Patient

Patients. Patience. I am intrigued that the two words sound the same. Patient, Patient.

Could it be that the patient have to be patient to be seen by a doctor? Well, I think its more likely that we doctors have to have patience with patients.

I'm currently on the psychiatric ward. Patience is what I need to get by. Sometimes, I feel like slapping them really hard. Sometimes I want to bang my head to the wall.

I rememebered that I sat in with a patient and we talked for almost 2 hours. I never spent that much time, even as a student. It was a complete waste of time, though I did manage to get more information from that interview, but it was still time wasted. At the end of it, I had to give up. After I reported what happened, my consultant told me to maintain a professional distance, choose your battles wisely.
So never again will I get too involved in my patients. I am there to be their doctor, not their friend.

I used to cold, when I was a medical student. I tried not to get drawn into the patients' lives and had no heart whatsoever. They told me as a student I had to have a good amount of passion towards the job, as it will dwindle as I progressed. I don't think it has dwindled at all. I seem to care more. I don't want to do my patients wrong. I want to help them.

But. Idiots fall sick. Sadly, idiots fall sick more often than not. Drug users mostly. Smokers. Obesed. Narcissists. There is a lot of them to go around. Too many. And although it is painful to treat them, we have a duty of care. And we get abused because of it. I am used to being a 'Yes man.' And I see myself continuously being stepped on. Will I still have that patience and passion?

Anyway. I don't know if I should feel troubled, when I start believing my patients' delusions. Is my heart too soft?