Monday, January 08, 2007

Into the New Year

It’s been only a week into the New Year and already I have broken my resolutions. I had promised myself to abstain from sex this year. But hormones were raging through my system ever since I saw her last. I have been having vivid dreams of her in my room pleasuring me all over and it did not help me get through this week well. Every night I am torn, between my resolution to come clean this year, and my desire for her. Tonight, I finally gave in… I called her.
She came into my room knowing what I wanted, as if she herself had put this spell on me. In a business matter, she took off her jacket and tossed it together with her hand bag over the couch. She was wearing her black dress, the one that I loved. For most of the year, that was what she wore whenever we saw each other. As if it wasn’t enough, she was also wearing the perfume that would always brought me to my knees. It was a scent that set off a repeat button of erotic scenes through my head.

She grabbed me in my weakened state and pushed me into the bed. She smiled, and I felt paralyzed. I was having second thoughts, but also thought about seconds. I am trapped in my own doings and I lay there helpless as she started taking off my pants. Before I knew it, I was there in my underwear and she was kneeling down on top of me.

She slowly undid her dress. So sensually and so slowly that it was annoyingly erotic. She bent over and kissed me. Her lips tasted so sweet, so intoxicating. I felt her tongue on mine and I fought back. Our tongues twisted around each other, savouring what each other can do. We knew what each other wanted and we both were pleasured. I wanted her so badly…

By the time we came apart, she was almost naked. Her hands were guiding mine to the hooks of her bra. Instinctively, and skillfully, my pressed on the hooks and the bra popped open. Even though I knew how perfect and beautiful her breasts were, I was gazing into her eyes. She need not be naked, as I loved her beauty already with her clothes on, may it be a loose t-shirt or a bikini. She made me weak. She melts me.

She was the kind of person who makes me want to be a better man. We both knew my flaws and she corrects the, and complements them. With her, I can only think of protecting her with all my heart. I don’t know whether it was the spell that she put on me, but I loved protecting her. I felt useful. She made me function, she made me whole.

I knew if we both stopped, I will be stronger. This was a little sacrifice to take to ensure that this relationship will go further. No, it shouldn’t be a sacrifice. It should be something that I want to do. It was my decision to not have sex with her this year and it was up to me to do it. I was so close to breaking it so early in the year.

We ended up just hugging each other naked and not doing anything. I didn’t have to say anything. She understood me so well. She fell asleep in my arms and I could not help but watch her sleep. All of my worries seemed to have passed whenever I see this sweet angel of mine in my arms.

I survived my first week.
 

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