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YO yo yo… waddup waddup?! It’s bin two long, man, too long! Howit doin, mon? You, me, wees gotta ketchup, sorait? Whayou bin up to dis past month?

Me? Me bin seeting them tests. Goddam failed both. Buh zits cool. Gonna makup forit. Gonna get sum private classes one on one. Should be good, ainit? Ah steal dunchno whada ell went wrong. Them pracs we had, ah did well, see? Ah, its juz ma luck.

Coulda been my goin out to parrrrteeeee! Been doin dat ev’ry weekend man, ev’ry weekend! Weekend iz de time to parrrteee, hell yea! Celebrating birsdays, watchin them moveez. Last wun eyes saw was “Thank You For Smoking”. It wuz smokin I’z tell ya. Funnie az ell. Freakin lessons and wud shit too! Tok about winning arguments and what shit. And dun screw wid them reporters. Them reporters may have smokin bods, but they aint for screwin. Ya can touch, hold, even squeeze, buh keep ya li’l fren in ya pants, kay? Smokin good movie.

Nuthin else ah wanna say. Gimme a holla, ya sunova bee-yach.