the peninsular.
I wanted to complain about how tired I am walking alongside the coast, but if you were there, I would only think about how the coast looks as beautiful you.
And finally, as I stood watching the sunset, I wish that I could sit through every sunset with you from this day on, till the end of days.
I wish there was a you.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 19
Depressing version:
I woke up too early for my taste, so that I can catch the sunrise. I kept making trips back and forth from my room to the car, forgetting small stuff like my jacket and glasses. By the time I was on the road, it was already quite bright, and I missed the first light.
When I got to my chosen lookout point, I could see the sun rising, but the sun was rising from the mountains, and not the sea as I thought it would be like. The weather was also cruel, being so cold and cloudy. I guess I should have gone to another location for me to catch the sun rising from the sea. But I was too late to go anywhere else.
Towards the end of sunrise, the rainclouds were already covering most of the morning sky. It even started drizzling as I drove back to my room. It didn’t look at all enticing weather.
I got on board the catamaran sail boat hoping that the weather will improve. We all sat down and listened to what the captain had to say. He gave a lengthy speech about random stuff, and after the other ships had set sail, we set off. Being set off late and trudging along at a slow pace, I could see the other boat in the distance. What irritated me was that there was a whale next to that boat and not ours. By the time we got close enough, the whale was moving away.
We decided to move to the deeper waters to find other whales. Though the captain had a good feeling that we might find whales at a certain spot, some guy on the boat thought he saw a whale behind us. So we turned around, away from the calmer waters to the deeper side. It was 30mins before we found anything. We tried to follow it, but it was moving away as expected. By then, it was already time to go back and so we did.
Oh yeah, my camera battery ran out 1 hour into the tour, before we saw any whales. I really wished that my camera battery lasted longer, and that I had more control over the functions of the camera, like focus and zoom. I also wished that I had more memory in the camera so that I can take endless shots without any worry.
Because of the chase that we did, we arrived back late, and I was too tired to go anywhere else fancy. So I went to the Amity Ship museum to see what was there. I had to pay $4 for the entry, and I learnt NOTHING from that. I didn’t get any good shots either. I listened to a relatively boring commentary about the origins of Albany and explored a claustrophobic ship. I got bored easily.
I ended up going back and taking a nap. By sunset, the clouds did not want to clear, so I decided not to go to the ANZAC memorials. The evening was partly wasted in the end.
Happier version:
I managed to catch the beautiful sunrise today. Despite it rising from the mountains instead of the sea, it was still beautiful. The sky turned from black, to blue, to red, to orange and back to sky blue. That’s half the spectrum of the rainbow, and that’s even before the sun was up. When the sun finally appeared, the sun rays pierced the darkness of the clouds and the land. It was really a sight to see.
I got back into the car when the drizzle started, and headed back to my room. I quickly downloaded the pictures I just took so that I can have an empty memory card for the whale watching tour. I had time to kill, so I went to upload them to facebook.
I don’t know whether I chose the right boat to be on, but I was sort of glad that I choose the catamaran. The skipper was a cheery person, who gave interesting stories and facts about his adventures. He gave facts about the surroundings and the wildlife that appeared throughout the journey. I liked the way he treated the whales not as exhibits but as living creatures with feelings and fears. I really admire him for that.
After spending time with our first encounter with the whale, we went to search for other whales. We managed to find one after an hour of searching. The whale actually jumped out of the water. It was really a sight that I wanted to witness for myself, but I never thought that I would actually see one. It was really a majestic sight, even though it was for a split second, and I would remember it forever. After following it around for a while, the skipper decided that we were bothering them more than anything, so we headed back, hoping to catch another whale or two.
Although we didn’t at least I managed to see whales in the wild. I was happy.
I went on to visit the other attraction in Albany town centre, the Amity Ship Museum. The ship itself was a disappointment, but the museum next door was much more exciting for me. I found out once more that I like natural history rather than human history. I don’t know why, but I find animal skeletons intriguing. It is not that I want to see lots of it, I just feel that these little things that makes me think about how much similarities we have with animals. I felt part of nature once again today, and that I am happy being on this Earth.
I woke up too early for my taste, so that I can catch the sunrise. I kept making trips back and forth from my room to the car, forgetting small stuff like my jacket and glasses. By the time I was on the road, it was already quite bright, and I missed the first light.
When I got to my chosen lookout point, I could see the sun rising, but the sun was rising from the mountains, and not the sea as I thought it would be like. The weather was also cruel, being so cold and cloudy. I guess I should have gone to another location for me to catch the sun rising from the sea. But I was too late to go anywhere else.
Towards the end of sunrise, the rainclouds were already covering most of the morning sky. It even started drizzling as I drove back to my room. It didn’t look at all enticing weather.
I got on board the catamaran sail boat hoping that the weather will improve. We all sat down and listened to what the captain had to say. He gave a lengthy speech about random stuff, and after the other ships had set sail, we set off. Being set off late and trudging along at a slow pace, I could see the other boat in the distance. What irritated me was that there was a whale next to that boat and not ours. By the time we got close enough, the whale was moving away.
We decided to move to the deeper waters to find other whales. Though the captain had a good feeling that we might find whales at a certain spot, some guy on the boat thought he saw a whale behind us. So we turned around, away from the calmer waters to the deeper side. It was 30mins before we found anything. We tried to follow it, but it was moving away as expected. By then, it was already time to go back and so we did.
Oh yeah, my camera battery ran out 1 hour into the tour, before we saw any whales. I really wished that my camera battery lasted longer, and that I had more control over the functions of the camera, like focus and zoom. I also wished that I had more memory in the camera so that I can take endless shots without any worry.
Because of the chase that we did, we arrived back late, and I was too tired to go anywhere else fancy. So I went to the Amity Ship museum to see what was there. I had to pay $4 for the entry, and I learnt NOTHING from that. I didn’t get any good shots either. I listened to a relatively boring commentary about the origins of Albany and explored a claustrophobic ship. I got bored easily.
I ended up going back and taking a nap. By sunset, the clouds did not want to clear, so I decided not to go to the ANZAC memorials. The evening was partly wasted in the end.
Happier version:
I managed to catch the beautiful sunrise today. Despite it rising from the mountains instead of the sea, it was still beautiful. The sky turned from black, to blue, to red, to orange and back to sky blue. That’s half the spectrum of the rainbow, and that’s even before the sun was up. When the sun finally appeared, the sun rays pierced the darkness of the clouds and the land. It was really a sight to see.
I got back into the car when the drizzle started, and headed back to my room. I quickly downloaded the pictures I just took so that I can have an empty memory card for the whale watching tour. I had time to kill, so I went to upload them to facebook.
I don’t know whether I chose the right boat to be on, but I was sort of glad that I choose the catamaran. The skipper was a cheery person, who gave interesting stories and facts about his adventures. He gave facts about the surroundings and the wildlife that appeared throughout the journey. I liked the way he treated the whales not as exhibits but as living creatures with feelings and fears. I really admire him for that.
After spending time with our first encounter with the whale, we went to search for other whales. We managed to find one after an hour of searching. The whale actually jumped out of the water. It was really a sight that I wanted to witness for myself, but I never thought that I would actually see one. It was really a majestic sight, even though it was for a split second, and I would remember it forever. After following it around for a while, the skipper decided that we were bothering them more than anything, so we headed back, hoping to catch another whale or two.
Although we didn’t at least I managed to see whales in the wild. I was happy.
I went on to visit the other attraction in Albany town centre, the Amity Ship Museum. The ship itself was a disappointment, but the museum next door was much more exciting for me. I found out once more that I like natural history rather than human history. I don’t know why, but I find animal skeletons intriguing. It is not that I want to see lots of it, I just feel that these little things that makes me think about how much similarities we have with animals. I felt part of nature once again today, and that I am happy being on this Earth.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Adventures in Albany - Day 18
07.08.09 Happy birthday, Evonne Toh. ^_^
I finally managed to rent a car for the weekend. My driving skills are a bit rusty, but I got used to the car after a while. I remembered that I was a bit more scared at driving back when I helped Evelyn rent the ute. I don’t know why I was ok this time round. Maybe because it is an automatic? But I had fun driving around today.
I have the weekend planned out. Tomorrow I will be starting with a whaling tour in a slight shower. Hopefully the whales come out to play like they have been doing lately. I remembered that I love Humpback whales. I hope to catch a glimpse of them at least. I hope I hope I hope.
I also watched a Ben Aflek movie on TV, Man About Town. The movie was the journal of Jack, a successful man in the script writing industry. At the beginning, they show him in a journal writing class, which intrigued me. Lesson two, write about your secrets. It really felt wrong, to write about things like that. Journals are meant to be personal, but in the event that it gets stolen, these secrets will be exposed, like in the movie. However, the more I think about it, these secrets are the essence of any good story. Jack tells us his secrets, and in the process, we learnt why his wife cheated on him, and why she still loves him. I really like the movie.
It told me how to write journals.
It told me about taking that leap and going for what you dream and not sit there waiting for someone to take it away from you.
It told me about forgiving and forgetting.
I like the scene where the two of them stood across each other, with a salt water fish tank in the middle. Although they were face to face talking, they really were an ocean apart. The ending though, showed them IN the very same tank, together at last. I dunno if the writers purposely put that in, but I was intrigued with what I found. Maybe I read too much into the movie, but I took many lessons from it.
I was annoyed though, because my father called me halfway to tell me about my niece, just as they showed the climax of the movie. I missed out on the revelation between the two of them. I missed out on the play of words used during their telephone conversation, as his responses were applied to multiple listeners. Now I have to get a copy of the movie so that I can watch it again.
At the end of the day, I commend on the script writers and the creators of the movie, for such an interesting movie. I hope that I can improve my journal writing skills. I feel like creating another blog, and make it an anonymous blog with really deep personal journal entries. Who knows…
I finally managed to rent a car for the weekend. My driving skills are a bit rusty, but I got used to the car after a while. I remembered that I was a bit more scared at driving back when I helped Evelyn rent the ute. I don’t know why I was ok this time round. Maybe because it is an automatic? But I had fun driving around today.
I have the weekend planned out. Tomorrow I will be starting with a whaling tour in a slight shower. Hopefully the whales come out to play like they have been doing lately. I remembered that I love Humpback whales. I hope to catch a glimpse of them at least. I hope I hope I hope.
I also watched a Ben Aflek movie on TV, Man About Town. The movie was the journal of Jack, a successful man in the script writing industry. At the beginning, they show him in a journal writing class, which intrigued me. Lesson two, write about your secrets. It really felt wrong, to write about things like that. Journals are meant to be personal, but in the event that it gets stolen, these secrets will be exposed, like in the movie. However, the more I think about it, these secrets are the essence of any good story. Jack tells us his secrets, and in the process, we learnt why his wife cheated on him, and why she still loves him. I really like the movie.
It told me how to write journals.
It told me about taking that leap and going for what you dream and not sit there waiting for someone to take it away from you.
It told me about forgiving and forgetting.
I like the scene where the two of them stood across each other, with a salt water fish tank in the middle. Although they were face to face talking, they really were an ocean apart. The ending though, showed them IN the very same tank, together at last. I dunno if the writers purposely put that in, but I was intrigued with what I found. Maybe I read too much into the movie, but I took many lessons from it.
I was annoyed though, because my father called me halfway to tell me about my niece, just as they showed the climax of the movie. I missed out on the revelation between the two of them. I missed out on the play of words used during their telephone conversation, as his responses were applied to multiple listeners. Now I have to get a copy of the movie so that I can watch it again.
At the end of the day, I commend on the script writers and the creators of the movie, for such an interesting movie. I hope that I can improve my journal writing skills. I feel like creating another blog, and make it an anonymous blog with really deep personal journal entries. Who knows…
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