Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The Tides

I refrain from using the word "roller coaster" to describe how I have been these past few weeks, and instead, I am using "the Tides" as my title. Partly because I couldn't spell the word 'coaster' but also because I think I was stagnant and it was not a ride.

I finished my final exam exactly 1 month ago. For the others, it was the last exam they will ever have. For me, it was just the beginning of the end. It was the beginning of the long train of goodbyes, people leaving me as they head off for their well earned holidays. This is why I cannot use 'roller coaster' as I am the one stationary and others are zooming around me. The exam was hellish, one of the more difficult exams I've been through... But eventually, I got the good news the week after with the phone call.

I've dreaded phone calls for a long time, especially since I failed my 5th year the first time round, and recieving 2 calls saying that I failed. This phone call was not as bad, and was more of good news to me. I already knew that I had to resit a couple of assessments long ago, and it was not a surprise to me. Even more good news was that I only had to do 2 weeks instead of the 4 weeks as planned previously. This would mean that I could have some time to have a short holiday. I have to say, though I still fear phone calls, I enjoyed recieving that one.

After that, there was the Dedication ceremony. That was goodbye to many of my friends, many of which I would probably never see ever again apart from the Convocation next year. I could not dedicate with them, I could not be up there to hear my name called, I could not be proud to have my parents in the crowd to cheer me on. I had to rush to obtain as many friends' signatures as possible, and in the process forgot to spend time with the people that mattered the most to me. It was a happy occasion, but it was a really sad day for me then, very emotional... I almost cried...

The following Monday, I started my remediation. Again it was many ups and downs. Scared by the consultant and got grilled, but had a good time in the wards. A different consultant marked my assessments, which gave me better marks than I expected, but I had to show my log book and got grilled again. I was pretty broken at the end of it though. But I got through.

I finally made it. I finally graduated from 6 1/2 years of Med School. The relief was overwhelming. I was happy that I have passed. I was nervous of starting afresh in Adelaide.

That was a Friday... and I had no hopes of getting home early. And I grew sad that I could not meet up with my friends in Singapore. I grew sad that I had said goodbye to everyone, especially to those whom I will really really miss. I miss them already...

Friday, they promised that I would get the documents ready on Monday. But Monday, the deans were busy with the 5th years' results. Tuesday, they still were busy... I was already half annoyed by then... But they finally gave me a call at lunch time and had it all prepared for me. And that was it. I was done. Officially, with documents and all, I was done.

I finally could book my flight home and pack all my things.

My life in Perth could fit in 4 boxes.

That was my 'ride'. So many ups and downs, more than what I could fit in here. Ironically I felt stagnant, like the tides, rising and falling throughout the day. I stay there, watching things come, and friends go. I never liked saying goodbye, and I said it more often tham I would have liked. I am really going to miss all of you. I am emotionally drained, but the burden have finally been lifted off my aching shoulders. A chapter ends, and another one begins.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Vivendi ratio, Moriendi ratio, Amandi ratio, Pugnandi ratio

I feel that most apocalyptic movies try to potray different aspects of the end of times, mostly the good human qualities such as honour, justice, heroism, self-sacrifice... But 2012 showed many other real human reactions. Despite the cheesey storyline and exagerated graphics (which were still cool), I acually kind of like it.

How would you handle the end of days? Living life as there is no tomorrow? Drowning yourself in indulgence? Taking your own life to prove that you are stil in control? Doing what is good and right until the end? Congregate en mass in prayer? Make amends with long lost relationsships? Spending every last seconds with someone you love and care about?

What are you willing to do before the end? What are you willing to give in order to survive?

In 2012, they could only save a selected few. Who would you choose? This was like selecting the 23 people for the next Zion in the Matrix. You would want the brightest scientists, best leaders... I would also think they will select workers and fit and healthy people. But in reality, to undertake such a project, they needed so much funding that they have to sell seats to the rich and famous as well. And some of the rich and famous are not nice people... I felt that it became more of a political, business-like situation, which tickles me a lot.

It was so also hilariously iconic to see cameos of famous figures. Imagine a moderately obese lady with in a blue English schoolgirl outfit and matching blue bowler hat, carrying a big typically old lady handbag dragging her 2 Welsh Corgie dogs. Imagine an Autrian sounding blond in front of a podium annoucing to the people of LA that everything is alright.

Anyway, there were also many miniscule plots which at first I thought just wasted time, but actually potrayed these human reactions and added to my experience of the show. They could have done more destruction and less of the adventure stuff in the movie.

There were also many interpretations of the movie which I found interesting. Like how the 3 major developed continents (save Australia); North America, Europe, and Asia were the ones that made it... just like Christopher Columbus and his 3 ships found America... and how they ended up going to Africa, where human life first begin...

Concurrently, this movie just reminds me of my last two weeks here. It was all about goodbyes. I would probably never see any of my friends here in Perth anymore, not for a very long time. I hate to say goodbye to the people I care about. I said too many goodbyes these last two weeks. I am exhausted with all emotions that I have been feeling. I wish that we all can be in same ark, to start our new working lives together... I don't know what I would give to have that.

I will miss all of you...

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