T-minus 1
(well it should have been if not for my health...)

What scares me is now is that I am watching the series Lost. It's about a plane that crashed on course from Australia to Singapore... It features a bunch of survivors who miraculously survived the crash. They all survived, and the main cast all have a tale to tell, and they are actually in fact, emotionally and spiritually... Lost.

So begins the story. Miracles happening and all that. Every episode will star a character, and the problems he/she is facing for the day, and at the same time, will reveal his/her story which he/she will have to relive and find themselves to get through their stay in the island.

Then enter the shamanistic character, Locke. He was a cripple, and the crash made him able to walk. After his episode, he became this sort of a preacher. He believes strongly that the island is filled with mystical powers which brought all those who survived there for a reason. He started taking it like a duty to spread this knowledge, teaching everyone. In the beginning, he was the righteous one. After a while, I felt a tinge of evangelistic sentiments being weaved into the show.

When I look back, Christianity has always been beside me almost all the way of my life. Though I am a Buddhist, I have asked questions about the religion. I feel that I do know much about Christianity, but then, so did Lucifer. Anyway, I am also reading a book "The Case for a Creator." The first few chapters already is shattering my beliefs in Darwinism. I held to the Theory so much because it was the most logical sensical fact in my life. I am still mulling over whether I still hold on to it because I am stubborn or because it is true...

The part which scares me is that I am in this period of not believing anything. Nothing has been going my way these couple of weeks. And I do feel Lost. And an interesting discussion I had yesterday, about the 7 deadly sins. I am committing all of them at this very moment and I don't know what to do. Evelyn tried showing me the other good 14... but I can't see any of it...

Anyway, that's just a gist of what is going on in my mind now. Back to being lost.. I mean, watching Lost