Monday, March 22, 2004

Another weekend over, another painful time to get up early and go to 8am lectures... I got up normally after three tiring nightmares. I really hate them nightmares. I mean I am constantly wary of the 'being' that is always on me. I know there is a psychological reasoning behind this stupid sensation of being squashed. oh well, I am just glad it's over... I changed up and did something new, putting on my free pair of contacts. I didn't have much trouble putting them on and my eye didn't hurt as much. I guess I am getting used to it... I was 'late' so I decided to skip breakfast...

I got to school on time, but not as early as I hoped. Stupid cleaners just throw away anything they see on the floor. Can'y you see that they are IMPORTANT? I guess not, since you are just a cleaner, won't know what is the difference. It happened during the AIDS week. My beautiful poster GONE just like that. I really wish they smarten up and see what they are throwing away...

Anyway boring lectures, fell asleep twice... dashed to have my breakfast/lunch, dashed to the computer lab to print my elective report, dashed back to PBL room, hoping to get things done as soon as possible so that I can spend more time with her. But it back fires...

PBL was a more fun one today, more joking around. I like this PBL group. Not that my previous one was bad, just more study orientated. This time, though serious work is done, it's still fun. I miss Gowri though... It would be the same without her, but this is a new atmosphere I think I would enjoy, and would miss it once it's gone... I guess it gets better everytime and it all can't be the same...

PBL done, Yee Neng decides to have a meeting... I couldn't really get anything done in the meeting, my body may be there, but my mind is somewhere else, and my heart is somewhere else... As I said, my plans for today didn't go really well... All I wanted was to spend as much time as I can with her, but I am caught in the middle of different committees here and there, and I can't be as free for her as I like. I don't know what to do. As much as I want to spend time with her, I also want these things to do so that I get to write something on my report card. I don't know what's the use and I don't know why I still keep doing it.

I rush back to my apartment to look after it as the workers were finally finishing Kenneth's room. Evelyn came later and she was really angry at me. I know that I am wrong, and I tried so much to apologise, but I guess I am not as thoughtful as I thought I was. I guess that this was what Sheena meant by 'taking her for granted'. I had my dose, I am guilty, I feel guilty. I want so much to change my stupid attitude. All I have is one more chance... ONE more...

The workers were done at about 1600hrs and I waited for Choon Keong and Yick Yeong to come back. As soon as they were back, I rushed back to school...

Dance practice was a bore and for me, a waste. I'm sorry that I came late, but I don't think it would make a difference if I came earlier. I danced twice or two and a half times, and slacked most of the time. Before I knew it, it was time to go. oh well.. Had dinner with Yuhana and Aishah and then, I head to the library to do some research... BORING
 

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