Strangers: Angela

The following are fictional writing and any resemblance to actual events are purely coincidental:

It was supposed to be just another day at work; long and uneventful, but safe. Who would have known that my boss was such a jerk? I had to leave. He had no right to come on to me like that. He came into my office, with a promise of a long awaited promotion. But he also brought in his 'moves,' hinting that I will never get out of my position if I do not sleep with him. I thought I had to, but the more I dwelled on it, the more disgusted I was of myself for even thinking of it. I was fortunate that the strong smell of his cigarette stench emanating from his mouth when he tried to kiss me brought me back to my sense.

I managed to hold on to my tears all the way to my car. There, I let it all out. I sat in there, for almost 2 hours, hating myself for letting such a thing happen. I am pretty sure that I just just lost my job, a job that I kept through the recent bad economic times even though a lot of my ex-colleagues had to be laid off. I was proud of my job, I loved my job. I could not help but thinking the reason why I managed to stay while so many others had to go, was that that creep wanted me in bed with him. I cringed even thinking of his stupid face.

I wanted to drive. I wanted to drive on and on and on forever. I did not want to go back home to face my family after what just happened. So I drove.

Until I ran out of petrol 10 minutes later. I parked my car by the roadside, with the fuel indicator glowing bright. I realised I parked right in front of an MRT station.

I wiped my tears and tried to look my best, bought the most expensive fare and boarded the train. It was crowded as usual. I was forced to stand but all I wanted to do was to curl up and cry.

All men are evil, I started thinking. Men are evil because they crave power. Power over others, power of wealth, power of position. My boss was an ass. My 'boyfriend' is a self-absorbed narcissist. My dad pushed us to do way beyond what we could. I hate men, I don't need them. Sometimes I just want to live as a spinster with my 7 cats and 3 dogs.

I managed a smile as the person standing in front of me was wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon cat and a dog being best buds.

"So you CAN smile," the man with the shirt suddenly spoke.

"Excuse me?" I was stunned.

"You've been crying. But I'm glad there's still something that is cheering you up." He smiled and looked away as if nothing happened.

I wiped my eyes again. I guess they must have been red or swollen or something. And probably now my cheeks are probably red. This day was not meant to happen. If only I didn't stay back longer than I should. If only I would have said 'no' straight up. If only...

"You should smile more. You look prettier if you do."

"Excuse me?" I stared into his eyes, trying to decipher what he was trying to do.

"I am not sure what happened, but he's not worth crying and being angry over. Everything happens for a reason. This could be the start of something."

"I don't think you understand my situation at all." But in actual fact, he nailed the gist of what happend to me. Was it written all over my face?

"I am sure I don't. I'm just voicing my opinion. I'll stop now. I'm getting off soon anyway." He smiled again. And with that, he alighted and was gone.

That was 2 years ago. I have since started my own business with a few friends. Life has been good. I know I was not that all nice to him, but the guy in the cat and dog shirt really helped me that night. I dwelled on it, pondered at what he told me, finally concluding that he was right. That night, I made a change in my life.

How often nowadays, do you see a stranger on the train and actually cheer you up? Or even just casual talk for that matter. Everyone is so engrossed in their daily lives and ignoring everything else that is going on around them. Most of the people I see on the train all have that look, that they have only one track mind, to get from A to B. I guess that is how I used to be as well.

I do wonder, if I could ever meet with that guy ever again. I would love to thank him for what he said to me that day.

Sizzling Singapore Summer - Part 1

I will never be able to forget the way she looked up at me lying down in bed. The look will shall forever remain in my memories. The moment I saw her, only a few days ago, it was lust at first sight. Yes, LUST, and not love nor like, and we both knew it was never going to last the moment our eyes met.

The days we spent together went fast. Two days was long enough for a fire to engulf the both of us, but too short for it to ever mean anything. We spent every second of my short time here in Singapore together, in the confinement of the cheap hotel room we found on such short notice. Our belongings dumped in the hotel's locker room, there was nothing to disturb us upstairs.

It was a rainy day, the day we met. I was feeling gloomy myself, just coming out of the Kwan Yin Temple at Bugis. Against all my non-adherence to the principles of astrology and soothsaying, I went in to pray. I had not set foot in this temple for almost 5 years, when I used to frequent it back in my Singapore days. The familiar scent of incense of the joss sticks, the cluttered shoes surrounding the central carpet, sound of clicking bamboo of the Cham Si... it all brought back fond long ago memories of rituals i've done over the 6-7 years around my education in Singapore. I was happy and free then. And after 9 years, I find myself drawn towards finding out my fortune, written on a flimsy piece of pink paper.

I asked how my life would be for the new year. Prediction BAD. All I remembered was, my crops/silk worms would fail, I will lose a court case, I should think about moving house, pregnancy will be dangerous, business will fail, my investments will drop. I specifically asked about my love life, but i guess I really should be worrying about other things. It did end by saying I will persevere. But it didn't really sound like I will.

I struggled with the umbrella I brought. Perhaps it was old and rusty, or perhaps I didn't know how to use it, but with a hundred things going through my mind at that time. My clothes soaked up the falling rain, my shoes soaking up whichever raindrop that missed. Already, I was not happy with what I have achieved over the last year. The girl that I liked rejected me. I did not get into any program to further my studies. I lost a great deal of money on poor investments. Knowing the dark future ahead, I was ready to break down and create my own puddle of tears.

Then, she appeared out of nowhere. She was holding up an umbrella over me, and she was smiling at me. At first I was stunned. Why would anyone stop and help this crazy guy sitting in the rain trying to open a rolled up newspaper, shouting vulgarities? But she was pretty. I wouldn't say she's the model I-want-to-have-sex-with-her type of hot. But there was just something about her that made my heart flutter. All I could think of was how she must be a really kind soul that helps anyone in need, and she probably will save the next guy who has a nervous breakdown in the middle of the street in the rain as well. To her, I was probably one of the damsels in distress who can't even take care of himself. I looked down at my wet shoes.

"Let's go get you dry."

I was stunned. She held my hand and pulled me to the sheltered walkway. Her hand was both cold and warm at the same time. I could tell that she was in the cold rain for a while, but yet her hands stayed relatively warm. It was like magnetic or magical touch, as I felt a jolt of electricity that made my heart pump even faster. She let my hand go and closed her umbrella. Without thinking, I started walking. I can't remember whether I was following her or she was following me, but we walked on for a while.

"Where do you live?" she asked me.

"I'm not from around here," I finally managed to say. "I'm here on holidays."

She smiled and told me that she lived on the other side of the island. Then she suggested something that I would never have thought she would, "Let's check in at the next hotel we see and get you dry."

I just nodded. And soon found ourselves in a small room in the SEA hotel.

I then sat down at the bed and stared into nothing. So much had to happen to me, and now this; A beautiful young lady who came to my rescue, looking so alluring and compassionate. I don't know what was written on my face, but she sensed that my mind was cluttered with worries and burdens. She told me that everything happens for a reason. I didn't pay much attention to what she was saying then. It was something along the lines of salt, and hope and believing, and smiling.

"I like it when you smiled back at the temple."

"You were watching me?"

"I have a confession to make. I am strangely attracted to you since I saw you at the temple. I cannot explain it. And when I saw you sitting in the rain, I knew I had to meet you."

I tried hard to digest what I have just heard. "You're really pretty, too," was all I could muster.

Then she laughed. Her laugh was even more alluring. As if I needed another reason to fall for her more. I smiled.

After a short pause, she came up to me and started undoing the top button of my shirt. I was again stunned, but I stood up in surprise. She held her spot and I found myself standing right in front of her, the lumps of her breasts just touching my chest. She still smiled and continued unbuttoning my shirt. Her eyes, after undoing the second button looked at my lips, and I knew that she wanted to kiss them. I let her finish the buttons and I slowly leaned forward to kiss her. I did not encounter any rejection and she leaned forward to meet mine.

I licked her lips, encouraging her to open them. She reciprocated and we were engaged in an intensifying french kiss. She pulled off my shirt and slowly run her warm magnetic touch down my chest. I put my hands around her waist and back, and pulled her closer. I rubbed her back as sensually as I remembered how. I didn't know how far she wanted to go, but she lifted up her blouse a little and directed my hand to the back of her bra. I stalled, but continued caressing her back. She quickly undid her blouse and threw it to the side. Her hands dug into my back, and I took it as a signal that she wanted the bra off NOW. I complied and unclasped her bra with a quick pinch.

She drew back and smiled at me. Her eyes seemed to sparkle, making it the second most memorable moment. She was so beautiful.

(( insert detailed erotic description here ))

to be continued?




~~~ this writing is purely fictional ~~~

Human Heart

I fell for this glassy eyed girl once. She was mysterious, and everyone stayed away from her. But it intrigued me, like a moth to a flame. She always had headphones on. She will never initiate a conversation with you. But she will engage with you when you talk to her, just like any ordinary person would. But she’ll gaze into the distance, like she is preoccupied with the world’s burden.

And her smile. She smiles as if she was happy for you but harbour all the sadness for herself.

Her hair was ethereal, long and wispy, like a permanent breeze going through her hair, emitting the sweet smell of her perfume.

And no one ever knew where she was from. She did not go to the same school as us, but there wasn’t any other school in town. After class, you can see her walking past the school gates. But no one knows where to or where from. No one really bothered to know I would think. Those who tried to follow her, will fail to track her. Some were brave enough to ask, but they never got an answer. I guess that is why no one bothers, and everyone stayed away.

I was so allured to her.

I finally, after months and months of collecting scraps of courage, just enough to get the words, “Hi,” out of my mouth.

“Hi,” she replied, smiling at me.

Clearly I didn’t think past that. She waved me goodbye as she walked pass me, with a giggle.

It was another week before I had enough courage to approach her again. This time, it went smoother. I didn’t want to pry in the beginning, so we just chatted about the latest movies, or pop songs. I would like to think we bonded, got to know each other. We didn’t talk about her past, despite me revealing my family, my childhood and my aspirations. I never knew where it was going, but she whispered to be once, that she enjoyed chatting to me.

It went on for weeks. The more we talked, the more mysterious she became. Instead of telling me her past, she shared her dreams, bringing me into her fantasy world of princesses and dragons and knights in shining armour. She was different from any girl I’ve dated.

Finally, one day, I tried asking her why she always had headphones on. She smiled again, her ever sad smile. She told me that it was her song, a song that keeps her strong, keeps her going. I’ve heard ‘favourite songs’ before, but the way she described it, her song was her life – passionate, if any good word fits. I really wanted to know what this song was, or what the lyrics said, but I was contempt with her answer.

The other burning question was where she was going. Again, she just smiled and whispered into my ear, that it was a secret, and that she could not tell me anything. It was something that I should not know about. Naturally, it just made me more curious. I’ve always tried to follow her beyond the end of the road, but she would always stop me. The more I pressed on, the faster she disappears around the corner. In the end, she made me promise that I must not follow her anymore.

But my curiosity took the better of me. I didn’t meet up with her that day. Instead, I hid in the bushes where I would always lose her. She didn’t see me. And so I followed her. Followed her through the park, into the forrest… up to a small little house. Awaiting for her at the door was a tall figure in black. The twilight sky cast a heavy shadow, and I could not make out his face, but the man was clean shaven with sharp features. I could not see his eyes hiding behind a hood.

She went into the house and the door locked behind her. I heard the man talking. I could not make out the words, but I felt frightened by them. I feared for her safety. Was this what she goes through every day? I had to go closer.

The words became clearer. The words were spoken in fear itself. "In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ... It is he who commands you... It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven to the depths of Hell... Be gone from this creature of God... Be gone... In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit... In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ... It is he who commands you... It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven..."

This doesn’t seem right.

Then I saw her.

She was standing in the middle of her room, arms stretched out in a cross, in the centre of strange markings on the floor. Her eyes were closed, but she was looking around, angrily. In the corner of the room behind her, the cloaked man was curled up in a corner, with a bible and cross in his hands. He was chanting the words over and over again, "In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ...”

I clearly did not know what was going on, and I probably shouldn’t have barged into the room.

The girl looked at me, with her eyes still closed, her gaze fixed onto my eyes. She smiled, but this time, it was not sad. It was happy… happy but evil. The smile turned to laughter.

She opened her eyes.

And it was not the glassy eyes that I looked into before. Well, one of them wasn’t. It was dark. I don’t know if there was an eye, but it felt like a chasm. It felt like all hope was being sucked out of me, the more I looked into the dark eye. I tried to look at her other, gentler, hopeful eye, but I couldn’t.

I was frozen. I couldn’t move. I blacked out.

And I dreamt.

I dreamt I was a knight, rescuing a princess guarded by a sleeping dragon. The princess came up to me, and whispered to me, telling me everything I wanted to know.

My princess was a chosen vessel. She had to bear the burden of a demon; a demon that would have caused the destruction of the world if not contained. No man made structure was able to contain such an evil spirit, such that they had to use a human. Only the human heart was strong enough to fight the demon to keep it at bay. However, the heart only had that many beats in it, and it only had the stamina to keep it for a day.

The "In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ...” mantra weakens the demon, so that the heart could continue on for longer. And that was the song she would have to listen to every day, every hour, every second of her beating heart.

They also figured a way to release the demon once a day, allowing the heart to replenish itself and build the strength to fight the demon again for another day. So that the chosen vessel could continue living. Living a near normal life by going through this ritual every day.

And that was what I stumbled upon.

She told me that I messed things up. She was sad that it happened, but it cannot be reversed. For the first time, I saw her frown.

I didn't know how long I was out for. Everything looked like a blur, I felt glassy eyed. I felt like the worst was over, and the nightmare had ended. I felt calm, finally. Can't feel any worry or burden anymore.

...but something was amiss...

... I can't feel any worry...

...I can't feel...

...Why can't I feel anything...

...What's that sound...

...I hear something... droning... like a broken record... like permanent headphones on...

...oh no...

"In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ... It is he who commands you... It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven to the depths of Hell... Be gone from this creature of God... Be gone... In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit... In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ... It is he who commands you... It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven..."

Schizophrenia. Part 1

I cannot trust anyone. I am my own man. A wise old man once said, "If you didn't go looking under the bed, the monsters won't be able to get you." I laughed at that, and now I regret ever looking. The more I dug, the more I found and it is eating my very soul...

I used to be a successful man. I had a career, I had a family, I had a life. Everyday, I would wake up, make love to my wife, spend breakfast with my kids, make another successful sale at work, and be home for dinner and to kiss the kids goodnight. I had friends who enjoy watching a good baseball game on tv over a few cans of beer. Life was good.

I cannot pin point where it all went downhill. But if I had to put an event or day to it, I would say it was the estrange phone call I recieved from my brother. His voice was trembling, as if Death was behind him, as if the world was going to end. I could not make sense of what he was trying to tell me, "...dogs are watching ... they know ... it is not what it seems ... the pier ... the fish are your friends ..." It was all nonsense, but being a brother, I called the acute crisis line on him. He died a week later in his own room at the asylum. It was put down to suicide, but I was not convinced.

I felt guilty. I was the one who put him there. But I slowly realised that what he had been saying all this time was true. As I visited the asylum to claim his body, I could hear the men in black suits and dark sunglasses even though it was 40 degrees indoors. They were saying that the task was completed, that the Dogs were unhappy that they had to clean it up. I had to investigate further, to seek redemption for what I had done.

It spiraled downhill from then on.

I made enquiries and searched every archive that was within my reach, to find out what Dogs mean. I searched every spelling I could think of, DAWGS, DOGCE, DOCKS... with no avail. Just when I was heading home from the library, I saw the men in similar suits outside. I slowed my pace, trying to get the gist of their conversation. The caught me eaves dropping and quickly walked away, pretending that they had a phone call. I knew they were spying on me. Dogs are watching. All I heard was "Bulls and the North Pole." I cracked my head what it was in relation to Dogs.

I was engrossed in my detective work. I called in sick. I did not go to bed, and I did not see my kids off to school. My wife tried to ask me what was going on, but I could not admit to her that I was responsible for my brother's death. I guess it was my fault also, but she started seeking help from other friends... And because of that I started to see who she really was...

...to be continued...

An Excerpt

...At first I could not accept your reasons for leaving me. You meant the world to me. I give you everything I had and I would even bring back a piece of the moon if you asked me to. I gave you my heart, but all you did was to stab it with a rusting serrated knife. It hurts so much when you left me. You created in me a big gaping void that I cannot fill up. I have tried everything, but I only seem to have made it even bigger.

You left me in a blazing desert, under the scorching sun. I feel like a dried up pile of bones with no will to carry on. All I can see are illusions of you in the horizon, illusions that I cannot reach even if I tried. Even when the sun sets, I am stranded in the cold lonely night. My tears have all dried up, and I cannot sleep with the feeling of sand in every crevace of my body. I feel like my blood had also turned to sand, making my heart ache with every beat. I tried hating you for leaving me this way, but I cannot blame you for it. I am my own fault, and you deserve better.

I am pathetic. I am tired of crying all night and bothering the people I know. They would eventually leave me, just like you did. I am all alone with no one to care about me. I long for a gentle hug, but nobody would even approach this hideous fiend that I have become. I don’t even recognize my face in the mirror anymore. The loneliness is already eating me, like an overpowering shadow creeping up on me, taking every sense of light that once gave me hope.

I have no more hope. I have no more feelings. I am numb, and I hate being this way. I am drowning in the dark waters, not being able to see which side is up, but I can feel that I am sinking deeper and deeper into the dark chasm. I am suffocating; every breath I take is saturated with poisonous fumes and every breath I give, I feel like a part of me is leaving. I cannot see the light anymore.

I know nobody would notice if I am gone. Even if they do, they would probably find a replacement in an instant. I've done my best, but it is never enough. I am dispensable and I feel like an overused, crumpled up piece of scrap paper at the bottom of the rubbish bin. I find myself waiting for the incinerator to turn on, to finally end my pathetic life. I really don’t see a point in living anymore.

There is nothing left for me in this world. I have lost my purpose. I am a failure. I cannot keep up with even the simplest of tasks. I feel stupid. I hear my conscience telling me that I should keep trying, but I know that it is pointless to continue. Everything that I have done has gone unnoticed or ridiculed. There is always something wrong, and I can never make anyone happy, especially you. I am just wasting everyone's time by being here. The world will be a better place without me in it.

The closest analogy that I can think to explain how I feel is like I am being mauled by a lion. I am contemplating proving that theory. It would be soothing to know that I would be in the company of the creatures I admire, but I do not deserve to be happy when I die. I deserve more unforgiving pain for my failures...



~This is purely a fictional writing. Any resemblance to person(s) contemplating or have already committed suicide is purely co-incidental.

Funny Story

I felt lucky tonight. We've been going out for more than 2 years already and I have been dying to hear him pop the question. He has been hinting about a special dinner date and even bought me nice jewelry for the occassion. Only I don't know what the occasion is.

"I'm sure of it." That's what all my girlfriends say. "He's the one."

I tried on a few dresses that night. It was so hard to choose the right one for tonight. I don't want to look too sleezy, but I don't want to look too casual. I wanted something that said, I'm serious about this. It took a while, but I got there in the end. I know he likes white, so I went with my silky white skirt and lacey white blouse. It took me another hour for the make up and hair, but it was worth it.

I got to the rendezvous point and he was there waiting for me patiently. I greeted me with a warm hug and a peck on my cheek.

"Hi Princess. You look great." I smiled back. "Shall we?"

I nodded as my heart raced even more. We were headed to a classy restaurant! He really did go all out for this night. I'm sure of it now.

Dinner went uneventful. Thoughts were racing through my mind, of how he would propose. Would it be the ring in the champange? Or a strong of violins? Or just a speech and getting down on his knees in front of everyone. My heart beat so fast, I thought I was going to faint. The anxiety was just overwhelming.

Dinner ended and nothing happened. I can't say I was disappointed. I know he still had a whole night planned ahead, but I thought that the restaurant would be a more romantic place. He'd better live up to my standards.

As we walked out the door, a gust of cold wind blew past us. As if a reflex, he gave me a squeeze which restored my faith in him, instantly warming me up despite the cold air. I smiled again.

Then, when I least expect it, he got down on his knees.

I couldn't help but I burst out, saying how much I love him and how much I wanted this to happen. I was saying Yes before he could say anything.

Then I realised that he was looking at me with a perculiar look.

"Isn't that what you wanted to say?"

"Honey... I am just tying my shoe laces..."

Love Struck

They say it isn't fair to like someone when you have someone else in mind. But there is a story of a ladder of friends/potential girlfriends that every guy possess. There is that epitome of the perfect girl I have in mind, and then there is that nice girl within arm's reach. The question is whether I will give up waiting for something that may never happen and settle for the next best thing, or persue the unreachable hoping that everything is as perfect as I imagined.

Or like any buaya, persue all targets and make a decision then.

I cannot tell you much of the girls I have in mind, as I do not know them that well. It isn't the beauty that is attracting me, it is something deeper that I see in them. Something that makes me want to know them. If only I dare myself to go talk to them more...

The interesting part of this tale is my REM dreams. I was getting married to someone behind a veil. I have no idea who it is. I see and feel my friends around me, but her identity remains a mystery to me. Everything seemed perfect. Then suddenly...

Violence everywhere. Aliens or monsters or undead or shambling corporate presence appear and we engage in an all out war with them. My instinct was to protect this wife-to-be and everyone else around me. It was like going through a Die Hard movie. The funny thing is that this isn't the first time I had this dream. I have had several similar dreams of me getting married to someone behind a veil and a battle after or during. I never knew her name...

Rubik's Cube Party

I came across an article in the Reader's Digest in my GP the other day. It just struck me as interesting and something that I would definitely like to try one day. I just need at least 8 other crazy friends willing enough to participate in this outrageous idea. If you are not familiar with a Rubik's Cube...

"As you know, the Rubik's cube has six sides and six corresponding colors: BLUE, GREEN, RED, PURPLE, YELLOW, AND WHITE. Unless religious obligations mandate a monochromatic wardrobe, I expect you have some clothes in these colors. You should try to wear as many items of clothing in as many different colors as possible, in effort to vaguely mimic the appearance of one side of an unsolved Rubik's cube. Your goal will be to leave the party wearing only one of the aforementioned colors, thereby solving the puzzle. To achieve this goal, you will be expected to exchange items of clothing with other guests. As with a real Rubik's cube, this is a puzzle of strategy. Negotiations (often involving alcohol) are likely to take place, along with the inevitable underhanded tactics and coercion normally practiced only by the ballsiest politicians."
Full article here

Its just whacky.

Speaking of colourful, I found this the other day:



If you're puzzled over why this ugly looking insect I put under colourful, it actually is a larva of a lady bug. Its been ages since I saw one, and I just happen to come across it on the way to work. Neat, huh?

Have a colourful day!

Valentine's Day

You are always there for me,
You never let me down,
Always keeping me company,
Cheer me up whenever I frown.

Like the stars to the sailors,
You guide me when I'm astray,
Like a conductor to orchestra players,
You keep me on track everyday.

I really wish I could spend,
The rest of my life with you,
Coz you care, you understand,
Make me smile when I am blue.

You are my fix-it guy,
You make everything alright,
I think I would surely die,
If you ever leave my sight.

I love you so much,
I really really do,
I feel safe with your touch,
Whenever I'm with you.

We'll never part, ever,
Coz, we're meant to be,
I will cherish you forever,
My beloved Ken Rhee.


I just wish someone would write that for me. But it wasn't a lonely Valentine's Day and time spent with friends is time worth spent. Of course for some, this would be their last Single's Night Out... All the best to you.

You are my life,
You are my wife,
I'll take care of you,
I'll be there for you,
Have fun playing,
When done working,
Play fun games together,
Call sweet names to each other,
Watch anime,
Everyday,
Watch Movies and TV,
Heroes and House MD,
Whenever you frown,
I'll strip you down,
Clean you up,
Spice you up,
Make sure nothing is wrong,
Perhaps even play you a song,
When everything is well,
When things are swell,
I'll kiss you good night,
I'll miss you... Sleep tight!

Dedicated to my computer, which is currently being repaired.

The Next Step

Others would say that it is just sour grapes, but medicine is a really crappy course. I really thank my lucky stars that I am no longer taking it. No regrets failing the exam and no regrets not having a goal in life. I used to think that I was able to make a difference in the world as a doctor, but in actual fact, I never will.

Now that I am purposeless, I can now work and fund my expensive hobbies, mainly Magic: the Gathering and World of Warcraft. Haring a leeching partner also doesn't help the situation. And between work and play, there is practically no time to spend with anyone. Also, to keep fit, exercising along the river takes the remaining time and energy that I have. Yeah, I do not have a social life anymore.

I have recently taken things up to the next level. Everything that I'm doing, I am doing it at a higher level of commitment. For instance, I am leveling my WoW character to 70 and getting leet items and gear, replacing most of my old ones. Buffed, I have cam do lots of heals in a shorter period of time. I love this quote from my friend: “Druids are the best healers. Paladins are better. But Priests are GODS.”

I’m also taking Magic: the Gathering to the next level… to make profits out of it. I trade and sell cards, and make tons of money in the process. If I can find buyers, I would make more than I spend on them. Which is good. I’m getting there…

And lastly… to take my Sudoku craze and my Rubiks challenge to the next phase:

Two Timer?

You may find it disloyal or what not, but it is possible to find yourself loving two women at once. For me, I conclude that for every man, there are two souls that are made for him. Of all the women in the world, a man will ever love only these two. Both of which he will do anything to protect and is willing to sacrifice his life for.

The first, he will find, pursue and in the end, marry and cherish forever and grow old with. The second will have his unconditional and undying love, and he will do anything to keep her safe from harm.

To my first soulmate: I promise to love you, to be there to support you, to be who you need me to be, to be a better person for you, to be your crying shoulder, to listen to your worries, to tell you how pretty you are everyday, to hold your hand and never let go.

To my second soulmate: I promise to take care of you, never to let anything bad happen to you, to make you happy, to teach you all that I know, teach you what is good and all that is good in this world, so may you grow strong and beautiful.

This post is dedicated to the heroes of our world, inspired by:
24 – Jack Bauer’s love for his daughter, Kim
Love in the Driest Season – Neely Tucker and his quest to adopt Chipo
The Emperor’s Embrace – a story of the evolution of fatherhood
The Lord of the Rings – Elrond, wanting safe haven for Arwen

I Wish I Had a Camera

Today I made a trip to KL in search of much needed old memory. Walking through the corridors of Sungei Wang reminded me a lot about myself. My early childhood was spent here whilst my father repaired the home pc at Imbi. I watched the shops evolved as they added new floors and more shops. Now it has become more of a fashion hub, for both clothes & accessories as well as electronic goods.

Hundreds of geeks flock to the scientific side and hundreds of Ah Bengs and Ah Lians flock to the greater parts of the complex. These teenage girls with their skimpy or somewhat sensual outfits reminded me much of my pornographic collection, and deepened my preference of Chinese girls. Back in Australia, I'm only exposed to Caucasian females. Big features maybe enticing, but give me Asian beauties anytime.

Satisfying my eyes with this pleasantry, I began to wonder about the question, why do girls like dressing up. A friend once answered that it is because they feel more confident about themselves. And also that they think guys only like than it they are sexy. Can't argue there... It's only natural that we choose a sexier or hunkier counterpart. Unfortunate for us geeks on the 6th floor.

But pretty girls was not the reason why I wanted a camera. At the camera shop on the 6th floor, I fell in love with sleek and sexy model. I could not get my eyes or hands off. The manager let me play with this beauty all I want. The Canon 400D.

I was always interested in photography, but never had the chance to do so. I never did have the time to research on how to produce quality photos and never the right equipment for it. It's still a dream until I can afford to fork out RM3500... Oh well, there is always Chinese New Year and my Birthday coming soon... With the meager amount of money I had, I settled instead for the outdated memory card I was looking for.

And now the real reason why I wanted a Camera:
To capture a scene whereby a police car driving along Petaling Street, passing not less then 5 stalls selling pirated DVD's and nothing happened.

Bath of a lifetime

She told me that she was going to do something special with me that fine day. I knew from the look in her eye that I was, going to enjoy it. All I could do was to smile back.

I did not have any clue at all as to what it was. But to me, doing anything with this lady whom I have grew to love will be good. Everything that she has done so far was to show how much she loved me. I could not even begin to show how much I loved her in return.

That night, we both got ready for what was planned for me. I was excited. She had already allowed me to touch and suck on her lovely breasts, and that was a really lovely time, truly an enriching moment. I could only wonder what she would let me do later.

She called me from the bedroom, telling me that she was ready. I replied that I was ready too. She picked me up and started undressing me like she always did. Soon, was stark naked in front of this beautiful and wonderful lady. She led me into the bathroom and revealed that she was going to give me a bath!

She had the tub filled with warm water. She tested the water, making sure that it was perfect for me. She was always careful with everything she does with me and again I really appreciated her presence. Slowly, I was lowered into the water. It was a little shocking at first, but her face was so calm and she was encouraging me. As I got used to the water, I started laughing.

She got down on her knees and started rubbing me everywhere. She used a mixture of the warn water and some soap to clean my body. Every stoke was a gentle carress, which I enjoyed more and more. She touched me in places that I would not have thought of. She did not even spare the inbetween of my toes and I was subjected to a little torture of being tickled. I never knew that taking a bath could he so much fun!

About 30 minutes later, we were done.

This was nearly 24 years ago and the memory has been long forgotten, but my parents both can recall this memorable moment. All I can say now is that I love them and can only wish that I could show the same kind of love to my children.

Into the New Year

It’s been only a week into the New Year and already I have broken my resolutions. I had promised myself to abstain from sex this year. But hormones were raging through my system ever since I saw her last. I have been having vivid dreams of her in my room pleasuring me all over and it did not help me get through this week well. Every night I am torn, between my resolution to come clean this year, and my desire for her. Tonight, I finally gave in… I called her.
She came into my room knowing what I wanted, as if she herself had put this spell on me. In a business matter, she took off her jacket and tossed it together with her hand bag over the couch. She was wearing her black dress, the one that I loved. For most of the year, that was what she wore whenever we saw each other. As if it wasn’t enough, she was also wearing the perfume that would always brought me to my knees. It was a scent that set off a repeat button of erotic scenes through my head.

She grabbed me in my weakened state and pushed me into the bed. She smiled, and I felt paralyzed. I was having second thoughts, but also thought about seconds. I am trapped in my own doings and I lay there helpless as she started taking off my pants. Before I knew it, I was there in my underwear and she was kneeling down on top of me.

She slowly undid her dress. So sensually and so slowly that it was annoyingly erotic. She bent over and kissed me. Her lips tasted so sweet, so intoxicating. I felt her tongue on mine and I fought back. Our tongues twisted around each other, savouring what each other can do. We knew what each other wanted and we both were pleasured. I wanted her so badly…

By the time we came apart, she was almost naked. Her hands were guiding mine to the hooks of her bra. Instinctively, and skillfully, my pressed on the hooks and the bra popped open. Even though I knew how perfect and beautiful her breasts were, I was gazing into her eyes. She need not be naked, as I loved her beauty already with her clothes on, may it be a loose t-shirt or a bikini. She made me weak. She melts me.

She was the kind of person who makes me want to be a better man. We both knew my flaws and she corrects the, and complements them. With her, I can only think of protecting her with all my heart. I don’t know whether it was the spell that she put on me, but I loved protecting her. I felt useful. She made me function, she made me whole.

I knew if we both stopped, I will be stronger. This was a little sacrifice to take to ensure that this relationship will go further. No, it shouldn’t be a sacrifice. It should be something that I want to do. It was my decision to not have sex with her this year and it was up to me to do it. I was so close to breaking it so early in the year.

We ended up just hugging each other naked and not doing anything. I didn’t have to say anything. She understood me so well. She fell asleep in my arms and I could not help but watch her sleep. All of my worries seemed to have passed whenever I see this sweet angel of mine in my arms.

I survived my first week.

I'm feeling rather bad today... Firstly, I wasn't that all happy that yesterday ended. I had such a wonderful time I really wanted it not to end. I wished that time would just stop at my command and that I can do what I want to do and get over things that I did not want to go through...