Nightmares

Lately, I have been plagued by nightmares. Not really scary ones, but enough to wake me up a few times at night in a cold sweat. It doesn't help that mosquitoes are constantly buzzing at your ear. I mean, I switch on the fan to blow away the mosquitoes, and end up awake because of un-oiled buzzing fan noise. Unrestful sleep.

Dream 1:
I attribute this dream to too much travelling during the CNY period and watching too much Amazing Race Asia. I mean they screened the whole season 3 back to back on CNY day.

So in my dream, I drive/run from toll-gate to tell-gate, and have to do various tasks there, to get through to the next toll-gate. While being chased by something... Another team, with guns or something. Anyway, its just running and running...

Dream 2:
I can't think of any reference for this one, but it is about me being a spy in the other team's camp, and the teams are like police vs terrorists. They really kill. At least in my dreams. Then something like a get together, a contest if you will, between the two factions. And I am in between the whole mess.

In the end, I end up running from the two factions, through neutral cities. And for some strange reason I am suddenly resourceful, like Macguyver, in escaping...

Dream 3:
I probably miss my computer too much with this one. I dreamt that I finally reached home, where my computer is. And instead of playing my favourite game, I get too much distraction to play it. It isn't much of a nightmare, but it is really weird. I dreamt as though it was second nature to me to turn on my computer when I get home, but I don't use it. It was like it became a habit to turn it on, but not to use it. I DON'T NOT USE COMPUTERS. I don't know how else to discribe it. It wasn't me in my dream. IT WASN'T ME.

I cannot remember my other dreams, but it was weird dreams. I am pretty sure I will get more tonight... we'll see...


Edit:
Dream 4:
As I suspected, I will have another bizzaire dream and it came through. I dreamt that I was in Singapore, trying to locate the 5x5x5 Rubik cube. While I searched the stores along Orchard Road, I stumbled upon a charity function, and unintendedly won some prize. I also manage to meet up with my band mates from NJC, who also helped me look for the cube. Despite that, I didn't get the cube. And suddenly it was a race to the airport and it was nearing my departure time.

I guess this dream stemmed from my desire to get hold of the cube and me worrying about making it on time for my flight tomorrow. I know for a fact that even though we check in 2hours earlier, we can still hang around doing nothing for quite some time before boarding. But my last flight home, we were actually called to board, something that never happens to time conscious people like me and Chua... weirder things have happened though...

Next rotation

I finally got my new harddisk running and everything should be going smoothly as it should. Everything seems to be running, and I pray nothing happens to it now. The only thing is that my computer freezes when I am utilizing too much graphics. Time to upgrade my graphics card. The question is, whether I should get something that really boosts my graphic experience, or just get what is cheap? Next step, monitor...

I also get to do all the online stuff and overdued reports and assignments. Funny that even though I know the theory of writing reports, I can never get about doing one right. Is it because I don't have enough experience? or because I don't read what other people have done? Either way, I am lacking in that part still. Though I do not have to do any reports until next year now.

I am on my first day of a new term, O&G. The last term. Which means I have 11 weeks before my exams again. I have 11 weeks to revise what I have learnt over the past 2 years. 11 weeks to get into gear and pass the exams this time round.

If not, that is the end of my career in medicine.

"Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true" ~Gabriella, High School Musical

Time...

I just reformatted my HD and reinstalled all the programs that I needed...

Now I am in the process of adding sites to my bookmarks. I guess it became a habit of mine back when I was in Singapore to visit a certain series of websites, decipher.com, ecircles.com, circles99.com, communityzero.com, hotmail.com and a few more that I cannot remember. Anyway, I since it was imprinted in my memory, I decided to visit them for old times sake. Or rather I was lost to which sites I currently visit nowadays...

Surprisingly, my old circles99 groups are still there. I even checked the M203 group, which surprisingly had visits all the way since 2006 where we all dispersed from Bukit Jalil campus, albeit the once a month random visit. Last entry was Febuary this year and the previous one was August 2006.

With this feeling of nostalgia, I confided in my partner in crime, Raj, and visited old chat programs, mainly ICQ and Yahoo! Messenger. ICQ was THE chat program of the last century. I vaguely recalled my number, thus I spent 30 minutes locating ME. 41290931. I remember the time when I refused to use MSN because ICQ does it all. Anyway, I logged in... and... found no one online... (2hrs later while writing this, it is still empty). I can't really say that I am surprised, but I had a look at all my contacts, most of whom I had not talked to in a very very long time. (I also checked my 7 Yahoo! Messenger contacts, who were also not online...)

Even at one time, Friendster was a huge hit. I still see many of my contacts there log in and update stuff, but I seldom log in there now... I am putting up a message that I have permanently moved to Facebook. Yeah, Facebook... the replacement for Friendster, which replaced circles99, which replaced communityzero.com, which replaced ecircles. Facebook looks like it is going strong. I doubt that it will fall apart anytime soon. With all the applications (Graffiti, my favourite), walls and connectivity, I would give it 1 more year at least. Though, with that being said, I know of a few friends who already gave up on facebook.

Of course there is the everlasting Blogs which existed in my life since 1999. Never really got into blogs... but it's out there...

I also have a MySpace page and MSN Live Spaces. I also recently recently registered under twitter.com, pownce.com, orkut.com and jaiku.com. All ready to become the Internet's Top Community Program. Stay tuned. As for my websites, I have this blog and Picassa. And not to mention the various free porn sites. Seriously, not going to mention them.

I've come to a point where there are so many Tom, Dick and Harry Community programs, I just want to stick with one although no one wants to stick with it anymore. I used to join all these things bcause I was afraid of being left out. Frankly, I still am, but I decided to keep in contact to the people who matter and those in the immediate vicinity. I mean, like getting home addresses and occupation and stuff. It sounds like I only know a person for their use... HAHA...

I guess this is how the times have changed over the years...

Game Freak

This is a Quesionaire that I found which was meant for game developers. I've modified it to suit to the general gaming community. I'm just gonna tag it, as how every chain main starts...

Right now, my desktop...
... is in the process of a slow upgrade, starting with the CPU and motherboard. Maybe by the end of next year, I would have a totall new computer (which would probably be obsolete by then, sigh). At least I can enjoy World of Warcraft.

Games have taught me...
... so much, I don't know where to start. Don't spit into the wind. Take everything in moderation, even World of Warcraft! There is no cow level. Kane refers to Cain from the Land of Nod. Guybrush Threepwood is able to hold his breath for ten minutes. There is ALWAYS a way to solve a puzzle in PoRTaL.
Seriously. There are many lessons to be learnt from games, if you know how to look. Love, loyalty, Lawful Good, Creativity, Death.

My games are...
...ranging from 16-bit Platform games to First Person Shooters, from point-click strategy to Real Time Strategy. The only games I dont play are sport simulations and racing games. I play everything else.

My favourite game...
...has yet to be revealed to me. Top 5:
World of Warcraft
Half-life 2
Starcraft
The Longest Journey
Freespace 2
Haha, I just realised that they are all of different genres. Goes to show how diverse my interests are.

My latest game...
...was PoRTaL. Awesome game. My kind of game. Full of puzzles.
Storyline was also intriguing. You start out all alone is a test chamber with an annoying song on the radio. Really annoying. You start then jumping into blue/yellow portals completing seemingly easy tasks, level by level. Then you pick up the blue portal gun, then the yellow portal gun, and now you are on a portal spree! Then same theme playing on another radio... portal that away... nice....
Then the puzzles get tougher and tougher. By the time you know it, its the end of the tracks for you. But defiently, wanting to play with more portals, you jump away at the very end, and thus starts the actual game, with enemies and tougher terrain. At the end of 4 hours, the familiar tune starts playing again, but this time, I really am enjoying it. I downloaded it and its replaying over and over again, yet I am not one bit annoyed. Haha!

My next game...
...that I am anticipating a lot is Spore. Yes, more than Wrath of the Lich King. Its SPORE. Spore promises a game that spreads what Civilization and Empire Earth does and go back to even before humans existed. Yes, the game starts out with single cell organisms and goes on to high tech space colonization. And this is where I can guess Star Wars gets their idea for aliens. Kind of like the game Evoluion: The Game of Intelligent Life, but they are based on real fossil records. But yeah, SPORE!!!

When I go to games stores...
...I look for the cheapest games that I either want to play, or played, but would like a copy of the original.

In ten years, games will...
...mourn the loss of WoW expansions...

I will retire when...
...I die. I shall play games for as long as I live!



(the following questions removed)
i.The best part of the creative process is...
ii. I develop for PC because...

EXAMS!

I have 14 days left before my final exams. Over the last few months, I have seen friends get panic attacks, one by one, prompting them to study excessively for the exams. Frankly, I was more worried about not being worried about the incoming exams. I guess I am a too over-confident with myself and I keep putting off studying to 'tomorrow'. That was a few months ago.

I guess you can say I finally woken up from my year long sleep. The sudden realization occured during my manic episode yesterday. We went out for Dim-Sum for lunch and went shopping in the city after. I already planned to get a new computer for next year if I passed my exams, so I went to get myself new speakers. While lugging back that 10kg box home, the beautiful computer that I am going to build next year kept popping in my head. I got home, slowly put my speakers together and basking in the awesomeness surround sound from my speakers. I have no idea why, but I found more pleasure listening to 'Fields of Hope' than any other heavy bass songs that I had. It had perfect soft bass running in the background and soothed my senses...

Enough of that. As I continued listening and imagining my new computer, I came to a realization that if I do not stay in Australia, I will have to transport back my computer and speaker home. It hit me... I MUST NOT GO BACK.

So, to prevent spending a fortune on transporting back my computer and not to mention the cost of studying medicine for 5 years, I finally got started on my studying. I have 14 days left.

Oh, half a day already passed. 13 1/2 days to go.

10 Things Your Computer Hates About You

The headings were taken from PC Powerplay Australia. The article is about the things people do to their computers which shortens the life span of any computer.

1. Your cruel use of sleep deprivation
Guilty! Yep, I tend to leave my computer on for long periods of times. It's not just the endless internet surfing and Warcraft addiction, but also the use of the computer screen as a night light. When your downloads take up so much bandwidth, your house mates complain, so you have no choice but to leave it on overnight. And hence no sleep.

2. Your obsession with "free" online software
Not guilty. I don't really like installing anything into my computer. It's pure. Free might also mean demo versions, spyware or virus. Saves me the hassle of cleaning it up too.

3. Your belief that security updates are for losers
Not guilty. I don't like spyware. Who does?

4. The way you keep poking around in its inards
Guilty! What? I know what I'm doing. My RAM acts up way now and then. I have to poke around. $50 just for a diagnostic checkup isn't worth it. I mean I don't even go to see a doctor when I'm sick.

5. Your failure to afford it fresh, clean air
Not guilty. I used to keep it under the table in a corner. It whimpers now and then, especially when I play games. I take off its covering before. Then dusts get in. Sigh. Now I know it needs air. So it is on top of my desk now, taking in all the air it wants. It doesn't whimper much anymore.

6. Your baffling complacency when it comes to dust
Guilty! It says check every 6 months at least. Mine gets all clogged up within 6 days. I clean it up every 6 months though. Maybe I should clean up every month... Maybe I should clean my room first...

7. How you never buy it the best of anything
Guilty! Who has the money? Dang, that's how I lost my previous girlfriend too...

8. Your belief that antivirus software is all the protection you need
Not guilty. Again. Spyware... I hate you.

9. Your repeated failure to uninstall anything properly
Guilty! Its hard if you don't know how... I mean, there's an associated file named window.exe that might need to be deleted... should I?

10. Your gaming addiction
Guilty! The only two times games screwed up my computer is when SimCity had a virus, and newer games taking up too much space. Apparently, that's not all games can do to your computer.

Death

Death lingered around this week. In clinic, I could also smell Death in the room. The smell wasn't the usual stench of decaying matter or of rotting flesh. This smell is more common, more subtle. The patient entered the room looking pale and slow. She had difficulty walking and had to have 2 people helping her. She was overweight but it wasn't her fault. An assessment showed that her BP was 95/60 and pulse was low. She was still alert and communicative. However, she had the smell of urea in every breath she took... It was the smell of Chronic Renal Failure, the smell of impending death.

It was best that she nor her family members know about the incoming visit from the Angel of Death. It was best she be in her own bed and around familiar faces and places.

Next patient came in with peripheral oedema and shortness of breath. Again, BP was low, pulse was low. He was not active, as he ached everywhere. This time, there was just that warm damp smell. His breath was concentrated with fluids. We called the ambulance.

Third patient came in with constant severe RIF pain. She had a such a high temperature such that we could even feel her presence with the body heat and smell of sweat she was emitting. We did a pregnancy test. Good news is, she was pregnant. Bad news is, it was an ectopic pregnancy. Good news, she was going to survive. Bad news, she has to have a salphingdectomy. The Angel of Death was merciless even to the unborn zygote.

He is cruel. He even came down and took my beloved from me. I was heartbroken, but I strived for the day. I thought I could live without you. But truthfully, I can't. I needed you so much. One week without you was like decades of solitary confinement, like I was wrapped up in a glass sheet and my eyes covered and the only sound I was allowed to hear was the sound of white noise... Every day snailed by and it seemed like the hours become longer and longer as it went by. I thought was going to go crazy.


The Angel of Death always lingers. Always there. You can never escape him.

Viral Infection

My computer has been a little buggy over the weekend. It took a while to load up and whenever I open Internet Explorer, I will be directed to an antispyware site. A rogue antispyware. It gives popups about your computer being infected and you need to download antispyware programs to get rid of it. I know they are false stuff and cancelled everything, but it slowly made its way into my system anyway. So, here a page that loads everytime I open Internet Explorer and it automatically downloads spywares. And they in return download more. Never ending chain...

My quest started on Friday 11.58pm. My initial response was to reformat harddisk. Actually, 5 people told me to do so over the next few days. I was really tempted to but I took the short cut and decided to attack the virus/spyware manually. (Short cut coz I didn't want to go through all the backing up, file transfers, reinstalling everything...). I talked to Raj the expert and downloaded a few antivirus/antispyware programs to hope to get rid of it, but this little bugger is dodgy (wow, aussie words) and reinstalls itself everytime I restart the computer. I gave up.

My next step was to go search the world wide web for more information about how to get rid of it. It really helps when you know what to look for. The Net is both blessing and a pain. Anyway, after searching a few websites, taking down notes, experimenting on my comp, I finally deleted the suspected files manually from my sacred Windows folder.

Lo and Behold... Them popups no bothering me anymore. I checked the time, it was 2am Tuesday.

I restarted my computer just to make sure. A few times. I was happy.

Now, I am feeling sick in the gut, lethargic, muscle ache and back pain. I think I caught a virus.



I'll just post up the irritating file name and what I did. Go google to see full instructions.

1. Turn off systemrestore
2. Restart in safe mode
3. Delete the following files. All these files were found in my Windows/system32 folder:
regperf.exe
simpole.tlb
dcomcfg.exe
hp???.tmp
ld???.tmp
stdole3.tlb
(can't remember what else...)
4. Delete some things from the registry regarding these files
5. Restart
6. Change homepage before opening Internet Explorer
7, 8, 9, & 10. Restart to make sure.

4 More Days...

To be more accurate, the sentance ends with: ...till I know whether I'll be flying on the 9th or not. Yep, I have NOT heard about my visa yet, so I might leave suddenly on the 9th or later. Just my luck to get haematuria at this point in time.

I have just completed Phase 1. Phase 1 was a gruesome challenge, taking a lot of my time and effort. Initially, I thought I might not make it, but after a little coaching and help from my parents, I managed to complete it, with extra's as well. There were a lot of doubts and worries, that I might not make it, but with a lot of reorganising, it was finally done. In the end, it wasn't a close shave, but far from it. I really had lots of room in the end. I could breathe easily now. And I because of that, I will be getting new medical books! oh joy! Well, that's the end of Phase 1: the Packing of the Bag.

I am actually halfway through Phase 2 and Phase 3. My desktop (yes my DESKTOP) is actually the same size as my monitor, but not as slim though. But still, I can actually fit both CPU AND monitor into a carry on luggage, with additional space for extra clothes. My keyboard and mouse are in Phase 1 and almost impossible to retrieve now. But I have spare mouses/mice that I can still plug in. No keyboard though. Anyways...

The books I am bringing Down Under are Kumar & Clark, baby Talleys, baby Patho, Oxford Hndbook of Clinical Medicine and Surgery. And if there is space, I can even bring papa Patho or Dorlands. And IF they close one eye, I think I can smuggle in a novel or two. What I will definitely bring onboard is a crossword book that I bought with Evelyn. Something to do on a 5 hour flight...

What I have decided not to bring (or rather don't have the means of getting it) is a PDA. I could fill it with programs here, but sadly they ran out of the beautifullest of models, with built in bluetooth, WiFi, 128mb worth of accesible memory, and a camera. No other model can top it for that price. That was the year end sale. It's never coming back... However, my eyes turned to the Dell Axim series, where there is similar features, with more speed, but less memory no camera. However, it only deals stuff online and takes a week to deliver. So much for getting a PDA. But who knows, I might not need it there.

Another problem that awaits me Down Under is accomodation. I can save loads if I manage to share with my collegues, but it seems like they have other ideas in mind. I can't change their minds, but I do wish though, that I would still get a roof over my head. As of right now, I think I do NOT have any accomodation at the campus.

The Aussie Dollar has also been increasing, last I checked was 2.7, but now it is 2.85. Oh well. another headache there. This will also be a new year resolution (for me to break) to keep track of my expenses to the 5 cent. Hopefully, I can save enough to actually live a social life, even if it was for a day.

Anyways... wish me luck

It's been slightly more than a week in the new Semester...

Things I have been doing:
1. New graphics card. ATI Radeon 9600Pro.

this leads to...

2. More computer games run smoother.

which leads to...

3. New study schedule to compensate the slacking days in the past. Now I have study in it balanced with computer.

which leads to...

4. Hoping for a better grade, etc. I have managed to skim through Sem 4 pretty well, so I just need touching up. Need a good report for...

5. PMS Matching system: You can only go anywhere you want if you have a good enough report card.

Aih, new challenges await...