I've been walking down memory lane lately, and I was reminded of you. It was so long since I have written to you. I guess I have been working a lot and not really thinking about all the things that plans that we have made together. I was really just going through each day without thinking and I feel as though my brain is rotting from all the mundane things that I have been doing.
I miss the discussions that we have had, the "What if," questions, the ambitions, the plans we had as we grew up. I almost forgotten why I wanted to be a doctor in the first place.
The story has changed over the years, I could never pin point when I really wanted to be a doctor. There was a time when I really believed in Evolution, where it was survival of the fittest, the weak are not deserving of this harsh world. Modern medicine defies that theory. I did not like the idea of not just the fragile and weak, but also the nasty and sinful genes being passed on to the next generation. I hated humans for defying the laws of nature.
I loved animals, and I still do. I wanted to be a zoologist, a biologist, a nature photographer, a vet. I wanted to help animals more than I liked humans. My favourite author is James Herriot. His witty and artistic description of his adventures of veterinarian was very intriguing. I could understand all the jargon. Even now, after being through med school, the jargon made more sense and his tales of patients/owners really sounded like my own patients.
My parents discouraged me from pursuing that career. I took the "next best thing," which was treating humans.
What I liked about animals was their innocence, their basic instincts. If you remembered the series "The Walking Dead," where it was either you losing your higher functions as a zombie, or heightening your will to survive as a survivor. That's the same as animals, the basic need to survive. The selfish gene theory.
Anyway, children's minds work similar to animals. They live of basic instincts, something that cannot really be taught by others, but can be manipulated. Treating children was like treating innocence.
I sat in a surgery while I was in JC. It was the basis of my essay for entry into med school. I sat in a reconstruction of a cleft palate of a young girl. It was more than just cosmetic, but the surgeon explained that this surgery will change her life. She would be able to live normally. I watched a life changing surgery, as I decided that, that was what I want to do. I want to make a difference in someone's life by using what skills God gave me and helping them out.
Now that I have re-ascertain what I want to do, this is what I shall work hard for...
Yours Truly,
Ken Rhee.
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