Two Timer?

You may find it disloyal or what not, but it is possible to find yourself loving two women at once. For me, I conclude that for every man, there are two souls that are made for him. Of all the women in the world, a man will ever love only these two. Both of which he will do anything to protect and is willing to sacrifice his life for.

The first, he will find, pursue and in the end, marry and cherish forever and grow old with. The second will have his unconditional and undying love, and he will do anything to keep her safe from harm.

To my first soulmate: I promise to love you, to be there to support you, to be who you need me to be, to be a better person for you, to be your crying shoulder, to listen to your worries, to tell you how pretty you are everyday, to hold your hand and never let go.

To my second soulmate: I promise to take care of you, never to let anything bad happen to you, to make you happy, to teach you all that I know, teach you what is good and all that is good in this world, so may you grow strong and beautiful.

This post is dedicated to the heroes of our world, inspired by:
24 – Jack Bauer’s love for his daughter, Kim
Love in the Driest Season – Neely Tucker and his quest to adopt Chipo
The Emperor’s Embrace – a story of the evolution of fatherhood
The Lord of the Rings – Elrond, wanting safe haven for Arwen

I Wish I Had a Camera

Today I made a trip to KL in search of much needed old memory. Walking through the corridors of Sungei Wang reminded me a lot about myself. My early childhood was spent here whilst my father repaired the home pc at Imbi. I watched the shops evolved as they added new floors and more shops. Now it has become more of a fashion hub, for both clothes & accessories as well as electronic goods.

Hundreds of geeks flock to the scientific side and hundreds of Ah Bengs and Ah Lians flock to the greater parts of the complex. These teenage girls with their skimpy or somewhat sensual outfits reminded me much of my pornographic collection, and deepened my preference of Chinese girls. Back in Australia, I'm only exposed to Caucasian females. Big features maybe enticing, but give me Asian beauties anytime.

Satisfying my eyes with this pleasantry, I began to wonder about the question, why do girls like dressing up. A friend once answered that it is because they feel more confident about themselves. And also that they think guys only like than it they are sexy. Can't argue there... It's only natural that we choose a sexier or hunkier counterpart. Unfortunate for us geeks on the 6th floor.

But pretty girls was not the reason why I wanted a camera. At the camera shop on the 6th floor, I fell in love with sleek and sexy model. I could not get my eyes or hands off. The manager let me play with this beauty all I want. The Canon 400D.

I was always interested in photography, but never had the chance to do so. I never did have the time to research on how to produce quality photos and never the right equipment for it. It's still a dream until I can afford to fork out RM3500... Oh well, there is always Chinese New Year and my Birthday coming soon... With the meager amount of money I had, I settled instead for the outdated memory card I was looking for.

And now the real reason why I wanted a Camera:
To capture a scene whereby a police car driving along Petaling Street, passing not less then 5 stalls selling pirated DVD's and nothing happened.

Bath of a lifetime

She told me that she was going to do something special with me that fine day. I knew from the look in her eye that I was, going to enjoy it. All I could do was to smile back.

I did not have any clue at all as to what it was. But to me, doing anything with this lady whom I have grew to love will be good. Everything that she has done so far was to show how much she loved me. I could not even begin to show how much I loved her in return.

That night, we both got ready for what was planned for me. I was excited. She had already allowed me to touch and suck on her lovely breasts, and that was a really lovely time, truly an enriching moment. I could only wonder what she would let me do later.

She called me from the bedroom, telling me that she was ready. I replied that I was ready too. She picked me up and started undressing me like she always did. Soon, was stark naked in front of this beautiful and wonderful lady. She led me into the bathroom and revealed that she was going to give me a bath!

She had the tub filled with warm water. She tested the water, making sure that it was perfect for me. She was always careful with everything she does with me and again I really appreciated her presence. Slowly, I was lowered into the water. It was a little shocking at first, but her face was so calm and she was encouraging me. As I got used to the water, I started laughing.

She got down on her knees and started rubbing me everywhere. She used a mixture of the warn water and some soap to clean my body. Every stoke was a gentle carress, which I enjoyed more and more. She touched me in places that I would not have thought of. She did not even spare the inbetween of my toes and I was subjected to a little torture of being tickled. I never knew that taking a bath could he so much fun!

About 30 minutes later, we were done.

This was nearly 24 years ago and the memory has been long forgotten, but my parents both can recall this memorable moment. All I can say now is that I love them and can only wish that I could show the same kind of love to my children.

Into the New Year

It’s been only a week into the New Year and already I have broken my resolutions. I had promised myself to abstain from sex this year. But hormones were raging through my system ever since I saw her last. I have been having vivid dreams of her in my room pleasuring me all over and it did not help me get through this week well. Every night I am torn, between my resolution to come clean this year, and my desire for her. Tonight, I finally gave in… I called her.
She came into my room knowing what I wanted, as if she herself had put this spell on me. In a business matter, she took off her jacket and tossed it together with her hand bag over the couch. She was wearing her black dress, the one that I loved. For most of the year, that was what she wore whenever we saw each other. As if it wasn’t enough, she was also wearing the perfume that would always brought me to my knees. It was a scent that set off a repeat button of erotic scenes through my head.

She grabbed me in my weakened state and pushed me into the bed. She smiled, and I felt paralyzed. I was having second thoughts, but also thought about seconds. I am trapped in my own doings and I lay there helpless as she started taking off my pants. Before I knew it, I was there in my underwear and she was kneeling down on top of me.

She slowly undid her dress. So sensually and so slowly that it was annoyingly erotic. She bent over and kissed me. Her lips tasted so sweet, so intoxicating. I felt her tongue on mine and I fought back. Our tongues twisted around each other, savouring what each other can do. We knew what each other wanted and we both were pleasured. I wanted her so badly…

By the time we came apart, she was almost naked. Her hands were guiding mine to the hooks of her bra. Instinctively, and skillfully, my pressed on the hooks and the bra popped open. Even though I knew how perfect and beautiful her breasts were, I was gazing into her eyes. She need not be naked, as I loved her beauty already with her clothes on, may it be a loose t-shirt or a bikini. She made me weak. She melts me.

She was the kind of person who makes me want to be a better man. We both knew my flaws and she corrects the, and complements them. With her, I can only think of protecting her with all my heart. I don’t know whether it was the spell that she put on me, but I loved protecting her. I felt useful. She made me function, she made me whole.

I knew if we both stopped, I will be stronger. This was a little sacrifice to take to ensure that this relationship will go further. No, it shouldn’t be a sacrifice. It should be something that I want to do. It was my decision to not have sex with her this year and it was up to me to do it. I was so close to breaking it so early in the year.

We ended up just hugging each other naked and not doing anything. I didn’t have to say anything. She understood me so well. She fell asleep in my arms and I could not help but watch her sleep. All of my worries seemed to have passed whenever I see this sweet angel of mine in my arms.

I survived my first week.

1 week

First week back, and this is the summary of the things I ate:
3 plates of Nasi Lemak
10 sticks of Satay
3 pieces of Roti Canai
1 bowl of Hokkien Mee
3 Jackfruits
19 strawberries
3 apples
9 bananas
some bars of chocolate
5 bowls of Wanton Mee
1 plate of ChapFan
1 plate of mamak mee
1 plate of Rojak

And this is a list of things I still want to eat:
Charsiew Pao
Chee Cheong Fun
Fried Kuey Teow
Lor Mai Kai
chinese rojak
KFC, McD

I can't believe that I've already been back for 1 week. All I have done is watch Scrubs, and now Animal Planet and National Geographic 12 hrs a day. I guess I can say I eat, watch TV, sleep. (Damn, I forgot to shit... I think I have worms. Have to check that out...)

Update

Well...
Been on World of Warcraft all this while. Finally got my cat mount, I am so happy.
Moved to the new place. Tiring, but I managed it alone.
Watched countless movies. Will try to make reviews later. As of now, go watch HAPPY FEET.
Finally home. To think that there will be so much to do... Oh, the food... I have yet to eat everything that I want to...

Right now, all I am doing is watching Scrubs and all the movies that has been collecting dust over the years. I am also enjoying Animal Planet and National Geographic on my limited Astro service. Computer games seems unappealing nowadays as I cannot replace WoW. I watch all there is to watch, and try to read as much as I can. Even though 1 month is quite a long time, it will pass.

Anyway, this is the list of movies that I have watched over this few weeks:
Ali G: bling bling
Borat
Monster House
Happy Feet
World Trade Centre
Underworld: Evolution
Cheaper by the Dozen II
American Pie: Band Camp
Heart and Souls
You, Me and Dupree
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (first half)

I went on my first walk since I got back. Its probably the first walk I had this year. Its nice to finally feel the wet earth benneth your feet, with the smell of fresh rubber off the tree, skipping stones acorss the muddy pond teeming with tadpoles. A fresh wave of mosquitoes hovering over your body. I miss all of this. Sure, I have a river I walk along every once in a while, but the jungle is something that I grew up with. I wish I can get back to my primal state, and not rely on the comforts of life anymore.

I remember the times when we used to climb trees and go on little adventures around the neighbourhood with my siblings. We used to play in the mud, capture tadpoles and get all dirty, before taking baths together. I can't remember when was the last time I was able to take a bath in the rain, or under the moonlight. That little walk I had just brought back so many memories of home.

Well, back to indulging in being home

Post Exam Post

It's been one week since my exams. I have filled my time since then playing World of Warcraft and watching Anime. The funny thing about Anime is how much it resembles real life, yet so comical about it. I get interesting perpectives from watching them... The question is always, why does the bestest girl go after the simplest guy? Not the fancy pants, not the playboy, not the manly guy, but the specky nerd-like guy. Even if the good looking one is as kind and gentle as the main hero. So the next question would be, WHAT DO WOMEN WANT???

The latest Anime I am watching is Love Hina. I once caught a border in RI Boarding watching it during prep time, and made him write a 500 word essay on why he was watching it. Reading his synopsis was interesting and the way he described it was that it was a show with lots of nudity. But after watching it, I find it even more interesting with NO NUDITY. The beginning was funny, as with most Anime, but as the story progresses, it gets deeper and more of the handling life stuff. This story is mostly about chasing your dreams.

While I was beginning to enjoy myself watching it, the dreaded scene comes along... Exams. Then, I suddenly had a rush of adrenaline and my heart raced. The feeling of dread comes back and again I feel like I was going to fail my exams. They would probably start calling people tomorrow and thursday before the results on Friday. If you don't get called by then, it SHOULD look bright. Then again, as I type, the feeling starts coming back.

My mother keeps telling me to pray but I don't feel that it helps. I need spiritual comfort, she says. It is something that I have been missing for a long time. I don't feel any spirit in me anymore, yet my Priest in WoW needs lots of it to heal. Ironic how that even in games, they tie in to my life. Maybe I am just too conscious about how games and Anime and books tie into my life like that. Maybe it's a sign...

Anyway, Happy Belated Birthdays to everyone from 22 October to 6 November! I count at least 7 of you... ^_^!